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The Parables.

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Levinski5

Levinski5

Posts: 1,608 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Nguy's Review:
The Parables:

Interesting, quite a few shorts to roll into one review. Here goes nothing,
Plot: 16/20
Spelling & Grammar: 18/20
Originality: 19/20
Vocabulary: 16/20
Personal Liking: 17/20
Quite enjoyable, Nguy. Your style is quite different from the others on this forum, that is quite evident with your 96/100 contest piece. Slightly strange, yet entertaining. Your vocab is fairly good, and your plots were quite strong. It was infrequent, but in some sentences I felt that you may have used too many commas. Overall, some great work on this thread.
You have achieved the rank of Word Smith in the Ardougne Story Guild, with a mark of 86%. You now have access to this signature:
.±-=_°•/-The Word Smiths'-\•°_=-±.
~`Ardougne Story Guild - Meeko`~

14-Sep-2008 02:53:59 - Last edited on 14-Sep-2008 02:55:54 by Levinski5

[#5Q2EFKD77]

[#5Q2EFKD77]

Posts: 10,319 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
'Allo there. :D
I saw the name and the title--assembled shorts are always good for a varied read--and decided to pop in. Unfortunately I've already read many in the contests.
Some of the stories don't flow well at first--they're very wordy--but your concepts are fabulous, and you stick to them, so by the end of every story, I'm hooked. :D

12-Oct-2008 23:35:50

Veranysis
Dec Member 2023

Veranysis

Posts: 2,524 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Hey Nguy, I'm pretty sure I've told you that I read these (I did, by the way in case I forgot that I told you), and I still have one question...

Could you pleeeeeease post a translation of you quarter-final entry?! I nnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed to know what it said!

20-Oct-2008 05:19:53

Borna Coric

Borna Coric

Posts: 3,785 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Very entertaining.
I have a problem though:

Dropping anxiously (yes, 5 syllables)
Growing into one sap-p-ling (yes, 7 syllables)
Turning to oak (no...4 syllables)
(Turn)(ing) (to) (oak)

Nice work, though. I loved the fairytale one. :)

24-Dec-2008 01:56:49 - Last edited on 24-Dec-2008 01:57:12 by Borna Coric

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Posts: 9,782 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I read most of the first page and the first couple of the second. Very interesting tales, Nguy, I was particularly fond of the creature one, as it relates to the current book I'm reading: Frankenstien.
A couple of places was a little strange to the eye though:
"how I could of killed..."
You meant, could have?
And the ending of the creature could've been more powerful, if you brought in a quote from some guy I can't remember the name from the 19th century:
"I think, and therefore I am" which is kind of what you were saying there. Nevertheless, pretty interesting stuff.
Some devices I didn't fully understand, but then, I suppose I'm not expected to understand the true extent of these works.
Mmm, I see you pretty fit for my guild tbh ...
Anyway, have you written any longer works, rather than just contest related writing? I'd be interested to see you generating an extended, in depth storyline.

24-Dec-2008 13:31:36 - Last edited on 24-Dec-2008 13:35:36 by Englishkid62

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