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Ele Cambria
Jul Member 2017

Ele Cambria

Posts: 1,024 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
THE PRINCESS PROTECTOR
By Ele Cambria and Iluvnunya
My husband Mark and I are team-writing a story – as in, we take turns writing a few lines. I wonder if you can tell which parts he did and which I did, lol.
Here's the first chapter, (sorry it's so short) but there's more to come =D

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Chapter 1
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Mark stared upon the soaring beast with anxious eyes. He had spent the better of three years hunting it. And now, at last, they met in a conflict that only one would live through.
Mark double-checked his weapon – a vial containing a spell of amazing power. Once released, this spell would take hold of its target and crush it down, pushing, pressuring, collapsing everything inherent in its target creature until it formed, in a matter of moments, a gem of incomparable worth – more so, the greater the beast.
Yet, as he faced the runite dragon, Mark knew those moments could be long and deadly. The dragon, now sitting just outside its den, looked around his lair as if it sensed its fast approaching doom. Then /she/ stepped out. She looked like... but no, Mark knew that was impossible. She caressed the feet of the beast, and it seemed to release a snort of approval, or even delight. Those clear blue eyes, those delicate, almost shimmering white hands – the Princess Cambria!
The dragon lit a fire in the midst of the cavern, illuminating everything inside, including his hiding place.
The princess took another step forward, putting herself between him and the dragon. The dragon glared at him from behind her, and Cambria gracefully avoided its lashing tail.
She looked Mark up and down, noting every flaw, he was sure – every stain in his old cloak, every hastily-patched hole, every scorch mark on his anti-dragonfire shield, every little thing about him that screamed “peasant”* - a label he had long worked to overcome.
She asked the obvious question: “What are /you/ doing here?”

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*old word meaming "noob"

22-Jan-2008 22:24:13 - Last edited on 30-Nov-2009 14:50:07 by Ele Cambria

Charmeddude0

Charmeddude0

Posts: 8,316 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Wow... You are really really good, you and your fiance at that. (Congratulations, by the way, for you and your fiance.) Your writing styles are really alike, and they're both really good... Wow. Just awesome. I did find one sentense that had a small mistake. Very small. ">>The<< /she/ stepped out." The was meant to be Then, no?
You two keep writing! Really good use of words, and I don't think there were many grammar mistakes, I'll look back...
Wow. Yeah. Great Job ^_^ . Lol.

23-Jan-2008 23:53:08

Slay Orc 681

Slay Orc 681

Posts: 5,039 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Alright, I just read it, and it's pretty impressive. The word choice is fabulous, and your writing styles are almost identical, making a smooth transition between your writings.
There's not really much more to say, as there is only one post and that is hard to judge from, but it is good at this point. Keep it up, I'll be watching.
Oh, and as an end note, come and chat on the Story Discussions. That way, people get to know you better and are more inclined to read this.
If someone over there insults you or is rude in the slightest, tell them 'Guard says to shut up, or there will be quick retribution.' That'll keep any would-be flamers off your back. :P
(Not that anyone would, but there have been a couple cases of open hostility to newcomers, all from the same person. His name is Scout574. He's actually a nice guy and a good friend, but you have to look past his sarcasm and sometimes immature flames towards newcomers. We all <3 him though. ;) )
--Guard

24-Jan-2008 01:18:28 - Last edited on 24-Jan-2008 01:23:54 by Slay Orc 681

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