At its core, I found this story pretty enjoyable. The concept of the party hats being objects of power adds an interesting element, and I find myself wondering who else will be drawn to the quest by the end. I also look forward to an *epic* battle when the Sword of Zamorak meets an entire army.
Logan and Aura are the most realistic characters of the story, but honestly they still don't seem to have a whole lot of depth. That's probably because the story hasn't progressed terribly far, but nonetheless it's something to consider. They both have their quirks and a fair number of decently-styled interactions, but so far their true natures are only lightly exposed.
I scanned over the reviewer comments and they had it right; there are still a lot of grammar and spelling errors littered around, even though I didn't find myself incredibly distracted by them. There are a few odd moments with your sentence structure too, especially right at the beginning--the colons and semicolons don't seem to work well.
At heart, though, it's a solid piece, and I look forward to seeing it cleaned up and streamlined in the future.
07-May-2010 18:50:50
