RuneScape Forum Archive | Late Night Roleplaying

D F Angel

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"Certainly made a pig's ear of it," chuckled Ormund the Watcher. "Back in my day, a genie'd give you three wishes. Or am I to believe you've got a meerkat's belly and quagga's backside hidden under that cloak of yours?"

He spotted that the bartender, for some reason, had brought up a dagger with him from the basement, but made little of it. He tried pushing the bottle of wine towards Gleaf or Dobbin- whichever of the two was closest- determined that all should share in his merriment. Hags be hagglin', gods be god damn crazy, it's all happening ogre at Into The Fire

09-Jun-2016 02:22:57

Venom1383

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"Of course he gave me three wishes." The Pigman told Ormund. He took a sip of his mead and turned back to the gnomes. "My first wish was for the most beautiful woman in the world for a wife. Tall and fair, with wondrous golden locks, a long delicate neck, slender legs and a devilishly curvy figure." Ramsay Bolton is the king we deserve.

09-Jun-2016 02:34:47 - Last edited on 09-Jun-2016 02:35:07 by Venom1383

NotFishing

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Neither of the two gnomes touched their wine - perhaps their gnomish constitution couldn't handle it, or maybe their gnomish upbringing taught them to avoid such substances. Instead, Gleaf looked to the bartender. "Excuse me, why do you have that knife?" He questioned.

Meanwhile, Dobbin was listening to the pigmen's story. "See!" He suddenly said. "At least you got something good out of it." Beneath the gold, the Bitter Steel.

09-Jun-2016 02:41:50

D F Angel

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"Oh, this old thing?" said the barman, waving the dagger aside nonchalantly. Now that he was being forced into an actual character, his features became more defined, the shadowy mist of uncertainty about his complexion drawn into sharp reveal- it was a sinister look, masked by the uninteresting quality that all bartenders seemed to acquire about themselves.

Behind the smile, the eye roll, there was a hint of panic. And when he held the dagger below the bar so none could see, it began to pulse, and below arcane creatures began to move. They know too much.

"A woman?" Ormund rolled the only eye available to him. "Waste of a wish, there's plenty of warmth you can get beneath a humble cloak." It would seem that Ormund couldn't shut up about the bearskin, that he had let it define him. Or perhaps, only other people defined him by that quality, and the Watcher was such a shell of a man that he was clinging onto the only aspect of his life people had taken a fancy to.

"What was yer second, then?" Hags be hagglin', gods be god damn crazy, it's all happening ogre at Into The Fire

09-Jun-2016 02:50:55

Venom1383

Posts: 4,159 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

"Oh, she's wonderful, and I love her dearly. Everything you could want in a woman. I'd love for her to be the mother of my children, to grow old and die with her at my side..." The Pigman said to Dobbin wistfully.

Turning back to the Watcher, he took a third cup of mead and continued. (Too buried in his misery, he did not notice the barkeep's sudden spike in evil appearances). "My second wish was a huge mountain of gold. Yes, we all know it never ends well when ya ask for riches, but I was a greedy fool. I asked for enough gold to buy a kingdom and a half, more than I could ever hope to use." Ramsay Bolton is the king we deserve.

09-Jun-2016 03:00:28

NotFishing

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Gleaf almost would have waved the dagger off... but he saw the panic in the bartender's eyes, combined with the sinister appearance. Although that could just be his imagination... he looked towards the pigman. "Let me guess, the mountain of gold crushed her?" He asked, before turning back towards the bartender and narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

"Gleaf!" Dobbin suddenly said, offended at his brother's rude outburst. But he continued listening to the pigman, wanting to hear the rest of the story. Beneath the gold, the Bitter Steel.

09-Jun-2016 03:07:44 - Last edited on 09-Jun-2016 03:13:21 by NotFishing

D F Angel

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"Nah, they were 'aving a kingdom sale at the time, was totally ripped off," was Ormund's own suggestion to how the story must've ended. Where one went to a kingdom sale was anybody's guess.

The bartender, aware of Gleaf's judgemental staring, slipped a special vial from his pocket, one he always kept in case of emergencies. Absinthe. He placed it just below his navel, and stabbed through it with the dagger, into his own body. He bit back the pain, tears welling into his eyes, and slumped backwards, crashing into the door behind him, half-standing against it as blood and drink began to mix... Hags be hagglin', gods be god damn crazy, it's all happening ogre at Into The Fire

09-Jun-2016 03:12:16

Venom1383

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The Pigman's eyes widened at Gleaf's prediction. "Oh, God no. She's perfectly fine. Gold is too. Now we'll never have need nor want ever again." Drinking his mead again, he glanced at Ormund, finally noticing the bartender's odd behavior. Making nothing of it now, he turned back to Dobbin.

"So, lastly....

"I wished for the head of a pig."

Ramsay Bolton is the king we deserve.

09-Jun-2016 03:19:56

NotFishing

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Before either Dobbin or Gleaf could respond to the pigman, the bartender had knifed himself in the gut and fell backwards.

Dobbin immediately sprang into action. He stood up on his stool, leaped onto the bar, dropped down to the other side, landed next to the bartender, yanked the dagger out, and immediately attempted to use a healing spell on the man.

Gleaf, meanwhile, had furrowed his brow in both confusion and shock. Then, grabbing his glass of water, he hopped down from his stool, grabbed his staff, and rushed around to the fallen bartender. He leaned his staff against the bar and let go to pick up and examine the discarded knife. "What..." Was all he could say, unable to understand what just happened, or why it happened to begin with. Beneath the gold, the Bitter Steel.

09-Jun-2016 03:26:16 - Last edited on 09-Jun-2016 03:33:31 by NotFishing

D F Angel

Posts: 19,587 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

The bartender smiled meekly, opening the door that he leant upon and allowing himself to fall through.

Coming up from the basement were the elementals.

A cold chill filled the air, along with an unreasonable over-abundance of froth, as the beer elementals emerged, a brownish-yellow colour, their outlines constantly becoming misshapen due to the bubbles within. After them skidded two wine elementals of deep red, with wine-capes and extravagant head-pieces that looked somewhat like crowns. And last of all to emerge was an elemental of vodka, larger, sterner, more solid and more sharp and more deadly to boot.

"Wait, did he want to **** the pig?" Asked Ormund, confused.

((All elementals are auto-hittable due to it being twenty-five to four, feel free to have your way with them afore the boss bottle.)) Hags be hagglin', gods be god damn crazy, it's all happening ogre at Into The Fire

09-Jun-2016 03:34:28

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