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Hudsonstorm

Hudsonstorm

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Good job, again, Roshie! ^_^ I'm glad I finally got to reading them, even though I've only the read the first three. They are all very interesting, especially the Runelink one that ends differently than I and others expected. :P I only found one problem, too. Something about this sentence in the first story doesn't make sense:
Thinking back on that day, and the weeks of fishing it took to reach it made her smile. She had since caught thousands of sharks, but the feeling never got old.
I get the point, but maybe it could be worded better? I don't know, but good job anyway. :)
Oh, by the way, you have a dead link to another story of yours on the first post. It's to Journeys, but it doesn't work anymore.

22-Mar-2008 23:18:11 - Last edited on 22-Mar-2008 23:19:28 by Hudsonstorm

Roshinda

Roshinda

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Yeah Journeys survived months of my being absent from the forums, and then died basically as soon as I "returned", so to speak. It was depressing. Lots of people liked the story even though I wasn't overly pleased with it.
Thanks for reading and bumping everyone.

23-Mar-2008 15:24:47

Roshinda

Roshinda

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These were my two entries in the recent 100 word contest held by Mod Tron
(ok, only one apparently. When I coppied them before the thread died, I left out the first line of one of them apparently)
-------------
Tendrils of shadow toyed with the edges of the pale, luminescent face; grabbing, grabbing, grabbing. Greedily, steadily, it consumed the sphere, fueling it's insatiable hunger. The light yielded to the shadow of darkness as it was devoured.
Below, gaping heavenward, the gathered townspeople formed a perfect tableau of fear, panic stamped across their frozen faces.
Only a sliver remained.
Time stopped.
"Zaros has returned! We are finished!" a voice cried out, quivering before being drowned in the silence.
Chaos.
Time once more marched on. The tableau dissipated into pandemonium as terrified masses broke away screaming.
The world plunged into darkness.

02-Apr-2008 08:19:39 - Last edited on 02-Apr-2008 08:21:38 by Roshinda

Roshinda

Roshinda

Posts: 6,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
~The Gift~
"I'm so sorry I've disappointed you." The words were breathed so softly they might have been mistaken as merely a sigh, had he not been so intently focused on the movement of her cracked lips.
"Oh my darling Aerina. You could never disappoint me, my sweet angel," Joris whispered back, his voice cracking with emotion.
Gently Joris took one frangible hand in his own robust palm and raised it off the bed. The skin covering the delicate hand was translucent as aged vellum, and cold. Tenderly he kissed her curled fingertips, her knuckles, the back of her hand before letting it fall back to Aerina's side.
With his other hand, he reached over her limp body and smoothed her chestnut hair back from her wan face. In the flickering glow of the lamplight, her tresses nearly shone as they had in her health, the light catching and accenting a few lighter strands.
"I have never been more proud of you," he murmured.
Aerina's eyes, once twin pools of pellucid blue but now opaque and dull with pain, regained a hint of their former sparkle as, soothed by the loving caress, the corners of her mouth curved into a faint smile.
She swallowed, wincing with even that slight effort, and the pain was back in her eyes. Joris struggled not to turn away, ashamed of his futility.
"You're so beautiful," he said instead, his words thick as he forced them through the sudden lump in his throat.
Aerina closed her eyes, and he could see the great effort it took for her to open them again; his heart was wrenched with grief.
She looked up at him and struggled to speak, "Do you have regrets? About me I mean?"
Joris slowly shook his head, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. "No my love. Maybe that I didn't cherish you more when I had the chance. I don't think you know how much I love you."
"Then why are you so sad?"

02-Apr-2008 08:22:37

Roshinda

Roshinda

Posts: 6,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Again Joris lifted her hand, this time pressing her clammy palm to his unshaven cheek. "I feel so... so useless. You are my wife, I'm supposed to protect you. But I can't. Not from this. There is nothing I can do to help you." The tears that had been threatening could be held back no longer, and the salty liquid ran down his face and left two wet stains on the comforter.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Aerina began to babble, and Joris leaned closer to his wife to hear her words. Her fever had returned; he could feel the sticky heat emanating from her frail body without even touching her, and he climbed into bed beside her, hoping to use his own warmth to stave off the fever again.
"I'm sorry I couldn't give you a son," she whimpered as the delirium, took her over.
Joris held her and whispered soothing words into her ear. "Aerina my dear one, you gave me something far better. You gave me yourself for the precious years we had together, and you gave me a daughter who will be just like you. You will live on for always in her."
Aerina sighed, at last able to rest. She was so exhausted from struggling to keep death at bay for so many days.
*****
The lamp had extinguished itself sometime in the night, and the fire had been reduced to glowing embers. The body he woke up next to was still and cold, and Joris kissed her one last time.
Rising and dressing, he entered the next room and took his infant daughter from the wet nurse who had been both her father and mother for the first two weeks of her life. His grief would accomplish nothing now, and there was much for him to live for.
"Good morning Aerina," whispered Joris, kissing the child's perfect, proud forehead.

02-Apr-2008 08:23:09

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