RuneScape Forum Archive | ~~English's Forgotten Tales~~

Englishkid62

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Perhaps becoming aware of my own tendencies at this stage (as evidently not the case in Nightmare), I felt it quite fitting to use this opportunity to make a rant, through Kipplin. Why I started playing the game was exactly the same reason why Kipplin started playing the game. How Kipplin had to make up the lost hours at night was exactly how I have done it, and his fall from grace all the same. These changes gave human qualities to an otherwise despicable scammer, who throws lavish drop-parties in this manner.

Although I have never gone to the length Kipplin had, and the park scene did not happen, through this story I critiqued myself through the eyes of Danny, asking myself when possibly I could stop playing this game. That he doesn’t love you. So in essence I had hoped that from this lesson I need to learn to let go, yet appeal to the readers, what I’d done hadn’t been a waste of time…?

This story launched my career here in the Stories forum. Quite evidently, the “ “ speech marks were introduced from feedback by a member here whom I will not name, and that is before I learned that “ “ are more commonly used in the US, and ‘ ‘ are what’s used in the UK. Technically, the story was poor throughout. The ending with no prompt of going back to the beginning confused a lot of readers, who also told me the story was too complex. Faced with a barrage of confused yet encouraging minds, I thought of ways of perhaps addressing my writing style.

And what did I gain from writing this story? Everything you see here, and a safe knowledge that most people out there did not believe Kipplin was a waste of time.

12-Feb-2011 16:53:52 - Last edited on 26-Mar-2011 10:36:17 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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~~The Abomination of Men~~

(August 2008)

Over the next two and a half years, I have not yet the courage to set foot on the haunted park where the gem of life – love – was confronted by the cruel, rotten reality; I realized the conventionalists would always defeat those who dared to stand up against them wherever they were, and in whatever they were doing. It was life and it was their game. Indeed, the losers and those who failed to make a difference went down in history unremembered, forever lost. It still pained me when I recalled the most meaningful feelings I had ever experienced being viciously torn, ripped, and incinerated before my very own eyes along with all the principles of which I once promised myself to abide to in order for a healthy, prosperous and harmonious society.

Since that Christmas Eve I was never quite the same again. Kipplin had set me an example and opened my eyes to the possibility of an alternative life style, a brand new meaning of life as well as the natural innocence and the beauty of genuine love. Moreover, he matured the way I think and feel about the world around me. He led me from the wretched land of confusion to a paradise of peace and faith. Without him I wouldn’t have bothered to do my best in my A-Level exams, which turned out rather well – at least it enabled me to continue my study in college as an understudy chef, while David, on the other hand, became a student in Physiotherapy.

I couldn’t forget how cruelly he repaid Kipplin’s love; even so, I wouldn’t scorn him for who he was and what he did. He was my best friend at the time and I had since learnt to view David through Kipplin’s eyes: if Kipplin loved him more than anything else in the world, this alone would make David more valuable than I would ever be.

12-Feb-2011 16:53:52 - Last edited on 02-Apr-2011 10:10:54 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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Interestingly, David had called me earlier today and would like to meet me in the park where I dared not to go. It was a peculiar request and I knew better than to refuse. We barely communicated since that Christmas Eve. Perhaps it was some ‘catching-up' sessions I was obliged to go to, or perhaps David wanted me back in his life. No, David had his own problems, or so my other friends had said, and a heart to heart talk was simply what he needed right now. Still, David had plenty of other friends to talk to: it didn't have to be me. The fact that I wasn’t being particularly friendly to him for the last two years had intrigued me enough to want to find out what he actually wanted to say. David and I never had a heart to heart talk, and what made it impossible was the fact that David possessed no heart. He was cruel and had no genuine feelings for those around him. We would communicate to some degree, and never beyond a shallow converse.

Confronting my own personal dislike for the place, I stepped hastily through the ancient black gates I knew so well on that sunny evening. As I walked under the shadows of the willow trees, I battled my own memories, restraining my emotions until I achieved some sort of inner peace. This wasn’t going to be the ideal way to spend my Saturday, I thought to myself, and there would be nothing to look forward to. A few minutes later, I succeeded in locating David, who sat on the one bench I dreaded and cursed with every antipathy in the world – I guess the past was so well remembered that I could never forget that Christmas Eve.

12-Feb-2011 16:53:52 - Last edited on 02-Apr-2011 11:12:03 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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Unlike his usual self, David didn't seem very happy today, or at least I thought he could do with a little bit more cheerfulness. He sat and waited on the bench like a lost child, wanting to be found. His trimmed, golden hair, stroked by the gentlest breeze, shimmered under the evening sun invitingly while his eyes seemed to conceal a certain dark secret or some awfully bad news. I wasn’t going to venture up to him before I was composed enough to do so – I had to keep cool. I spent the next thirty seconds watching him from afar unnoticed, and when the period was up, I no longer blamed Kipplin for doting so madly on David, nor would I blame anyone else in the world apart from myself.

“So, what’s up?” I greeted him in our usual way and sat next to him without an acknowledgement in return. David and Jenna had broken up a week ago and everybody knew that – well, my friends told me. Maybe he just needed a few words of encouragement, I thought. After today he’d be fine and dandy again, picking up another girl was never a problem for David anyway. When he gave no response to my greeting I spoke again, perhaps slightly more impatiently than before.
“Why are we here?”

He was quiet for a while.

“Jenna left me, Danny,” he said with a certain grief and uncertainty in his tone, and he shook his head. “But I don’t blame her. I never really loved her anyway…”

“I figured. Why did you go out with her in the first place?” I inquired, and at that point he turned to me, his eyes were full of plead.

“Do you not know?”

“What?”

“I had always loved someone else.”

Intrigued, I asked: “Who?”

“Please don’t make me say this.” He turned quickly – his voice was alarmed. I thought I saw fear, as if he was changing his mind about the purpose of this meeting.

“Tell me.” I placed my hand on his shoulder and he looked at me with a certain sadness that I never quite understood.

“Please don’t tell anyone.”

12-Feb-2011 16:53:53 - Last edited on 02-Apr-2011 11:12:19 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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I paused, “Okay,” I asked impatiently, “Since when had you have problems getting another girl? Now, who is it that you have problems getting?”

“… Man, I’m in love with – you.”

I had never experienced a declaration of love before, and I knew not what to do … it was weird, there were all kinds of thoughts in my head and suddenly it all made sense. I realized what all these strange glances and accidental run-ins over the years had meant.

“I know it sounds strange, but I knew I loved you since the first day of college … remember?” He continued, “I know I can’t have you … it’s not right. It’s not how things were meant to be. Trust me, I tried really hard to be rid of my feelings for you – it’s not like I haven’t tried the girls–”

He never loved Jenna. He loved – me.

To be honest I never thought that David would be interested in another guy, and certainly not someone like me. As far as I was concerned I was just a normal, average person. Coming out to me that evening was one big step David had gambled. I mean, biologically he was still the same person - David – but he was … different, you know? This was not the David I knew. Okay, he had a heart.

“Being with Jenna made me realize you’re the only one I really wanted. Before, I needed Jenna to tell me who I was supposed to love – but I was wrong.” Taking this one step further, he inquired, “I just needed to know whether you … love me too.”

12-Feb-2011 16:53:53 - Last edited on 02-Apr-2011 11:12:57 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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My God! What would one do in a situation like this? He had said his feelings for me were undeniable. It was so true. I was so very confused, very tempted! There was no longer a single fault and imperfection in David in my eyes, and the easiest thing to do would be to give him a hug and accept his love, telling him that I loved him too. Going out with David would be scandalous, yet satisfying to my unruly desire. My hunger for a new way of life. I would feast on him and seize the bait, caring little over the consequences. I would break all obstacles to happiness, and cost what it may.

It was this moment when the old memories of Kipplin crept their way into my consciousness, appealing: “YOU? Who on Earth do you think you are? What on Earth have you ever done to deserve somebody like David?”

“Well?” David asked again. His voice was of doubt and immense fear – still I could give no answer.

Silence.

“I’m sorry, David. No, I do not love you … I can’t love you.”

I stood up, because my eyes were beginning to water. The thought that Kipplin gave his life for David had relinquished all the possibilities of which I would ever accept his love. I could not steal Kipplin’s ultimate prize away with four simple words. Something held my hand as I tried to leave.

“Danny, please, I’d do anything for you!” David pleaded. I turned back to him while trying my hardest to conceal my raw emotions.

“Let go, David, just … don’t.”

I had to leave. We couldn’t be together. He was meant to be with Kipplin and only Kipplin. I was turning my back on David like it was meant to happen, like it was natural to do so. Little did I know how David would have felt. Little did I care.

12-Feb-2011 16:53:53 - Last edited on 02-Apr-2011 10:14:43 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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After a few more paces, he shouted after me “Give me a chance, I beg you, please!” Suppressing my biggest surge of emotion I’d had in months, I turned for the second time. Was David crying? I could not tell – my own vision was blurred by my own tears. Making sure that he couldn’t hear me, I mumbled to myself. “You’ve had your chance.” And I walked on, wiping my tears with the back of my hands as I returned home that evening.

***

“Now, let us pray. Dear God, our heavenly father…”

Sometimes I wished my attention span could endure an extended prayer, which I believed was the key to make my time in the Sunday school much more enjoyable than it currently was. Every week my family and I visit a local church not far down the road. It was an alternative way to spend my Sunday mornings, I believe, after all you won’t lose anything going to a church.

The Sunday school was especially targeted at teenagers and young adults around my age. Our leader, Nathan – who was not ten years older than I, was a solemn teacher, with a face concealing nothing but the intense stubbornness that I had begun to question. Throughout the last couple of years we learnt about the Creation, the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, The Ten Commandments, Leviticus 18:22 and the fact that Jesus loved us all as equal beings – perhaps some other things as well that I couldn’t quite recall. While my parents were singing hymns outside our sound-proof closet, I wondered the meaning of life all over again – not that I didn't do this often enough, as I already did - to me it was simply a fair topic worth getting distracted over during a Sunday morning.

12-Feb-2011 16:54:07 - Last edited on 02-Apr-2011 11:13:26 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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“Give us strength and lead us not to temptation, and deliver us from evil…”

Every so often I caught my Mum tearing outside whilst she sung (yes … I do let my eyes wonder about during prayers sometimes), moved, I guess. I shut my eyes again and resumed the prayer.

“…and may the power and glory forever be yours. Amen.”

It was an unjust accusation. Somehow, people often get the impression that all teenagers were wicked, rotten, and rebellious. Somehow, people often assumed that I often swore at my seniors, broke windows and twisted the necks of pigeons. No - far from that! I loved my parents, and I believed they loved me too. My parents were nice people, I’d say. One day they showed me all the photos they took when I was a baby, and I was amazed at the amount of love they poured on me at that time, as well as all the hard work they did since those photos were taken. It was as if I owed them all I had … and sometimes, I smiled to myself of the fact that I was lucky enough to have parents that loved me, for who I was.

“So … today we’ll learn about the true meaning of love. Okay … Sarah, what does the word ‘love’ remind you of?” Nathan began, his head tilted slightly to his left as he waited for an answer. The Asian girl with shoulder-length black hair and a pair of large spectacles lightened up before me, she sat up (although it didn't make much of a difference anyway) and smiled.

“Love is when a woman has a desire to be with the man she dreams of day and night – and love will last until death do they apart.”

“Yes, excellent!” Nathan smiled, “That is a form of love. Any other thoughts?”

“Love is when a man and woman marry.”

“Umm ... Okay … not quite, but close enough.”

“Love is when a man and a woman offer themselves completely to each other.”

“Yes, that’s good.”

“Love is when a man and a woman share the same passion and feelings for each other.”

“Yes! Quite right.”

12-Feb-2011 16:57:09 - Last edited on 02-Apr-2011 11:13:59 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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I was uneasy about Sarah. We went to the same college and the same church. I must admit she gave me the chills sometimes, when she stared at me intently – like now.

"That leaves you – Danny?”

Pause.

I took in a deep breath, sighed, and began:

“Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is selfless and it does not envy nor boast. Love is the investment of faith, passion, and loyalty between both partners – regardless of their gender. Love always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. Love is priceless and it will never end.”

Some of the teenagers showed anxiety and signs of distress. Some were shocked; some were disturbed. Sarah’s smile faltered while Nathan looked as if I had just embarrassed him in front of his Father – I could even bet he trembled slightly when I said it.

“How do you mean – regardless of gender?”

“Like … you know … when they’re the same gender – like when a guy loves another guy.”

“Well, I’m sorry. How could that ever happen?” Nathan made an attempt to laugh and his voice was full of disbelief, “that’s not possible, don’t be ridiculous, Danny."

"But it’s true though,” I protested excitedly. “Love does exist between two guys – it can exist. I know someone who’ll tell you this first hand.” Strangely, I had forgotten who I was referring to only a moment later.

“Okay, it may seem like love to you,” Nathan replied slowly, his position awkward. “But it’s not the love we know and it certainly can’t be genuine – which was the point of this discussion, the true meaning of love.”

“But it can be genuine!” I wasn’t sure whether this was worth raising my voice over, but I certainly did. “I believe it is genuine – my heart tells me it’s genuine!”

12-Feb-2011 16:57:10 - Last edited on 02-Apr-2011 11:14:53 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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“Well, that means you have a wicked heart,” Nathan replied coolly, moving on. “You must pray hard. Ask God to cleanse your thoughts and soul, and pray so that you can define Good from Evil. The Right from Wrong.” When I tried to speak again, Nathan interrupted me, his face still pale, “You know full well that the practice you speak of is condemned. Let’s not discuss this anymore, okay? End of discussion.”

I remained silent for the rest of the morning as I was told. Sometimes Sarah would give me a wink or two but my mind was wondering all over the universe again.

Later, I realized the adults had finished their service. There were excited chatters in the main hall and I couldn’t wait to join my parents there. Free refreshments were available in the dining room and while Nathan realized this, he repeated those casual words, with a certain greed and hunger in his voice: “To finish off, let us pray…”

Sometimes I wished to do something different. Sometimes, I looked out and wished to rip open that black railing outside the window with my bare hands. Sometimes, I wished I could make a difference one day and change the world.

It wasn’t long before I returned home later that afternoon and resumed my own little story in the fantasy world of RuneScape – yes, I played the game still after all these years. My friends’ list remained ‘red’, however. There was no one in the world for me to converse my unmentionable thoughts, my dark secrets. I wished I could see Kipplin one last time on RuneScape, to converse with him one last time would I consider my final prayer answered.

Now I was the one waiting day and night…

***

12-Feb-2011 16:57:11 - Last edited on 02-Apr-2011 10:18:07 by Englishkid62

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~~English's Forgotten Tales~~

English's Forgotten Tales