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[#45SO12LQO]

[#45SO12LQO]

Posts: 1,182 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Ow my eyes... I have been reading this for about three hours and the light of the pc had totally ruined them.

Awesome btw. Bad stuff? in ardounge the fist fight scene was very confusing. Could have been me though as I was reading very fast.

It is totally brilliant and I think you should publish it. A couple of things I would like to add... The start seemed wierd... I really think you need to start sooner and by that I mean like a tiny bit before he reaps the guy as he reaps some dude then zamorak told him to?

We have nothing to compare it with realisticly. We need a bit more info, maybe a page or so before it starts. Although that would mean moving every paragraph one down...***** m8 *falls instatly into a heavy sleep penetrated only slightly with the odd rumbling snore*

I also would like more graphic detail of what the adventurers were doing in varrok btw. They seem to be doing very little and you need to add a particular section where the sewers are collapsed as the entrace was already held. Then the armies flood into the etc. Never forget the underground blah blah *snore*

19-Jun-2009 19:21:47

Cicobe1

Cicobe1

Posts: 4,823 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Thank you, Lord! I really love your criticism, and feel free to check up on the thread every now and then to check for updates.

I've been gone on a 3-day camping trip, but I'm back now!

Oh, and I will add to this over the summer, as soon as my school year ends (June 25th).

19-Jun-2009 21:21:34

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