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Cicobe1

Cicobe1

Posts: 4,823 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
There is no set pronunciation of my name. Feel free to call me anyway you can pronounce it.

It was named by taking the first two letters of my sister's first, middle, and last name (which I shall keep confidential of the whole name) and adding the 1 at the end.

Ralph - Thanks, I hope you enjoy the story.

As for everyone else, I've been busy lately; a new chapter should come at least by this weekend.

24-Feb-2009 00:23:09

Farlassi

Farlassi

Posts: 203 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Woot, this is fantastic. Great work!

Couple of thoughts -
- The fighting with Iban was a little confusing. I thought you'd killed him in Varrock, and then suddenly he's in Ardy? I may have been reading too fast, but your readers will tend to skim. You could try to structure your paragraphs so that it's easy to spot his name when he disappears or returns or whatever. (Say, make it the first or last word of the paragraph.)

- Trace out some of the shades in how your reaction goes from "oh my 0.0 - Saradomin" to "You're just as bad as Zamarak". This is a great place to let the reader into your mind.

- Are Ceril and you the only brave, skilled fighters in Gielenor? Show some of the adventurers as something other than pathetic. I know what you're doing is in the best TV fashion, but these are after all your audience. Give them some credit. There are bad guys enough to go around.

- Why has the fighting between Zammy and Saradomin reached its peak exactly now? Does it have something to do with you and/or Ceril?

- Are we supposed to have figured out by now what makes you so special, besides having reached 99 Reaper? Do we know yet what has/will have happened to the other 99 Reapers? (I find myself wondering if this story is actually a master quest...)

Again, terrific. Keep up the great work.

24-Feb-2009 02:52:37

Cicobe1

Cicobe1

Posts: 4,823 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
●

That's weird. O_o

Farlassi - Thanks. :)

English - How about no? :|

Lastly, that random gibberish at the top of this message isn't completely random. A Jagex moderator posted a bullet on the forums

(For example:

-example

-example

except the dashes are bullets).

I tried copying and pasting it into this message, and when I did, it made... that. Weird. O_o

24-Feb-2009 23:22:26 - Last edited on 24-Feb-2009 23:26:19 by Cicobe1

Cicobe1

Cicobe1

Posts: 4,823 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Frod Hound - I usually take a small break in between full chapters. Therefore, a new sub-chapter should come out by today or tomorrow.

I also welcome everyone else to read my contest entry for the finals on the Story Contest: Changes sticky, on page 100.

I hope you enjoy. :)

28-Feb-2009 18:31:46

[#J30A8US0E]

[#J30A8US0E]

Posts: 1,392 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Nice entry Cicobe1. I loved the words you used and the great description. Better than most published books. I'd like to see all the great authors read that entry from you. They would be like

"That kid is the greatest kid author I have ever seen!"

Because I have never ever seen such great description and use of words. I will hope to be that good of an author someday.

Good day- meaning good bye lol

28-Feb-2009 18:42:05

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