RuneScape Forum Archive | ~* Yrolg's Omnibus *~

Yrolg

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The Following was written for the 'Story Contest' by Mod Raven, in FunOrb.
Dave's life had gone from bad to worse, and all the way through to terrible.
His bad luck started on Monday, when he'd made a fool of himself in-front of the rest of the classroom. He had given an entire 20 minute long speech with ink all over his face. It was his own fault for eating the pen, but he just found it far too tasty.
On Tuesday he had managed to fall down a well, and had to be rescued by a golden retriever. He had been laughed at by his friends, his family and even the frogs seemed to be mocking him. It was his own fault for not looking where he was going, but in his defence that well had been hidden by the greenhouse that Dave had crashed through moments before. Of course, he would have to pay the owner of the greenhouse back at some point, possibly when he had more than 50p to his name.
But today was Wednesday, and he'd managed to make things even worse. Upon waking up that morning he had stepped outside to begin his paper-round and managed to ride his bike straight into a jet black van. Now he was tied up in the back of the van by strange people, in strange uniforms.
It was 7.45 in the morning, and somehow he had already managed to get himself kidnapped. Today was going to be a bad day.

23-Jun-2008 14:46:21

Yrolg

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The accoutrements adorned by the acolytes to whatever force reasoned Dave to be summoned, were heinous in their design, and malfe**ant** unpleasant to stray one’s mind to. Of the most abstract designs, they were made of the sorts of metals and charms available only to the highest artisans of evil, those worshipping the magic of the wicked, the gods of ambition, and the morals of the corrupt. The gloves, the boots, even the glasses worn above their crooked, odious smiles, all exuded the odors only allowed to those vestiges of the most iniquitous of vices.

Who these people were could not dawn on Dave. Their uniforms were indistinct: their insignia*, foreign to Dave; their bijouterie, though explicitly malevolent, was vague in its alliance with deities of such malevolence. Most curious of all, to Dave, was that these abductors adorned to their beings an almost tangible sense of devotion, loyalty, and respect – though to whom, Dave did not know. Slowly, the enormity of the situation dawned on Dave; no amount of begging, groveling, amphiboly, or rhetoric would cause this group perfidy. They were bound, though Dave knew not of their consensual bindings to the greater being, whoever this daimon was, bound heart and soul to the bellwether, the vanguard of this assemblage of beings.
All of this, Dave thought, whilst riding, bound, gagged, and destitute of dignity, accompanied by the solemnity of his fellow riders, and their eerie, insonorous quiet.
Slowly the solistic feeling wore away, and was replaced by an unnatural, uncomfortable quiet, broken only by the struggles of Dave, to acclimate to his bonds, or as the fuliginous van, shot through the land, always towards the eerily atramentaceous Westward Sky, over the asperitous road, glancing on the bumps and bundles thereon.

23-Jun-2008 14:46:38

Yrolg

Posts: 25,296 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Slowly, as the monotony of the journey overcame the racing adrenaline, pounding throughout his vascular canals, trying, in vain, to escape, it seemed, Dave was overcome by exhaustion, the effects of this combatance with adrenaline, and, though prepared to do else, Dave slept.
The van sped onwards, maintaining its westward course throughout the day, an ominous discrepancy on the ever extensive horizon. Just as the sun sent its last feeble blast of light, in a futile attempt to banish the shadows from the land, before disappearing to rest for the perpetuous battles of the morrow, the black van broke the singular monotony so acclimated to every participant in its strangled march forward, and it stopped.
Slowly, as cognizant functions returned, and the conscious cortex won the battle of the brain, Dave awakened from his sleep, fastly coming to the conclusion that he was not (though for better or worse, he still knew not) at home. Lent**udinously regaining the memories of where he was, Dave slowly began taking note of this new, phantasmagoric situation.
The uniformed men had driven to an unknown forestland, and, though now stopped, they did little, if anything differently different than they had done, all throughout the arduous trek. Finally, as Dave began to think that death by any means might be the preferred pass-time, as opposed to a continuance to the torture he was thereby enduring, a uniformed man slowly approached him, and, for the first time, in the over twelve hour journey, Dave heard a voice other than his own. “You are Dave Arteu, are you not?” the man asked Dave, in a gruff, heavily accented voice, almost inaudible voice.

23-Jun-2008 14:46:55

Yrolg

Posts: 25,296 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Dave was astounded, having by then assumed that these foreign men either did not speak his language, or did not speak at all, as a symbol of their covenant, at first was not able to reply. As the uniformed man’s question finally began to dawn on Dave, he, at last, was able to force up some form of an answer. “Iye Dphomt nowetd ue yis,” Dave began to reply, before, for the third time that day, realizing the severe hindrances of being kidnapped.
The man opposite Dave quickly, efficiently, and methodically removed the gag, with either the sharpest and smallest knife Dave had seen (or not seen, for that matter) in his life, or by some innate magical ability, for, having had hours to do nothing but chew on the gag, Dave had made sure to attempt every feasible method to both tighten and loosen his gag without the normal aid of the hands.
“You are Dave Arteu?” the man inquired again.
“I don’t know who that is, but I can assure you, I am not this Dave Arteu,” Dave answered.
“You are sure?” the man asked, with a deep, resonant baritoned voice.
“Yes, quite sure, sir,” Dave replied, whilst wondering how in the world he had secured himself the role of not only most unlucky person in his town, but most unlucky person in the nation – AND whatever new land these strange men had smuggled him to.

23-Jun-2008 14:47:08

Yrolg

Posts: 25,296 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

“Very well.” The uniformed man quickly replied, before releasing him from his bonds, opening the rear door of the van, and signaling for the driver of the van, though Dave could not see through the tinted window who this driver was, to continue the journey.
“I don’t mean to be rude, sir, but you realize that your door is opeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnn, phrmph ick harmif staaahhhhh” Dave continued as the man, in a quick, unexpected measure, shoved Dave through the opened door, and as Dave rolled down the shoulder of the barely perceptible road, choking on the irony of his words, and, perhaps, a few bumps along the hill’s downfall.
There lay Dave, unconscious, bleeding, and alone, in some deserted forest.
This was turning out to be a truly horrible week.

23-Jun-2008 14:47:29