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RS Story Contest #4 - Survivor

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97swiftarm

97swiftarm

Posts: 6,533 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Airline Food

“So… lemmie get this straight. You want me to hop in this… thing, which can apparently fly, and get to the Gnome Stronghold?” Frank waved his axe in the general direction of the gnome flier, looking less than impressed. "Look addit. Ain’t nothin’ but a few pieces of magic timber and,” he gave the contraption a light tap. “What I’m guessin’ is yak hide.”

“This thing is in fact one of the breakthroughs of Gnomic Engineering – an aerodynamic and self-powering Gnome Glider!” Gnormadium Avlafrim stroked his glider affectionately. “I call her Betise. Believe me, there’s no safer way to travel the world, whether it be a short trip from Ta Quir Priw to Sandarpos or a long adventure from Ta Quir Priw to Gandius!”

“I don’ even wana know.” Frank slung his hatchet over his shoulder, nestling it within his rugged lumberjack overalls. “Look, no offence or anythin’ mate, but she don’t look too fit for flyin’.”

“She’s fit as a fiddle, mister!” Avl gave Betise a light tap, which responded by having a piece of the wooden frame fall apart. Without skipping a beat Avl wiped the piece of timber in swamp tar and pushed it back into place. “Besides, you don’t have a lot of choice. You could walk north, through the wolf and ogre infested swamp,” he gestured north, which came alive with activity. Wolves leapt out of cover, killing a helpless Jubbly bird. Not to be outdone, an ogre stumbled down the hill and beat all the wolves to death, before forgetting what it was doing and leaving. Frank paled slightly. “Or you could walk south, heading through game country – hunters have been known to accidentally kill stray travellers – to eventually arrive at Oo’glog. But hey, ogress’ are sure to give you a ‘warm’ reception,” Avl waggled his eyebrows and nudged Frank a little, who paled further.

23-Jul-2011 09:17:02 - Last edited on 23-Jul-2011 09:20:16 by 97swiftarm

97swiftarm

97swiftarm

Posts: 6,533 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“Ah, not your scene. Well, there is one last choice, to the west! Rantz lives over there, who’s a nice enough ogre. Same adventurer who helped us set up this route also helped him set up his rafting services,” Avl reached into his bag and produced an eyepiece. “Take a look and listen. You should be able to hear him from here.”

“Yous needy boat? Rantz has one!” The bellowing cry echoed over the land. Rantz turned out to be a hulking figure waving a Jubbly drumstick above his head with one hand and pointing to a ‘boat’ with the other. As Frank watched, it started to move forward with a poor soul inside. Suddenly they stopped and the ogre leading turned around, flipped the boat and punched the ogre behind him in the face. Bellowing echoed over the hills. “Fycie! Bugs! Whys yous killsy silly ‘uman?”

“Maybe you’re right,” Frank folded the eyepiece down and handed it back to the Gnome. “Can’ have meself being killed without flyin’ now, can I?”

“Excellent! One trip to Ta Quir Priw and - oh, why not - have it on the house!” He ushered Frank closer to the glider and began to demonstrate the proper conduct when flying a glider. “Now, make sure you keep your hands and feet inside the glider at all times. Wouldn’t want to kill us with drag.” Frank's face seemed to show regret over the choice he had just made. “Nonsense! You’ll do fine. Plus, today we have a special treat for you! We’re beginning our partnership with Gianne’s Restaurant, meaning we’ll have in-flight refreshments! Now* lets get started!”

~~~

“Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to flight 304 on Gnome Airways. I’ll be your pilot today and I hope you enjoy your flight with us. May I please remind you to keep your hands and feet inside the glider at all times,” Avl looked pointedly towards Frank at this stage, before continuing on his speech. “Flight time is approximately three hours. Flight attendant Avl will be around shortly with your in-flight refreshments.”

23-Jul-2011 09:17:15

97swiftarm

97swiftarm

Posts: 6,533 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Frank shook his head, again asking himself what he got himself in to. He had to admit… the in-flight refreshments should be interesting.

“Frank! Refreshment time!” Frank looked to his left where Avl had his head stuck deeply within a bag, rummaging around. “I know I left them in here somewhere…”

“Uh… shouldn’t you be watching the skies? I mean, we could run in to a…” suddenly realising what he was saying was stupid, Frank quickly shut his mouth as Avl pulled his head out of the bag with two light blue drinks.

“Dragon? Well, yes, it is possible. Blue dragons do tend to fly around up here,” seeing Frank’s look of horror, Avl offered him one of the drinks. “Drunk Dragon? Vodka, gin, dwellberries, pineapple and cream!” Frank quickly took one of the drinks, emptying the contents down his throat quicker than humanly possible. As he reached for the second, Avl did the same to the other bottle. “Ah, nothing quite wets the throat like a Drunken Dragon!” He gave a light hiccup and giggled. “Oh, that’s a funny joke. That is.” He looked to his right where Frank had his head in his hands, crying quietly. “Oh, liven up! Have a look at the menu and have something to eat!”

Frank, whose mind was often ruled by his body, grabbed the menu and searched it. Crunchies, battas or bowls? He couldn’t decide! Wordless he pointed at the chocolate bomb. Avl looked at him and shook his head sadly.

“Sorry Frank. Bowls and battas are for first class passengers only. Anything else?” Frank quickly pointed at the choc-chip crunchies. “Oooh, good choice. Can I see your frequent fliers card? These are only available to frequent fliers, sadly.”

“You know this is me first!"

23-Jul-2011 09:17:39

97swiftarm

97swiftarm

Posts: 6,533 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“Calm down, Frank! There’s still some choice,” Frank looked down the list and then back up at the gnome. “You can have Worm crunchies. They’re quite delectable. Toad crunchies too.”

“Anything edible?”

“Everything’s edible, Frank!” He pulled a toad crunchy out and quickly ate it, licking his fingers. “Delicious… but now you only have a worm crunchy left,” he gave the pastry to Frank, who wordlessly took it and watched one worm wriggle. Avl looked away, tying the bag back onto the glider and Frank quickly took the opportunity to drop the worm crunchy.

“Ah… airline food. Nothing else like it, eh Frank?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, this is exactly 6k characters on Microsoft Word. Copy it over and check. Sadly, the RSB count an enter as one character, which it's not. That means, so my spacing is still correct, I need to use more than three posts. If this is a problem, you know how to contact me.

I can send you the original copy if you really don't trust me.

EDIT: Just FYI, if you copy it over directly, the RSB adds a space to every line before you hit enter. Look, I've sent the original document by 'email.

23-Jul-2011 09:19:18 - Last edited on 23-Jul-2011 09:24:47 by 97swiftarm

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