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RS Story Contest #4 - Survivor

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Borna Coric

Borna Coric

Posts: 3,785 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Thank you everyone for a great round. L-U-T-O and Raschilat have been eliminated. I will be posting the interesting details to the third round very soon. Now, for the results to the twist. I have to thank all of you for your entries in pursuit of entrance to the contest. First, I will post a little feedback on the existing contestants’ stories:


Wintry Elf: I am going to come out straight away by saying that this is my favourite entry. Your description is exquisite, and fits the perfect view of what I have in my mind. They you use sophisticated language before melding into the simplistic final line for maximum impact is expertly done. The final line is also a complete change of tone, which is hard to achieve even in a few posts. Really, very well done for such a short story.

L-U-T-O: I really liked your concept relating back to the idea of Spirit Trees, but there are a few points that I think you could work on for a 50 word story. Description like “fertile dirt” is probably not contributing a whole lot to the idea of your story, as it doesn’t support your main concept. I’d avoid it to get the biggest response, but the agony you show through the “prickly thorns” is great. I liked the rhetorical question as a final line; it really keeps me thinking.

The Level: The perception of nature that you develop in your story is great, but as a personal preference I would have liked to have seen more succinct and concise sentences, rather than drawing them out over the entire duration of the story. This is really the only thing I could pick up on, but it is very well done in regards to the final, short sentence, to, again, leave the biggest impact. The struggle of the man is perfectly captured, and the enigmatic view of the ocean through the entirety of the story is really well done, so great work.

27-Jun-2011 12:29:24

Borna Coric

Borna Coric

Posts: 3,785 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Now, for those of you who are competing for a spot in Round Three:


Polymath: This was another of my favourite entries. I really like this type of format for 50 word stories; a short opening and closing line. “I am a tree” perfectly captures the whole idea of the story, and leading into the final line to reveal the concept of summarises the entry in two sentences. The filling in the middle of these two is great build-up, so really well done. Yours was one of the more thought-provoking stories about nature.

Aeraie: This was a tricky one to review and give feedback on. First up, I will say that I did*’t particularly like the use of alliteration through your story. I really appreciate the application of a technique, setting you apart, but I feel you sacrificed some sentences to its use, as well as word count. Some lines like “slowly slithers slyly” are slightly awkward as well. However, the twist at the end to correlate the fact that you are the storm is...fantastic. This stance on nature, personifying it perfectly to qualities we all understand, is really well done.

Suntanman 3: Wow, a really thorough and interesting take on nature. Just before I forget, I want to question the use of cacophony after describing everything as sweet. Cacophony, meaning a collection of shrill or dissonant sounds, doesn’t fit here. Apart from that, I enjoyed the way you related nature back to music. It really fits with what most of us perceive nature and music to be, and I could picture someone walking through a forest as their surroundings sang. Nice work.

27-Jun-2011 12:29:38

Borna Coric

Borna Coric

Posts: 3,785 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Lokintr: The application of poetry was great in this challenge, but I think a very one-sided stance on nature would have been better for the word limit. While your descriptive nature of nature (see what I did there?) is fantastic, some type of statement about the topic, or twist, would have finished this off. Apart from that, you did a great job for the small word limit, and thank you for trying a poem.

Ogdred: This was another of my favourite entries. The whole story, revolving around symbolism, was really cleverly done and, overall, fantastic. The way you divide the sentences into a certain structure helps slow down the pace and allow thinking time for the reader as you slowly introduce more substance into the story. The statement about society is expertly introduced into the entry, and continues a thought provoking process. Great work.

Nguy4: Your description in this is exquisite, and perfect for the type of response you want from this story. The personification throughout, with the direct references to the Sun, is done with great transition and also implements the structure I find most fitting for 50 word stories. You had another seventeen words to use, however, which I believe could have progressed the concept of your story a lot further. However, this was a really poetic entry, so good work. It fits with the theme.

27-Jun-2011 12:29:50

Borna Coric

Borna Coric

Posts: 3,785 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Okay, now I have to decide on a winner. To better decide, I have narrowed it down to the best three entries:

- Polymath
- Ogdred
- Nguy4

From these three, I had to find a winner. All of you had good and bad aspects of your story, but the person I have chosen as the winner, to gain entrance to Round Three of the contest, had the best interpretation for this challenge. They also implemented this interpretation in a flowing manner. That person is Ogdred.

Congratulations, Ogdred! You have won the first twist challenge of this contest, and as such, get to now participate in Round Three. Thank you to everyone for participating; it was really close. Details will be further posted momentarily. Well done.

27-Jun-2011 12:29:59

Borna Coric

Borna Coric

Posts: 3,785 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Alrighty, that's that done. The Hidden Immunity will be given to someone else at a later stage. Thank you to both Luto and Scout for participating, as well as the others who entered the twist round. Congratulations to Ogdred.

As I said, details will be up soon on Round Three.

27-Jun-2011 12:31:12

Borna Coric

Borna Coric

Posts: 3,785 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Before I forget...

The Final Vote Count:
Xanthian93: 2
Raschilat: 2
Nyyrikki V: 1
Paccy IV: 2
(c)L-U-T-O: 3


Third Challenge has been posted.

Congratulations to all surviving contestants! As the Top 10, seven of you will become members of the Authors, three of you will become finalists and one of you will become the winner of RuneScape Story Contest #4 - Survivor! Keep it up.

27-Jun-2011 13:23:44 - Last edited on 27-Jun-2011 13:28:08 by Borna Coric

Suntanman6

Suntanman6

Posts: 100 Iron Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
since you questioned it and i'm a man of answers, here's my reason for the use of the word cacophony.

At first the sounds are all heard at once and don't make sense together, but then the surrounding noise starts to make sense and takes the shape of a symphony.

hope this clears it up and thank you for the feedback.

,./*suntanman*\.,

27-Jun-2011 14:21:54 - Last edited on 27-Jun-2011 14:24:16 by Suntanman6

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