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::The Emotion Anthology::

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Beep282

Beep282

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I was just surfing through this thread again, re-reading some of the stories. I gotta say Aeraie, your story, Horror scared the crap out of me... A vivid imagination can be a curse sometimes I guess... XD

10-Jul-2012 07:00:41 - Last edited on 10-Jul-2012 07:01:01 by Beep282

Sol LongClaw

Sol LongClaw

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LOSS - Sol LongClaw
Marcoh fled across the dirty gold beach, tears escaping his eyes copiously, snow dusted sand crunching under his feet. He heard the bells from behind the frosted hill, ringing out to find him, to let them take him.
"I won't let them get us!" He cried, clasping a small urn in his hands. Marcoh's foot entered the icy waters of River Lonse, And he gave a hiss of pain, but he ignored it, and allowed his other foot to enter the waters.
Marcoh glanced over his scarred shoulder, to see a group of men on the hill, pointing at him, and pursuing incessantly.
"Why won't they leave us alone?!" He screamed, looking at the urn. Marcoh desperately began to wade across the waters, batting the water out of the way with his free hand.
A bolt shot past his ear, landing in the water. Marcoh cried out, increasing his speed, the distant shore trudging forwards to meet him. He hugged the urn close, and jumped forwards, trying to make some avail through the waters.
Fish fled from him, terrified, as he brutishly punched at the water, trying to make it let him through. He hadn't got any time. His heart burned with terror, as the men descended the slope behind him, accompanied by a sequence of bolts flying at Marcoh, barely missing him and piercing the water viciously.
Marcoh's leg had been bleeding horribly, and only until now had he realised it, as the cloud of blood tainted the water. He held the urn close to his chest, moaning in agony.
"I'm so sorry Julia!" He moaned, his voice weak and wavering, peppered with sobs.
Marcoh turned around to face his pursuers, and a bolt planted itself into the urn's chest. Cursing, Marcoh screamed. "Julia!" He hollered, clasping the run to his chest like a child.
Marcoh tripped on a root, sticking out at the bottom of the lake, leadign back to a snow arrayed willow tree perched on an island in the centre of the river.
As he tripped, the urn fell form his grasp, the lid bursting from it, and a cloud of ash leapt onto the lake.

11-Jul-2012 21:44:25 - Last edited on 11-Jul-2012 22:25:54 by Sol LongClaw

Sol LongClaw

Sol LongClaw

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I honestly think it's fine as it is. I did think it up within a mintue, to let you know. And, really I just made it to honour an idea that broke my heart. I really think it was beautiful, yet heart breaking at the same time.
Read it while listening to: Smith And Burrows-When The Thames Froze Over, or Editors-Well Worn Hand, and you'll see why. But I guess I will try to make it a tad longer.
--
The cloud fell onto the lake, and Marcoh desperately grasped for it, swiping through air helplessly. As it landed, the tide viciously swept away the ash, leaving Marcoh frozen in the middle of the lake, reaching out, as though reaching for a ghost.
Wiping tears from his eyes, Marcoh ran after the ash, as the group of men shot at him from the riverside.
Marcoh followed it for as long as he could, until it faded into the horizon. Stopping, He bent over double, sobbing horribly.
"Julia!!" He wailed, and fell face first into the icy waters, and allowed his weak body to take the same ill-fated path.
The next day, the River Lonse was frozen over, young children skating across it, and enjoying themselves, unbeknownst of what happened just a day earlier.

----Finis

11-Jul-2012 22:00:32 - Last edited on 11-Jul-2012 22:29:38 by Sol LongClaw

Aeraie

Aeraie

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I like the concept around the story, but when I originally created this thread/idea, I had a minimum requirement of three posts. Two entries don't make the requirement because I was desperate at the time for those emotions -- right now I'm looking for longer work. I definitely think you could build up the emotional attachment to the characters -- perhaps flashbacks?

12-Jul-2012 07:35:58

Areno3

Areno3

Posts: 12,906 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Yeah, I just read your horror story too, Aeraie. I'm a sucker for a good terror story, and that was pretty damn good. It didn't make me scared, but it made me think, "Oh ****!" Lol. Nice job. ;)
Makes me want to write a horror.

12-Jul-2012 14:43:36

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