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Dredigan

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He had Kyle put a plain black cloak over his shoulders and buckle it together at the neck signifying his allegiance to the rebellion, or what was left of it. They had chosen a plain black banner because Merlon had apparantly once said "If white means surrender, black means the opposite." and Valtir liked that reasoning.
When they were all finished he walked back to the stables to find his horse and pulled Ember out of the saddlebag. He buckled on the sword belt and then lead his horse out. He mounted her and rode through the morning fog to the palisade gate, the chill was eating at him even through his plate, chain, and cloth. When he found Raylov and Irve waiting at the gate he laughed at the sight of Raylov looking like he was going to freeze to death, that was odd for a dwarf.
"Valtir." Raylov said. "We're waiting for Borthi, quickly what can you tell me of Rob?" He asked.
Valtir's heart felt a little heavier than normal as he remembered what he saw. "Raylov. There is much I must tell you..." Valtir said, shifting uncomfortably in his saddle. "Rob had sent me to liberate Iverst but upon my return" he paused. "'The Lorik' is gone. Yorlede has taken it." Valtir explained sadly.
"What of Iverst?" Irve asked. Valtir only shook his head.
"We can only hope Rob has made it out..." Raylov began, then a horn blew. The trio moved their horses away from the gates and as they opened they saw only one figure, riding on a brown mare up to the palisade wrapped in a grey cloak so Valtir could not tell who it was. When the figure trotted through the gates Valtir knew it was a woman. She pulled down her hood and Valtir recognized Aveline instantly. "Ave!" He shouted trotting over to her, he dismounted his horse to help her off of her's. "You're alive! The gods are good you're alive!" He shouted happily as he hugged her.

01-Jul-2012 04:26:47 - Last edited on 01-Jul-2012 19:33:28 by Dredigan

Dredigan

Posts: 1,549 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

He noticed that after having a hood over her face for so long her tan was gone, replaced by pale white skin. "Valtir! We thought you dead." Aveline said hugging him close to her. "The time for fun is later though." She said. "I bring news..." "Of Rob, and 'The Lorik'... We know." Valtir finished for her. Valtir couldn't believe it. Despite the terrible news of Rob, Merlon, The Lorik, and everything else, Aveline was alive and well, the gods were good.
"My lady, you should rest. Go take refuge in the town inn, I shall return for you this evening when we're done. There is much I must tell you." Valtir said. He beckoned someone over to take her horse to the stables for her. Then he re-mounted his own horse and nodded once to Aveline, too overcome with excitement to say anything else. The moment Borthi rode up to them he didn't even wait for his excuse for being late he trotted out the gates yelling for them to follow. He was so eager to get this done and get back to Aveline.
On their way to the standing stones he calmed himself and set his mind to the task at hand, explaining everything he'd learned to Raylov. From the Draugr's, to 'The Lorik' to the dragon scales in Ember and what they could do. Raylov just sat listening to everything he explained until they reached the standing stones.
four huge stone thrice as tall as Valtir was, engravings and pictures carved into all of them. They stood in a square, leaning inward so that all of them touched at the top. They all dismounted, trusting their horses not to leave. They walked into the standing stones, standing beneath the huge structures all three put their back to one of the stones; Valtir chose the one closest to the horses.
Even under the stones the wind bit at them, Irve's cloak was flapping wildly and his leather and furs didn't seem to be keeping him very warm, Valtir could see that from his body language. Borthi and Raylov didn't appear to be doing much better. Valtir himself was sure his beard had frozen.

01-Jul-2012 19:47:59

Dredigan

Posts: 1,549 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Valtir couldn't feel the stone through his armor but looking at Borthi's face when he touched it he could tell it must have been cold as well. Irve opened the discussion by saying "Ser Borthi, Ser Raylov, and Ser Valtir. We've come here to decide upon a new leader. Merlon, Rob, and however many others who died must be avenged." Valtir nodded. "We will hear all opinions before making a decision." Irve finished. Valtir came out and said, "Me." He didn't want to lead but he was the only true knight left here, Irve was a hedge knight but that was different. He knew more about the Draugr's than anyone and when they attacked next they would want him to be commanding them.
Valtir was also the only one with any inside experience on how the royal army worked and fought. He knew their tactics and had met and worked with their leaders. He even knighted one of them himself. "Why do you think you should lead?" Irve said sounding surprised. Valtir explained all of those things to him, when he finished Irve asked: "I still don't understand what a Draugr is." and Valtir explained that to him as well.
"They are monsters, taller than any man I've ever seen. They don't wear armor and they cannot be stopped by any conventional means. You need a weapon like this." He said and he pulled out Ember, brandishing it to them. "Nothing can kill them save for what is in these blades." Valtir finished.
After an hour or so of pointless arguing they came to a conclusion that Valtir liked much better. Irve would lead them, tell them where to go, and Valtir would be in charge of who got sent, how they fought the battles, and anything else to do with beating the enemies. Now Valtir wouldn't personally have to fight which made him almost as happy as going back to see Aveline.

01-Jul-2012 20:00:38

Dredigan

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The ride back was as unforgiving as the ride there. The wind struck icy blades through them, their armor or furs did naught to fight it. They didn't have hills or anything to help shield them either, just straight plains until they reached the village again. Dusk had settled when they re-entered the village through the palisade gate that they'd ordered be left open. When they got in Irve started announcing their decisions but Valtir made straight for the inn. He saw Kyle walking and stopped his horse, dismounting he ordered him to stable his horse for him. He ran through the snow, feeling his blood heat up and block out the cold. When he found the inn door he slowed and entered courteously.
===============================================================
The next three boxes can be ignored, they are not part of the story.

01-Jul-2012 20:09:28 - Last edited on 02-Jul-2012 01:07:32 by Dredigan

Azigarath

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I've lost patience, so I will post this without waiting for you to finish your story. I'll start with my original reply,
"Chainmail is in no way heavier than platemail"
Chainmail is indeed heavier that plate. I have two maille shirts in my home. One weighs thirty pounds, and the other weighs almost fifty pounds. A breastplate with attached backplate and pauldrons weighs barely over ten pounds. I have replica Medieval armour and weapons in my home, so not only do I make my points from what I read but from what I have in my hands. Having worn plate armour and maille, I will stand that maille is heavier than plate, especially splint mail. Simply put, chainmail is not light; it is one of the heaviest armours ever made.
Another example are my maille mittens; they weigh exactly two pounds, but I also have plate gauntlets, and they weight 1 pound and 25 oz..
The best suits of plate armour weighed only sixty pounds; plate armour was made to be very light and very durable. In fact, the best plate armour was barely 2 millimetres thick; Italian smiths made armour that was musket proof that was very light. It is a modern misconception that chainmail is light armour; it is not light at all. Have you ever worn medieval armour yourself? Can you give me an example that proves that plate is heavier than maille? You see, there is more metal per square inch on maille than plate.
"By blocking I meant parrying"
OK, this makes perfect sense, but the idea was to kill or incapacitate your opponent, not to get into swordplay with him. Realistically, most confrontations amongst knights and men-at-arms during battle heated up to wrestling, and a dagger was often the killing tool. There were daggers designed to puncture through plate armour, too.

01-Jul-2012 23:29:20

Azigarath

Posts: 9,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

I was certainly not suggesting that you stole Delnaz's map idea, since the way of making a legend to display is limited due to the way the forum is. I was pointing out the coincidental similarities of locations, as I have seen similar design on a few other peoples' maps.
And don't worry about me posting seemingly too early, I can always reread your story after you have made the corrections; there is no race, you are allowed to take your time. If you prefer, you can always make numerous 'reserve posts' so that you can edit them later to post the story (for example, make one hundred reserves). Moreover, how many people are actually posting on this thread? No one is going to hate your story because more than one person is posting on it.
"Hey thanks for letting me in and I wanted to say a few things. First off, thank you to Rain for not being completely negative toward me like some other reviews I've gotten only focusing on the issues. Im happy to be in this guild and I realize the first part of the story I took my sample from is severely flawed, I'm doing the second half much better and differently. Also I want to apologize to Delnaz because I was accused of copying your map idea but I'd never even read your story to see it, but still sorry. And thanks for letting me in."
I will assume this was directed to me. You have only gotten one review, it doesn't make sense to think that I am plural. I have mentioned how I loved a few things, and then made it clear that you were allowed to disregard anything in the feedback; you made yourself look like what you are talking about. Keep in mind that I read your entire story as well as well as the first one; Aer reviewed five posts, and I have made clear to you everything Aer has said. And my feedback and commentary is not a review; feedback, commentary, critiquing and reviewing are all different executions with different meanings.

01-Jul-2012 23:29:39

Azigarath

Posts: 9,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Note that there is nothing flawed about your story; that's the mechanics, but the story itself is close to brilliant.
Onto the next, you mention that you were accused, though "similar" and "accusation" are different words with different meanings. Where did you get the idea that I was accusing your story? That comes from you, not me, so do not utilize falsehood to talk behind peoples' backs; if you have an issue, discuss it to the person instead of escalating it on another thread. And as the others pointed out, maps have been around for a long time. I recall in 2003 similar images were used, and I have noticed that the setting and happenings of a story often go in a circular motion and then into an "8". Congrats on joining the guild, though they let anyone in who has posted a story.
"Okay, thanks for all the nice stuff you guys say haha I only get negative things from my brother and what not so I never know if I've actually done something well."
Most of my family have not done much good to me either, but they are getting better. If it's nice things you want to hear, you should mention on the first post of your thread specifically so. I would have gladly fed you a spoonful of cake.
In the future, be sure to understand what is being said rather than assuming things your own way. There really is no reason why you should rely on falsehood and avoidance to gain satisfaction.
With all that said, I have read the rest of your story, but I will not comment on any of it because there seems to be a problem with communication. I wish everyone well, but if you would like to continue to demonize me, you are welcome to do that.

01-Jul-2012 23:29:58

Dredigan

Posts: 1,549 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Story continues below
===============================================================
Aveline was sitting in the corner talking to one of the serving wenches. Valtir had to wade through the crowd of people to reach her, when the wench saw him she left without a word. Valtir sat down across from her and smiled, still happy that she was here. He didn't really know what to say to her, where to begin; he had so many things to tell her but... How to start? "We all thought you'd died. Back in 'The Lorik'." Aveline said when she saw his speechlessness on his face. He didn't respond to that, instead he said "Your belly looks full to bursting... How long now?"
"Not a month if it comes when I expect it." She said back. Valtir could tell from her voice that she wasn't as happy as he is.
Her husband just died you fool, Valtir thought feeling stupid. "I know it hurts. About Rob and everyone there. I'll protect you my lady, I was Robyk's sworn sword, with his death my duty shall pass to you." Valtir said, trying to give her comfort. He was nothing if not willing to give his life for her protection, she'd been mixed up in Rob's war and it wasn't her fault either. She needed someone there for her. "Thank you my knight." she said to him.
"My lady. We should get somewhere else. This is the new seat of the rebellion, if the royal army attacks then I doubt we can hold it right now and I... You need to be safe." He explained.
What am I saying? I don't know where to take her, he thought to himself, but persisted anyway knowing he was right. "Where would we go ser?" she asked.
"I think I may have a place..." he said, the thought just came to him and maybe it would work.

02-Jul-2012 01:06:23 - Last edited on 02-Jul-2012 01:48:02 by Dredigan

Dredigan

Posts: 1,549 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

===============================================================
Chapter seven: Raylov
Four days ago they'd made Irve leader of the rebellion. Irve was honorable no doubt, but Raylov thought he would flee from decisions requiring he question that honor. It made no matter; Irve was the leader now and Raylov had to follow orders.
He was to go to Ysmora. A place he never wanted to see but Irve thought they could use a fortress of a city rather than a village with naught but a broken, beaten, wooden palisade for protection. The fight seemed a bit pointless now, two of the six leaders were dead and only about a thousand men remained. They could probably get the villagers to fight if it came to it but why were they fighting if not to keep those who don't volunteer out of harm's way?
Either way he didn't care, all he wanted to do was fight King Roham. The day he was meant to leave he gathered his ten scouts and mounted them, but as they walked through the town to reach the gate a horn blew, one time only. Raylov ordered his men to halt and he watched a lone rider come through the gates carrying a black standard. "I have news! Great news!" the man kept repeating as he ran through the gates.
"King Roham lies dead!" the man yelled, his horse galloping through the village. Raylov heard him yelling for a good few minutes before one of his scouts said "Does this mean we've won?" but Raylov shook his head slowly and looked at him. "No. It took someone more powerful than him to kill him, and now he's taken his place." he said putting his heels into his horse and trotting toward the gate.
Raylov was indeed happy about the death of Aenis Roham. That's two kings this year, Luthor and Aenis, he thought.

02-Jul-2012 02:26:25

Dredigan

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They were all at least ten yards away from the gates before they closed. Raylov led his men north for about five leagues; then turned west, he wanted to ride around the Lorik rather than trek through it and add more time to the journey. There weren't a lot of structures this way to take shelter in, and the rain had picked up again. Raylov knew of certain places though. They wouldn't be far from the bottom edges of 'The Frost', he could lead his men through those mountains and take refuge in caves once in a while.
Ysmora wouldn't be far once they passed it though so he wasn't afraid to go ahead and lengthen his trip by a day or two, nothing major. Once he was close enough he made his men pitch tents to keep the rain off of them and sent a group of four scouts into the mountains to find passes and shelter. He himself waited in the camp under a wide tent with a fire burning in the center to keep him warm.
He was sitting on a stool reading out of a book he'd found about the Draugr's Valtir mentioned when Donyl entered. "Sir, I know it's not my place to question you but may I?" he asked.
"You wish to know why we're going to Ysmora?" Raylov asked him.
"Yes sir... It seems to me that if we hold up in a fortress they can put us under siege but a village can be evacuated. Is there truth to this?" Donyl asked him. Raylov often forgot that many of his men were not military men, they were simple peasants.
"No." Raylov said. "A fortress can be defended. When I was young, living in 'The Frost' with the other Dwarves my father told me stories of Ysmora. He said that the fortress there could be held by a hundred men against a thousand for days if they had enough food." Raylov was proud that he sounded so intelligent right now.
"I see. So we're going to turn the place around then? Get it up and running?" Donyl asked.
Why does he ask so many questions? You'd think he'd be dressing in fool's motley instead of archer's leather all the time. "That's the plan." Raylov said to him.

02-Jul-2012 02:42:20

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