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Dredigan

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Not long after Donyl left Raylov stepped out into the rain. He loved the rain, he loved the smell it left on the grass and the way the clouds looked. And that it would make things seem so serene, the tapping it would make against surfaces soothed him, often until he fell asleep.
He'd just turned to go back inside when he saw his scouts returning from the north. One of them approached him while the others went to their tents. The poor scout was wearing a boiled leather cuirass with cloth leggings that did nothing to fight the rain off. He was drenched from head to toe as if he'd just swam the lake Lorik.
"There is a pass not a league north, it leads into a nice little valley with plenty of caves." he said as he walked up.
"That's good news, get inside before you catch a fever." Raylov replied. They stepped into his tent together and the scout knelt down by the fire to warm his hands up, Raylov had just noticed that the boy was shivering. "So a valley?" Raylov asked pouring the scout some wine.
"Indeed, it's full of caves big enough to fit all of us, and fine lake to offer some fresh water and fish if you need." the scout said, taking the wine.
"I think you should put your men there, send some scouts ahead to find Ysmora for you. No sense taking everyone to find the place is already inhabited." the scout said, then he downed his wine.
"I suppose you'll want to go?" Raylov asked him.
"I would." the scout said. There was some kind of cocky confidence about the way he spoke that reminded Raylov of Borthi.
"Very well. I like your plan, on the morrow you will take us to this valley then choose your men and be off." Raylov agreed with him about not sending everyone, what if the place was inhabited by barbarians? Or the Draugrs were still there?
The next day the rain was still relentless but they rode through it all the same. Raylov followed the scout who he'd spoken with through a narrow stretch of plains, the mountains looming above like some army of giants.

02-Jul-2012 02:53:20

Dredigan

Posts: 1,549 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

They found the pass after a good hour, but it was very narrow. They all had to dismount and walk single file through it, each man leading his own horse behind him. Once they were through it Raylov took the lead. He rode through the valley with his men trailing behind, the icy breath of 'The Frost' was burning his eyes as much as the rain, and the air was so cold it stung his nose as he breathed it in. He rode through some grass that was barely showing beneath snow until he reached the crystalline lake that dominated the heart of the valley.
He dismounted and knelt next to it. His reflection was worse than he thought, he had desperately needed to bathe and he was glad that his men had found this valley, someone had neglected to tell him that they had no more water with them than each man had in his drinking skin until yesterday. He slid off his gloves and put his hands under the water, bringing up a scoop of water. He sipped it and as the water touched his teeth it felt violently cold but he loved it, and when he swallowed it was so cold it burned his throat.
"Alright! Fill your skins and mount up, we ride in two minutes." Raylov commanded, and two minutes later they rode. He kept eyes out for a large enough cave and soon found one that was sufficient to house twice his party. They all rode in and dismounted, and started laying down bedrolls. After a while the fires were burning illuminating the cave and Raylov was seeing off his scouts to find Ysmora.
After sitting for a while in his cave with nothing to do but wait and think, he started considering the events of the past few months. The oldest city in the realm was destroyed, a rebellion began, two kings have died, Robyk had died... Irve had become a leader, he himself had become a rebel, and Valtir, this knight he'd never met told him of these mythical beasts that can only be killed by dragon scales. And their army of rebels had become a motley crew. Regardless of what Irve said he was naught but an outlaw.

02-Jul-2012 03:29:48

Dredigan

Posts: 1,549 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

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I know the ending was disappointing, it truly was not how I wanted to end it but when I got further into the story I realized that the outlaw wouldn't make it to where I wanted it to without getting too long. And if I didn't end it where I did it would be quite a while before I found somewhere else to end it. I'm going to work on another sequel that will end this story. (Hopefully.)

02-Jul-2012 03:35:20

Azigarath

Posts: 9,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Why didn't I wait another day before posting? I should have been patient, though patience does not seem to be a trait I practise.
Since the story is finished, and I have noticed your posts on TNG, I'd like to thank-you for taking the time to honestly clarify further; it was wrong of me to unflaggingly assume testimony while overlooking accord.
I have finished reading the story, and I'd like to mention that the ending is not disappointing; the fall signals a rise. The story consistently keeps its adventurous, dangerous and sometimes foolhardy atmosphere, and for that you are developing the reality that life is not easy. For example, you describe that there is a shortage of water, and essential resources are lacking in many stories out there, in the forum and in real-life. Your story has much more literary realism than a lot of moves in today's world.
Reflecting about the story, as well as your first, the Fall of Ysmora, I feel that one important theme in your work is that life isn't always fair; it takes away what you love, and sometimes there is nothing you can do about it.
As for my points of Medieval combat, you are correct that most peasants would avoid infighting. But, as mentioned way back, I would recommend looking at the series Conquest, Warriors and/or Weapons that Made Britain, for the series are on YouTube. Having visual experience will help you to create fully fleshed action.
I have noticed a third thread, so I'll be sure to check it out. Of course, I will not post anything to interrupt the sequence of posts, but as a reminder, you are free to post numerous "reserve posts" so that you can edit them and fill-in with the story. This will assure that no-one's posts will interfere with the posting of the story.
I congradulate you for making a story that is about ninety posts in length; that in itself is an achievement to be proud of. The later third of your story shows much improvement, and you'll make much more quickly.

03-Jul-2012 00:49:22 - Last edited on 03-Jul-2012 00:50:35 by Azigarath