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_.>~*~>Elite Noob<~*~<._
Quick find code: 49-50-118-32846597
04-Oct-2007 03:59:01 - Last edited on 04-Oct-2007 03:59:11 by [#C3FW206YM]
Yay! I'm here! To review!
Page 1 is fine.
Page 2:
"Elite Noob: AUGH! Its a vacum cleaner in denial!"
Hysterical
"Elite Noob: Just a minute there pal! The last time I opened a door, I had holes in my head!
Door: (shoot! he figured that trick out!) I assure you I will not induce your sponge-like head full of holes."
Yikes, okay...
change 'had' to 'got'
change 'induce' to 'cause', then ad 'to be' after 'sponge-like'
~
rbie
Page 1 is fine.
Page 2:
"Elite Noob: AUGH! Its a vacum cleaner in denial!"
Hysterical
"Elite Noob: Just a minute there pal! The last time I opened a door, I had holes in my head!
Door: (shoot! he figured that trick out!) I assure you I will not induce your sponge-like head full of holes."
Yikes, okay...
change 'had' to 'got'
change 'induce' to 'cause', then ad 'to be' after 'sponge-like'
~
rbie
Lorehound
through and through.
06-Oct-2007 20:35:52 - Last edited on 06-Oct-2007 20:48:16 by Orbestro
Quick find code: 49-50-118-32846597 Back to Top