Mb's review
Spelling: 30/30
Grammar: 30/30
Plot: 45/50
Flow: 43/45
Characters: 35/45
Literary Review: Here I will put everything above into words and tell you how to improve.
Your spelling and grammar were perfect, as far as I can see. No mistakes there.
I gave you 45/50 on the plot, because I think that you made all Zamorak's minions a *little* too powerful, especially your character that controls ice. He seems to be able to use this power with impunity, without getting even slightly tired.
Flow: It flowed pretty well. The only objection that I have is that I think the scene at Relekka (At the beggining of the story) happens a little too quickly. Mostly, good job there.
I took away ten points from your Character score because I couldn't really picture all these people. I mean, I could see them fighting, in my mind's but their bodies were ... kind of...white. Do you know what I mean?
So all in all, you got a pretty good review, the second best on this thread. Good job!
You got 183/200, or 91.5/100. This goes into the Hall of Fame.
20-Jul-2007 06:56:46
- Last edited on
21-Jul-2007 02:24:17
by
Valoncieu
:)
