The entire story was interesting to read through, asides from one point that left me bothered. The beginning lore about the three families of north-eastern Kandarin doesn't make any sense, etymologically speaking. Catherby was most likely not named after a noble family who ruled over it, nor would it make any sense for there to be a family called "Sotherby". Catherby's "-by" is derived from the Old Norse, which translates as "settlement" or "village" ("Cather" doesn't seem to translate into anything but mimics the structure of various English placenames), meaning that Catherby is supposed to strictly be a toponym, nor a surname, meaning the same would apply to Sotherby. I'd advice you to look for another possible name for the two other families, although I don't think there are no other important noble families in Northern Kandarin asides the Sinclairs: after all, there's nothing in Catherby that'd imply it is anything more than a common village: no mansion, no large house for a noble, nothing. Of course, these details aren't really pivotal for your story, they're just some text made to elaborate on Thormac's origins.
Asides that, I'm really interested about the nature of the various spirits present in the story. Some of the gods, such as Seren and Guthix, as well as vampyres and demons are referred to as spirits, while the identity of various other spirits (the serpent spirit, the Black Knight spirit, the dragon spirit of Kathekontos, the earthen giant, the dark spirit and the native spirits of the Moors, spirits of the Forinthryn gorge, spirit of the crystal, the spirit of the seer, the spirit who fought Ikov in Guthix's chamber, the two spirits of the Circleblade Bog, the Dagannoth spirit and the spirit who led Ikov to skavids) are left vague. Do you think you could elaborate on the nature of the various other spirits present in the story? What are they supposed to be?
30-Nov-2015 10:07:09