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In time, you might come to see my choice to die as a selfish act, but i am decided. I have prepared for this for centuries, ever since you visited me and i became away of my fate. But if the mortals are not ready now, they never shall be. Maintaining the edicts has taken too much of a toll, and i cannot stall things forever. I am so very tired. I will leave you with a fighting chance, a glimmer of hope but you will have to find your own way, world guardian. Use the power i shall bestow upon you, the knowledge in these caches and the guidance of my guardians. If you should fail, then atleast the afterlife should welcome the fallen for a time, until that too fails

When i see you at my end, i shall tell you i wish to be with my wife and daughter in death. However, the truth is that i gave up my right to that a long time ago - unwittingly, but unequivocally. And though i know i shall never see my Aagi or Fraji again, i have lived long enough without them. In this place, i shall leave my strongest memories of them. Perhaps they too can help you in some way. I have knowingly left you with a great burden, world guardian. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me

I loved her, even though i knew it was a lie. Not real love. Not the love i felt for Fraji. But love all the same. Is it wrong to have latched onto that? To that strange power she possessed? Not to fight it, but to know it for what it is and accept it all the same? An illusion of connection. A facsimile of my heart in exchange for all of hers? Because i know she loved me. Genuine, true, beautiful love. The love that only the eternal can know, a love that spanned the rise and fall of empires. A beautiful lie. But i liked the lie. It was better than the loneliness of the truth and, really, could i ever find something better? So i lied to her. I kept lying to her. For centuries i whispered sweet promises i never really meant and spoke of eternities together, even though i knew our time was finite. Then the time came when i had to cast them all out and on that day i was grateful that it was a lie. It let me turn cold to her suffering, turn away from her misery. I cast her out and thought that would be the end of it. She chose another option. A way to be with all the people she loved, even me. It really was a beautiful lie

I am sorry Juna, i have lied to you. I have been your idol, your god, your father. But i am the reason you are alone. It was a choice you see. It had to be one world or another and i chose the other world. Numbers, pure numbers. There were more of them than there were of you. As cold a reason for genocide as any other. So, i placed the lure on your world, a fountain of delicious anima for the blind beast to sniff out. She destroyed your world, but it was my fault. Another world lived because of that sacrifice, cold comfort though that may be. I wanted to save more of you. So i grabbed two eggs, you and your sister. I thought that perhaps if i could save a family it would be my absolution. I would have saved more, but the beast was on your world so fast, faster than i had dared think possible

So i saved you and your sister, two eggs. The last of their kind, i thought i could save you. I thought all you needed was me to look after you, but only you hatched. Only your egg survived. I couldn't bare the shame of you knowing, so i hid your sister. Buried her lifeless eff where no one will ever find it. And i never told you about her. Each time we meet i yearn to ask for your forgiveness. But then i see the look in your eyes. I see the standard to which you hold me. The hope, the faith, the love you have for me and my courage crumbles. I am so proud of you Juna. You are like a daughter to me, i hope you know that. And if you find this message, i pray that one day you can forgive me

Enough! My intention to be forgotten is futile if other gods fill the void in the hearts of mortals. This is not the fault of gods, but the folly of mortals to be meek and unquestioning. While i spend all my will stalling the inevitable end of mortality, while i waste my time protecting them from inevitable destruction, they instead dash their own lives on the alter of worship. Such futility, it must stop! Mortal life if brief enough as is. It should not be wasted in servitude to power, in worship of false idols, in the hopes of a reward beyond death. When will they learn that life itself is the reward? It should be treated as such, spent in joy and discovery, in time with loved ones, in the betterment of self

The petty tribal rivalries of so called gods are nothing but a distraction, and one i must try to remove. I shall evict the gods and their influence from this world, even though maintaining a barrier to keep them out will split my focus. As a result, i shall not be able to delay the inevitable for anywhere near as long as i had hoped. The elders will wake anew. But better for mortals to realise their end is nigh and start living their lived for it themselves, than me mollycoddling them and gifting them limitless time in which to act as sheep. They are blinded to this truth by their own folly. If allowing their end to come sooner will force them to open their eyes, then so be it

How do you choose who to sacrifice? The caching of my knowledge is a task of great importance to the future survival of existence. But the being i select to fulfill this task is doomed. I know they must sacrifice all to complete the work - their humanity, their will, their peace beyond death. I know already when and how they will fall into oblivion, and yet there is no other way. The forbidden secrets of this universe and beyond must be recorded while i still live, so that they can be metered out only when the time is right

The great revision, the broken needle, the shadow breach. If that knowledge is lost, all things shall end. Not just life, not just the universe, everything. Time and space, life and death. I suppose death is the fairest way to choose. I shall request Harold to deliver the next suitable candidate to me, instead of to the underworld. They will have no choice but to become one of my guardians, and to perform this task for me, for everyone