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LOL Raptor

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Roddy Piper
Jan Member 2011

Roddy Piper

Posts: 13,751 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The shield was a nice touch, maybe that could be replaced by a box of tissues. When we get near Raptor, sad violin music starts playing.

It was a decent run. Every cool character is in danger. I reckon it's best if we don't talk about them anymore. Keep a low profile.

Maybe even put over characters we don't like.

That chick from Livid Farm? I never told anyone, but she is my character's cousin. It was all an act, she was just looking to have produce added to the travelling merchant shop.

I really like Livid Farm! When the servers are offline I often hang out there. IDK what I would do without it.

19-Jul-2023 20:35:53

Roddy Piper
Jan Member 2011

Roddy Piper

Posts: 13,751 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I just realized how bad this actually is. Earlier I blamed myself for Raptor starving to death and being replaced by Mr. Bean.

But it was RODNEY who was responsible for feeding the staff. In a previous episode of Rants, I had high praise for Rodney. A good dude, just keep your distance.

The stolen 5% XP cooking buff? I had enlisted Princess to guard the fort, and she assured me it was a done deal.

To be fair, I would have to now fire both of them. My staff is disappearing, I have supply issues and Darth Vader is here looking for some guy named Skywalker.

I was better off piling logs at the old sawmill! That's all I ever asked for.

19-Jul-2023 23:27:05

Mr Brushie

Mr Brushie

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When I completed the Dead & Buried quest, I kept thinking about that Skyrim audio clip of a woman going "What's wrong? Can't stand the sight of a proud, strong Nord woman?"...

But yeah. I always suspected The Raptor was secretly some other NPC (Evil Dave was my vote).

20-Jul-2023 07:43:14

Tenebri
Jan Member 2015

Tenebri

Posts: 39,133 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Mr Brushie said :
When I completed the Dead & Buried quest, I kept thinking about that Skyrim audio clip of a woman going "What's wrong? Can't stand the sight of a proud, strong Nord woman?"...

But yeah. I always suspected The Raptor was secretly some other NPC (Evil Dave was my vote).


i wasnt thinking evil dave. it didnt really fit his MO, especially he wouldnt be able to get away with it, as he got lots of chores to do!
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20-Jul-2023 09:23:00

Roddy Piper
Jan Member 2011

Roddy Piper

Posts: 13,751 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Raptor is Raptor. RIP Raptor, starved to death between updates. It was probably delayed due to engine work and all engine work is related to telephone users. So ultimately, Alexander Graham Bell is responsible for this sad occurrence.

Now there is a huge problem of this random strange woman Elvira camped out in my fort! I never gave permission. No solicitation. No loitering. These are established rules, there is nothing I can do about it.

Definitely the Queen of Varrock wouldn't be standing there 24/7. First off, she would need to pay taxes. My royalty tax is HUGE. Varrock can just send that directly to my money pouch, I would allow for that convenience.

If they don't respond I will have no choice but to impose a blockade, and cut off all their supplies and trade routes. Cruel, but fair. I have my own kingdoms to worry about, and the optics have fallen off the charts.

People are openly questioning my leadership abilities! Can you even believe it? I was originally just a helper at the sawmill, doing random jobs. It's not my fault!

20-Jul-2023 12:05:56

Roddy Piper
Jan Member 2011

Roddy Piper

Posts: 13,751 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
To be truly fair about this, I have set up a free speech zone. Outside the fort. So if Elvira or anyone else feels a need to protest against Fort Forinthry, I have made the proper accommodations.

A safe zone, fenced in for safety and security purposes. I should point out that tigers are big fans of free speech. An unusual trait for the species. They also have rights.

Meanwhile, I have statues to build, holidays to plan. Nobody ever talks about Raptor's fort but I was there. It's true, there is a natural rainbow and all the strongest monsters come to search for a pot of gold. Nature's trap. It would be a shame to let it go to waste. I'll try to hire a caretaker, maybe a writer who can spend the winter with his family. Nothing could go wrong.

20-Jul-2023 12:31:33

Roddy Piper
Jan Member 2011

Roddy Piper

Posts: 13,751 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I saw this on Reddit, in the non-canon section.

"you know the Raptor's secret identity, and you agree in the quest to keep that secret"

Only problem is none of that happened. When the mask came off it was spacebar mode. I have no interest in what the Queen of Varrock has to say.

There is no agreement. There is no Raptor. The Queen of Varrock is not interesting. Could have been for a minute, but that opportunity is gone too.

I am an expert at dismissing official information, I am a
Michael Myers/ Halloween fan.

They ruined him badly but the drill is familiar by now. The story you see isn't always true. You pick through and take what you can get. 1 cool shot is good enough for me. Next!

24-Jul-2023 13:59:27

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