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zionist anon

zionist anon

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I grew up in a patriarchal society. It is kind of weird that my mother was the person who taught me that I was “equal” yet she’s also the same person who says I should cook food because I’m a girl and worries about my future as a wife. So I’m not sure if I can say it’s a patriarchal family.

I have never believed in gender roles. I have never believed in women staying at home and cooking and husband working. But here’s the way I take it. If one partner is working and the other is staying home, then I can see why the one staying at home can’t cook. However it does not necessarily has to be the “wife” who’s staying home.

The whole idea of gender is confusing to me because I don’t think of men as anyone different except with different reproductive organs.

There’s a lot of pressure for both men and women in a society like mine. Men have to make sure they are earning money and doing a good job. Women have to make sure they cook well and know household activities. But slowly the society is changing. I hope it changes fast.

I don’t see why it’s not normal for a man to cry, for a woman to work, for a man to express his feelings, for a woman to talk back and so on. It’s completely unnecessary. Same souls, same minds, just different organs.

In the past, I feel like the whole gender thing started so that people knew what their work was. I think it was more of assigning work and responsibilities. However, with time, it quickly evolved to discrimination.

These days it’s harder for both men and women. On one side, you see all of these fake feminists who are disrespectful to men and act as if the goal is to feel “superior” to men. On the other hand, you see all of these places where people still discriminate women, look down on them and where women are robbed off of their rights.

If I have any opinion about gender roles, it’s that I believe it shouldn’t exist.

08-Jul-2021 00:00:03

Averia Light

Averia Light

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Parents discuss the "unspoken" rules of society with their children, because despite it being insane and unfair, it obviously still exists and it is a part of parenting to prepare our children for the real world - in other words, not the ideal world that the parent wants.

It is hardly different than me discussing why my daughter should be careful discussing her Native American heritage. It absolutely should not make others uncomfortable to discuss things relevant to both being a woman and a Native, such as why childcare is still a "woman" thing and Thanksgiving related history, but it does and that could equate to less opportunities. Such is the life of living in a structurally discriminating culture. Directing her to the right avenues to change such a prevailing culture while still trying to thrive in the current one is a delicate balance. Or, she can be directed towards institutions that accept that the "rules" are bullshit and can drive change.

All that being said, I am a feminist myself and my daughter is too young to understand what that means, but I absolutely live by and discuss feminist values when I can. I have only had to discuss the "unspoken" rules a few times when her classmates expressed a view that was clearly from her parents (think that guys can't have their ears pierced) and how uncle x is now aunt y and why that may be a problem for person z.

Obviously, parents have different ways of guiding their offspring to both understanding the societal issues and how to handle specific situations where the issues may arise.
And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

08-Jul-2021 03:07:49 - Last edited on 08-Jul-2021 03:16:46 by Averia Light

vonSageworth

vonSageworth

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My Mom taught me how to keep house, wash dishes, cook and do my own laundry so I wouldn't have to depend on a woman to do those things and end up marrying for all the wrong reasons. Many, many years ago, a close friend told me that he was going to ask his girlfriend to marry him that evening. I was a bit surprised since they only met 10 weeks ago and hadn't had very many dates, since she was going to college and in his line of work he worked some very strange hours. I asked him, "Other than love, why do you want to marry her?" His answer was, "I need someone to keep house for me and do my laundry. No man should have to belittle himself by doing woman's work." As the discussion went on, in the back of my mind, it sounded like he wanted a legalized slave woman.

My Dad taught me how to be a man and earn a living, not only for myself, but also for my family if I decided to get married.

Mom taught my sister how to clean house, do the dishes, cook and laundry to she could do these things, not only for herself, but for her family, if she decided to get married.

Dad taught her how to fix things around the house, how to use power tools, change out an electrical switch and receptacle, lay floor tile, etc. so she wouldn't have to depend on a man and marry for all the wrong reasons.

I never married, so all that my Mom taught me was not for naught.

My sister married a man we all thought was heaven sent. He told my sis and the family how much he loves an independent woman. We didn't read between the lines. Six month into the marriage he became abusive towards her. Not only was she to do all the housework, but to do all the repair work around the house, too. Many times the repair work required a licensed professional, which he wasn't willing to pay. It wasn't because they were short of money, he had an excellent job. He wanted to live a lavish lifestyle that my sis wasn't interested in. By the end of the year, they were divorced.
Music is the Heartbeat of the World


Let's flip a coin; heads I win, tails you lose. Fair enough?

08-Jul-2021 10:59:43

Archaeox
Dec Member 2011

Archaeox

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333333333 said :
Yet a new thread! There is only two genders!

No. Sex is defined by biological characteristics (therefore male, female, intersex), while there are many genders (social/identity constructs).

See e.g.
https://www.ons.gov.uk/economy/environmentalaccounts/articles/whatisthedifferencebetweensexandgender/2019-02-21

or
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/232363

or
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_and_gender_distinction
~~~~ Just another victim of the ambient morality ~~~~

~~ Founder of the Caped Carousers quest cape clan ~~

!! Slava Ukraini - heroyam slava !!

08-Jul-2021 11:00:49 - Last edited on 08-Jul-2021 11:02:12 by Archaeox

vonSageworth

vonSageworth

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333333333 said :
Yet a new thread! There is only two genders!


How about doing your homework?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqqaZQI1kI4


Will Witt asks students at UC Berkeley, "How many genders are there?"
Music is the Heartbeat of the World


Let's flip a coin; heads I win, tails you lose. Fair enough?

08-Jul-2021 11:18:55 - Last edited on 08-Jul-2021 11:19:54 by vonSageworth

Averia Light

Averia Light

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vonSageworth said :


My sister married a man we all thought was heaven sent. He told my sis and the family how much he loves an independent woman. We didn't read between the lines. Six month into the marriage he became abusive towards her. Not only was she to do all the housework, but to do all the repair work around the house, too. Many times the repair work required a licensed professional, which he wasn't willing to pay. It wasn't because they were short of money, he had an excellent job. He wanted to live a lavish lifestyle that my sis wasn't intereste


This happens a lot here in the USA. Parents raise women with the intent that they can do whatever they want to do, but that really translated to the idea that women just have to take on more responsibilities since they can do more. In hindsight, we should have addressed all the issues related to why women have a much harder time succeeding as opposed to essentially training and conditioning them to just do more work. We are addressing the "mental load" now, but it is after a few generations of accidentally setting women up to essentially do everything.

The extra ironic thing is that society and a lot of men just expect women to have it all (career, body, perfect house, being a perfect parent, etc... etc...) and then turn around and criticize us when we can't meet these impossible standards.

A practical example that is prevalent is the idea that women should stay at home for 5 years per kid, but somehow still have the perfect career upon re-entry. This completely ignores the idea that the woman lost all career advancement, now has to explain a career gap, and lost 5 years of relevancy/experience that working moms have among other things. A small percentage of women get lucky, but they are the exception (and it is awesome they could). Even the expectation to have kids hurts a woman's career prospects.
And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

08-Jul-2021 11:35:31 - Last edited on 08-Jul-2021 11:36:08 by Averia Light

Averia Light

Averia Light

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That being said, men have their own issues to deal with, but I don't have an intimate knowledge of their struggle because it would really just be a female's version of what men go through if I were to discuss that. In my head, it would be the inverse of "mansplaining". I am aware of the issues and can appreciate them, but all I can do is what men can do for women: acknowledge the struggles, try to address them and work to change it for the better of everyone. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

08-Jul-2021 11:44:29

vonSageworth

vonSageworth

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Men and women have both hormones running through their veins...Estrogen (female) and Testosterone (male). Most boys and girls are taught to reject the opposite hormone, which, in my opinion, is a shame.

I knew a guy in the military whose hobby was designing and making lavish evening gowns. He was the youngest of 5 kids, 4 of whom were girls. His Dad died from a heart attack 2 months before my friend was born. His Mom never remarried, she was kicked to the curb too many times when her Suitors found out she had 5 kids. She made a lot of their clothes, that's how he got interested in sewing. His sisters wore makeup and he seemed to have a flair for it. At one time, he thought he would go to Cosmetology School, but changed his mind when he sold a few of his evening gowns for over $1,000.00.

His job was coordinating military transports. Some days he was very busy, some days work was extremely light. On the light days, he would knit. Yes, everyday he brought his knitting bag with him. He knitted clothing for boys and girls, men and women from infants on up. He knitted a 3 piece suit (jacket, trousers, and vest) for a man. After the customer's friends saw him wearing the suit, my friend got 5 more orders.

If his Mom tried to make a "man" out of him, then he may have never found his niche of happiness.
Music is the Heartbeat of the World


Let's flip a coin; heads I win, tails you lose. Fair enough?

08-Jul-2021 12:50:25 - Last edited on 08-Jul-2021 12:52:41 by vonSageworth

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