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Preparing for death

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Averia Light

Averia Light

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Aeroxmaster said :
You can create insurance policies, fine.

Then there's overstepping the mark.

Let's put it this way: it is not possible to prepare for every single eventuality. If that was the case, then no business would have gone under during the covid pandemic because they would have prepped for that too.

There needs to be an appropriate balance. The type of prepping you do wouldn't be the one I'd personally make however.

I can understand this point of view and maybe I personally took it too far. But how far is too far?

For instance, I don't like my life in a bubble trying to prevent death, but I do live as if I do absolutely plan for the aftermath of bad scenarios if that makes sense. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

09-Mar-2021 10:59:14

Stoat King

Stoat King

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Averia Light said :
Stoat King said :
OP - you are just being pragmatic. Nothing wrong with that.
If people are freaked out by it, then thats a them problem.

That is kind of how I view it, but I was shocked that a professional was concerned.

Lol. Some mean-spirited people might say that that wasnt concern - it was dollar signs lighting up in their eyes.
The "omg this client is obsessed with death" dollar. Thats a good dollar!
Cant blame them for keeping an eye out for their own meal-ticket.

09-Mar-2021 10:59:23

Stoat King

Stoat King

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Averia Light said :
I can understand this point of view and maybe I personally took it too far.
You didnt. Whilst it is impractical to "prepare for every single eventuality", this one is obvious and inevitable. This isnt a low probability event - its probability is 100%

09-Mar-2021 11:02:25

Brigantia

Brigantia

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I can see where the concern might come from, especially if you approach it from an obsessive standpoint. Though for the amount of adequate 'prep' you probably have to do, I'm sure it's a struggle to not be a bit obsessive about it.

As I'm sure you're intending, it's better safe than sorry and I'm sure we all have known someone who was affected by a sudden death and were left blindsided and unprepared. You know the story.

The thing I find most unfortunate about the situation is that you feel the need to prep for all of that. Savings, ensuring enough single income because just incase, making sure there wouldn't be debt for whoever is left to deal with the aftermath. It's insane.

I don't see why it would be an issue as long as you're managing things in a health manner.

Honestly it just brings me back to my constant quip of HOW is America the greatest/richest country in the world if you can't afford to not worry about things like that?????????????
Arrr! Only th' Devil an' I know th' where'bouts o' me treasure, an' th' one o' us who lives th' longes' should take i' all.


@CapnBrigantia

09-Mar-2021 11:44:09

FiFi LaFeles

FiFi LaFeles

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I think maybe when you have offspring there's often a shift in the way you think.

There's this little creature who is utterly dependant and it's a primal urge to protect it/them.
One of the few pro-active ways a person can do that is to ensure there is financial provision in the event of their untimely demise.

Let's face it, irrespective of where you live money is King and who wants to contemplate their child/ren being left destitute or struggling if something can be done to pre-empt such a situation. Indeed, it's why most of us ensure we have a Pension, or other income stream, for ourselves in old age - it's a precautionary and very sensible early action to guard against potential hardship in times to come.

I believe the meticulous planning the OP has made and is making is not some sort of over the top aberration - I believe it is because she is naturally a person who has immense attention to detail. Possibly highlighted by her career where such a trait is highly desirable.

For a Therapist to suggest that it's an unhealthy obsession is, in my view, merely indicative of the Therapist's unsuitability to practice by not being able to recognise different personality traits and trying to see a problem where there isn't one. Some of us are happy to freefall through life and some are most comfortable covering all the bases. Neither is right, or wrong.

Far from the OP obsessing about death, I'd say she's looking to the future - a future where she and her family are free from financial worry so far as she can make it happen.
Le Chat Guerrier

Bwian's Towel & Grief Shop

09-Mar-2021 12:11:26

Megycal
Sep Member 2005

Megycal

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I think financial planning is sensible. One thing I do find odd is buying clothes for the children for 2 years ahead. Children grow at varying speed and also styles might change. Some will say fashion doesn't matter but who can say how that child will feel about such things in the future? I don't care about fashion but I'm old. :P If I like something I don't care if its this year's style or one from years ago.

09-Mar-2021 12:33:30

Theos
Aug
fmod Member
2008

Theos

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I wrote a much longer, more thought out post but then got timed out of the forums... and lost my response. :@

Balance is required, like with many things in life. To what extent is preparing for death, or preparing for a multitude of possibilities of what could happen in the future impeding upon enjoying the present moment? I don't think living to build solely a massive retirement account and saving every penny is enjoying life, nor is spending every penny and not saving for the future ideal.

We don't know when "our time" will come. I think that it is important to try to enjoy the present moment, while also simultaneously having a plan for a future. I hear from so many people that they're working hard and saving all of their money so they can "travel and enjoy life at 65+" in the future. Why not travel, reasonably or do whatever it is you enjoy now within reasonable moderation and safe for the future?

I try to plan for the possibilities of the future, but we can't plan for everything. Trying to will only lead to stress, and disappointment.
Forum Moderator

09-Mar-2021 16:51:01

BreakingBad
May Member 2014

BreakingBad

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Hmm, quite an odd one. However, in eventuality we all die.

I often come across people wanting to meet their end. One good communication tactic is reminding people what they're alive for, and often have to tell families the worst too.I don't think planning for the end is a bad thing but in my mind certainly a 'limit', I don't plan my career for wanting to die. I have great insurance and pension but that's about where I stop. I ride motorbikes, like to drive fast (legally, of course where permitted), but I don't endanger myself or other people. I have plans in place when I die, I've spoken to my family and my family have spoken to me about theirs.

I don't particularly 'plan' to die, but accept it will happen, and happen to us all. Less focus on dying, more focus on the living because you won't enjoy the now, the now is what we live for.
I wish I liked Quests as much as I love AFKing

09-Mar-2021 17:17:57

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