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Dishonour (Halloween Special)

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Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The music cues, and hipster Zimzams walks in, his giant hunkalicious abs hurting from a lack of not being amazing. All the ladies faint, and he walks onto his Warped Demonic Throne of Awesomeness. After making himself comfortable, he takes a sip of his Moonlight Mead tea, and faces the audience before him. Leaning on his throne is the scythe that came with his Harold Death costume.

"Wait, what is going on, why didn't I get any memo?!" protests Zemouregal, who happened to be the only person in the room not dressed for Halloween. Enakhra, dressed in a witch outfit, and Moia, dressed in an equally inappropriate maid outfit (glasses and bunny ears included), burst out laughing. The Page 51 Monster, wearing small Araxxor themed socks on his tentacles, joins in and throws a shoe at an incrementally infuriated Zemouregal. Also present I guess is Hazeel, dressed as a giant penguin, and Khazard, who is apparently dressed as a ghost.

The hello kitty clock strikes 13:37pm, and hipster Zimzams begins the meeting, folding his fingers with much calculated evil. "As you all know," he says, "the Sliske Fanclub Fellows are having their yearly Halloween Bash today at the Hair of the Dog Inn. Our secret sources have informed us that this year, President Relomia Bestgirl Shadowrelomia von BeforeverSliske will take the club on a tour of Sliske's Shadow Castle in the Shadow Realm, where the Stone of Jas is currently located.

"Now, we have no freaking clue how Relomia into'd the Shadow Realm, but it is highly likely that Sliske hasn't found out yet. Therefore, I have gathered the lot of you today in order to let you prove yourselves that you are not completely incompetent (particularly Zemouregal) in an underground heist mission to reclaim the Stone of Jas.” I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:31:08

Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Ready for action and eager to earn Lord Zimzams praise, Team Zimazams answers favorably to this call to action. "Let's do dis." says Moia. "Hmph." says Hazeel. "I'm ready and available!" says Enakhra, extending her arms outward like an absolute tool. "Wooo wooo woooooo, wooo wooooooooo" says Khazard. "Wait, what was that about me being incompetent?!" says Zemouregal. "??????????????????????????????????!!!" says the Page 51 Monster.

Lord Zimzams is pleased with this response and takes another sip from his Malign Goblet of a Thousand Sorrows. The finer details for Operation Reclaim Flaming Nostril are then laid out, with Zemouregal, Hazeel and Khazard being given the task of infiltrating the Sliske Fanclub Fellows. The rest of the group are then given secret instructions for reconnaissance and infiltrating Sliske’s Castle, and Team Zimzams finally parts ways with the usual cry of “Strength through Chaos!”. Hipster Zimzams and the Page 51 Monster cast RAINBOWS ABYSS: THE MUSICAL and burst into flame. Enakhra and Moia fly away on their witch and maid brooms, laughing manically. Khazard randomly disappears. Zemouregal begrudgingly walks together with Hazeel to the elevator since Hazeel forgets how to use Mahjarrat teleportation magicks. “Why am I always left with the idiots…” he murmurs.

And so Zemouregal and Hazeel begin their great journey across the Daemonheim Peninsula unto the western frontiers of the dread lands of Morytania. Which is only about 40 minutes of walking, so it isn’t so bad. On the way they take a quick detour to the local RuneMart, and Zemouregal buys Hazeel some mint tic tacs. Hazeel offers to pay but his coins keep on falling from his flippers so Zemouregal, his patience growing thin, pays from his own wallet. “Hmph” says Hazeel, a rather disappointing hmph, but he eats the tic tacs and stops pestering Zemouregal. I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:33:14 - Last edited on 19-Jun-2021 09:21:04 by Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
After passing over the hills of Silvarea by sliding down atop Hazeel (there was some construction work being done in Silvarea so the main path was blocked) Zemouregal passes through Vigorra’s Folly and finally makes his way to the Hair of the Dog Inn, where they are greeted by the ecstatic Relomia.

“Ah, this is so exciting! Are you here to take part in the Sliske Fanclub Fellows Halloween night meetup?” asks the ever-melodramatic President Relomia Bestgirl Shadowrelomia von BeforeverSliske, wearing a rather tacky Sliske costume with a Sliske mask strapped to the side of her head. Zemouregal stands there awkwardly while Hazeel nods and hands the president a card explaining their backstory as Hill Giants, whom disillusioned with King Roald III’s recent economic reforms, have turned to Sliske to find spiritual fulfilment in life. “Oh, hill giants! That does explain why you are so very tall!” bemuses the airheaded president, as she introduces them to the other members of the Sliske Fanclub Fellows sitting at a reserved table in the corner.

Fred the Farmer, rocking a totally radical cornstalk outfit, introduces himself first, explaining his own spiritual journey from Godless to a proud member of the United Church of Sliske. He also eyes Hazeel rather suspiciously, but complements Zemouregal on his skeleton outfit. Next to him is a gnome child wearing a traditional pointed hat who introduces themselves as Gnomad, a newcomer to the Sliske Fanclub Fellows. After giving a rather vague introduction, he explains using how using gnomish magicks he made himself taller so that he could cosplay as a human. Despite clearly making up this story on the spot, everyone besides Zemouregal apparently buys it. I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:33:44 - Last edited on 19-Jun-2021 09:22:36 by Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The hours pass as the Sliske Fanclub Fellows engage in their monthly activities before setting off, while Zemouregal tries (unsuccessfully) to get any useful information at all out of Relomia. They start with the Fellows ongoing alternative history Godwars DnD campaign, in which Sliske, having gained popularity among the local Forinthry peasantry, successfully drives away the hostile Saradominist and Zamorakian occupying forces. However as Zemouregal proves to be a rather unengaging Paladin of Sliske, the Fellows move on to more traditional board games (sponsored by the Canifis Foundation of Passing Time Until Your Next Tithing ).

Fred the Farmer captivates the audience as they play, reporting a story he heard from a friend who heard from his boss who heard from his second cousin thrice removed about a local woodcutter in Edgville who lost a pair of socks, believing it to be stolen by an ominous hooded figure spotted teleporting near his house. The authorities considered the man mad and closed the case; but the socks were never found. Listening in intently the story, Relomia chives in that this hooded figure was almost certainly Sliske.

“This is absolute bullocks! What use could Sliske possibly have for a woodcutter’s socks?” interjects a furious Zemouregal. “In gnomish magicks the power of socks have long been known as a force not to be trifled with." replies a shifty-eyed Gnomad. "Who knows what dread magicks a powerful mahjarrat such as Sliske could perform with them? And indeed his ways are mysterious.” The Fellows nod and swallow this up like butter. “That’s it, I’ve had enough of this tomfoolery! We are leaving now!” exasperates Zemouregal, who in a fit of rage overturns the table. The Inn goes quiet for a moment as everyone glances over to the Fellows corner. However, before anyone can react to this outburst, the clock strikes 6:16pm (Canifis Eastern Time) and the Inn is filled with the voices of countless werewolves howling in unison. I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:34:17 - Last edited on 19-Jun-2021 09:15:51 by Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“Ah, is it time already?” the president beams, clasping her hands. “Sliske Fanclub Fellows, the time has indeed come for our very special Halloween night bonanza event! Tonight, we will be making our way to the Shadow Realm, and will be touring none other than the Palace of Lord Sliske himself!” Fred the Farmer is unable to contain his excitement, while Gnomad pretends to be pleasantly surprised by this revelation. “Yes, YES! Get on with it woman, just tell us already!” Zemouregal thinks to himself while grinding his teeth.

The group then follows the president, eager to find out how they will enter the Shadow Realm. Not before long, they find themselves cramped inside the dark gender-neutral bathroom of the Hair of the Dog Inn. Zemouregal threatens to murder the entire crew unless he is provided an extraordinary explanation. “Oh, you are so funny, Mr. Skeleton!” laughs Fred the Farmer, which prompts the airheaded President Relomia Bestgirl Shadowrelomia von BeforeverSliske to explain the procedure. A completely broken Zemourgal then holds up the candle provided to each member by Roavar, and staring into the bathroom mirror, they each chant Sliske’s name three times and are magically transported to the Shadow Realm.

Leaving the Inn, the Fellows immediately see in the distance the Dark Palace of Sliske, hiding in plain sight amidst the plateaus of Northern Morytania. Following along rather solemnly, the Fellows make their way just outside the northern reach of Canifis when a large amphitheater comes into view in front of the castle gates. Thousands of wight soldiers fill the stadium and shout merrily as the barrows brothers, wearing large boxes on their heads with their painted faces, are forced to enact their tragedy for wights amusement. I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:36:12 - Last edited on 19-Jun-2021 18:16:45 by Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“How fascinating, I had no idea we would be treated to such an event!” the president exclaims as the Fellows walk inside and sit down next to a group of retired wight infantrymen. “Why do the barrows brothers wear boxes on their heads instead of just showing them?” Fred the Farmer wonders aloud. “I dunno, I guess Sliske thought it would be funny” replies Jeremiah P. Wightman, a gruff elderly wight clearly changed by many years of service in that unforgiving business known as war.

The play drags on, and Zemouregal, looking for a chance to escape, feels something being passed into his pocket after a witch carrying beverages passes by him. Taking out the note, he is relieved to see the instructions for the next phase of the plan. He turns to the other side of the note.

Stop sending me letters or I will file a lawsuit.

The dejected Zemouregal then excuses himself from the group on the pretense of going to the restroom and makes his way around the castle. He drops a handkerchief near his seat, and Relomia, picking it up, decides to follow after him to return it.

Catching up on the east wall, Relomia observes as Zemouregal scales up a conveniently placed vine into an open window. She shouts out to him but he doesn’t reply, so Relomia hesitantly climbs the vine herself and enters Sliske’s Castle. Finding herself in a dark room with an open door, Relomia exists to the second floor main hall, whose walls, staircases and chandeliers are laced with glass, filling the room in a myriad of ominous reflections. Having lost Zemouregal but unable to contain her excitement, Relomia thinks giddily to herself “I’m sure the Fellows won’t mind if I explore a bit before heading back, hehe.” Skimping about the castle, she eventually finds her way to the Sliske Hall of the Fine Arts, where many of Sliske’s artefacts and memorabilia are put on public display. In the corner she spots two familiar figures reading the caption of an unremarkable black rock. I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:36:39 - Last edited on 19-Jun-2021 09:45:44 by Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Aren’t you guys Araxxor and Harold Death? I didn’t know you were fans of Sliske too!” squeals Relomia, who’s never seen any celebrities besides Sliske before. Startled, Harold Death turns around, and in a twist of fate accidentally knocks over a large urn which smashes into a dozen pieces on the floor. “By Sliske!” exclaims Sliske’s butler Jeeves, who just so happens to pass by the hall. “Guards! Arrest this man! He will have to answer in a court of law!”. Relomia shrieks as Harold Death is dragged away by two wight guards to the nearest courthouse, which conveniently happens to be in the adjacent room.

“Order! Order in the Court!” exclaims the benevolent judge, who is totally not Sliske, as he pounds his mallet. “We will now try the case of Mr. Harold Death, who is on suspicion of breaking the urn of Sliske’s beloved grandmother, Martha.”

“The prosecution is ready as always” says Prosecutor Gregorovic, fidgeting some mad fidget spinners in a display of confidence. “The defense is ready” replies the aloof Defense Attorney Moia, adjusting her glasses. “Very well then, the prosecution may proceed.” says the judge. Prosecutor Gregorovic dutifully obliges and after explaining the details of the case calls to the stand his first witness, Araxxor. "?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!" explains Araxxor, proceeding to detail how the defendant broke the sacred urn before his very eyes and thereafter tried to make his escape.

“Wait a second, whose side are you on exactly?!” objects a furious Harold Death. “Guards! Silence the defendant please!” orders the judge. The two guards throw Harold Death to the floor, and then raise him up and throw him down again for good measure. I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:38:56 - Last edited on 19-Jun-2021 20:01:02 by Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The Prosecutor scoffs and presents a piece of evidence to the court: One broken remains of a sacred urn. “As you can see” explains Prosecutor Gregorovic “We have both a witness and a crucial piece of evidence. This is a clear cut case; the prosecution names the defendant guilty.” He bows majestically and the wights at the jury stand murmur among themselves in agreement, seemingly ready to make their verdict.

“Objection!” says Defense Attorney Moia, slamming both of her hands on the table. “The defense calls to attention another individual present at the scene of the crime.” Moia points to the nervous Relomia sitting in the stands. “My sources inform me that moments before the urn fell, this troublemaker was spotted running through the halls and making a ruckus. Until we can ascertain their role in this story, a final verdict cannot be made!”

“Objection overturned!” slams Prosecutor Gregorovic. “The defense must be truly desperate to insult Lord Sliske and insinuate that he is somehow involved in this incident as anything else other than a horrified onlooker. Now, isn’t that right, Lord Sliske?” The court then looks over to where Relomia is sitting, and it takes her a moment to realize what is going on. “W-what? Me?” she croaks. But Defense Attorney Moia is having none of it.

“Objection your honor! This person is clearly not Sliske, but a person dressed as Sliske!"
“A persona dressed as Sliske?!” the Judge exclaims in disbelief.
“And what evidence do you have for your assertion?” asks the smug Prosecutor Gregorovic.
“Call the witness to the stand and you will have your evidence!” objects Moia.
“But until you have provided sufficient evidence of doubt, we have no reason to believe it is not Sliske.” replies Prosecutor Gregorovic, wagging his finger. “And as per Morytanian conflict of interest laws, since Sliske owns this courthouse he cannot act as a witness.” I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:40:05 - Last edited on 19-Jun-2021 20:09:57 by Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
"This is kangaroo court! Who can believe in such a ridiculous law?" exclaims Moia. "The Prosecutor is clearly making things up as he goes along. I hold the Prosecutor in contempt of the court!"

The judge pounds his mallet. "The court rejects this motion. The Prosecutor speaks accurately about Morytanian law, and the court finds nothing objectionable with his other statements. If however the Defense continues to insult our laws or civil servants, they will be swiftly removed from this courtroom."

Damn it Moia, think - There must be a contradiction somewhere she tells herself desperately, as the Prosecutor continues to urge the Judge to make his final verdict. When all hope seems to be lost, she remembers the words of her master all those years ago when they first met in those fiery fields beyond the void, urging her to forge her own destiny, and to be free from the shackles of servitude. Wishing now to free her master in turn, a fire burns in Moia’s heart and a flash of inspiration comes over her. Smiling and adjusting her glasses, she asks the Judge for one last chance to cross-examine the prosecution, which he reluctantly grants.

“Does the prosecution agree that the butler Jeeves entered the crime scene after the urn was broken and arrested the suspect?”.
“Yes, we agree.” replies the confident Prosecutor Gregorovic.
“Does the prosecution also agree that Sliske was present in the room when the crime occurred?"
“That is our position, yes. However, I fail to see what you hope to accomplish by repeating these facts dear Attorney, unless your objective is to waste the judges and jury’s time.” he says snobbily, as the jury tsks and boos at Moia.
“Well, it is quite simple really” replies Defense Attorney Moia, who then points dramatically at the prosecution. “If Sliske was really present when the urn broke, then he would have clearly heard the sound, and would accost the suspect before Jeeves arrived!” I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:40:34 - Last edited on 20-Jun-2021 20:59:01 by Eren Lapucet

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