RuneScape Forum Archive | Dishonour (Halloween Special)

Eren Lapucet

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Murmurs are heard across the courthouse as Prosecutor Gregorovic starts sweating nervously. “Well, erm, uh… it is entirely possible that Jeeves entered the room right after the urn broke, so there was no need for Sliske to personally intervene…” he says feebly.
Defense Attorney Moia shakes her head. “At the precise moment the urn was shattered? An unlikely story. Nowhere in Jeeves report does he say he entered the room because he heard a sound – by the time the urn broke he was far away enough that he didn’t hear it!”
Prosecutor Gregorovic starts pounding on the table erratically and tries to regain his composure. “Perhaps Sliske was so shocked by the sight of his dear grandmothers broken urn that he was frozen in place until Jeeves arrived – yes, that is it, he was simply in a state of shock, that is all.”
Defense Attorney Moia waves her finger triumphantly. “Are you implying that the powerful mahjarrat Sliske would be frozen in place and allow the accused a chance to escape? It sounds to me like it is you who is insulting Lord Sliske, dear Prosecutor!”
“Ack!” exclaims Prosecutor Gregorovic, as he mumbles incoherently to himself and flips furiously through his case file.

“Order! Order! I will have order in the court!” exclaims the benevolent Judge as he once again pounds his mallet. “You have made your case, Defense Attorney; the court concedes the threshold of sufficient doubt has been met. We will allow the individual in question to testify on the question of their identity - however if they are indeed Sliske, they will be unable to testify further and your objection will be overruled.”

All eyes are now set on Relomia as she walks up to the stand. Despite all this lawyer stuff going over her head, Relomia’s mind goes to what Sliske would want her to do, and merrily clasping her hands, she announces to the world that she is indeed Lord Sliske, and she is so very sorry for all the trouble she caused. I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:42:23 - Last edited on 19-Jun-2021 18:23:00 by Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

“No! Damn it all! I was so close!” says Moia, pounding the table once again. “Clearly you have overestimated your own abilities, dear Attorney.” says the pompous Prosecutor Gregorovic, forgetting his utter humiliation moments before. The judge shakes his head in disapproval. “You have been given one chance, Defendant. As the individual in question has unquestionably confirmed their identity as Sliske, the court hereby closes its proceedings and hands the verdict over to the jury.” The jury then casts their vote. All seven wights vote Guilty, and the defendant is locked in a cage and taken away, much to Moia’s dismay.

But even in the darkest of hours there is always a glimmer of hope. For in that courtroom that day, all but one was utterly deceived. The masked reaper who was taken away in a cage that day was in fact Harold Death Esquire, and the real Zimzams was infiltrating the deepest lairs of Sliske’s Palace even as they spoke! Having dispatched of Sliske’s security protocols, and sneaking into the innermost vaults unnoticed, Lord Zimzams finally reaches the deepest pits where the Stone of Jas lay hidden. But he was not alone.

“Wait, how did you get in here Smurfadomin?” asks the quizzical Zimzams. “Wouldn’t you like to know, fiend!” replies Smurfadomin, wearing a rather tacky santa hat (he was never the biggest fan of Halloween anyway). The two gods then clash in the air, and the palace shakes as they fight for supremacy over the Stone of Jas. Zimzams strikes first with his FIERY KICK OF INJUSTICE which Smurfadomin then blocks with the spell MAGIC WALL THAT BLOCKS FIERY KICK OF INJUSTICE (They do this at least once a month). Smurfadomin then counters with THE NARAGI WARLORDS ATTACKED FIRST, and Zimzams is briefly subdued before realizing he can cast DISPELLER OF LAUGHABLE NOTIONS, which frees him and sends rains of fire hurling down on Smurfadomin. I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:44:07 - Last edited on 19-Jun-2021 18:43:22 by Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

The two gods continue fighting in this manner, each occasionally gaining the upper hand but losing their advantage before they can deliver the final blow. Then suddenly Enakhra comes in panting, and is distressed to see her lord so battered. “Lord Zimzams! We must away!” she cries. For indeed, they were all of them deceived. The Stone that the two gods had fought over was but a cardboard cutout, and the real Stone of Jas had just been stolen by the maniacal Gnomad, who machinations have lay undetected for the last couple of hours. “How could this be?!” cries the stupefied Zimzams. “It is as I feared my lord.” replies Enakhra. “My intelligence has revealed that the real Stone of Jas was located elsewhere, the code and location of which somehow made its way into Relomia’s hands. Having gained her trust, Gnomad obtained that information and made way to pilfer the Stone while everyone was distracted.”

Upon hearing this, Smurfadomin curses his intelligence and flees in a fit of rage. However, before he can escape the cavern, the real Page 51 Monster appears from the shadows and devours him, thus ending Smurfadomin’s reign of terror until the end of days, and bringing about a new era of peace in Gielinor. But for now, Enakhra lays down the badly hurt Zimzams on a rock, and feeling the wound on his chest begins to cry. “Do not have concern for me, for my wounds are not fatal.” says Zimzams, turning over to her and smiling. “There is still one last hope – go hither so that victory may not yet elude our grasp.” And so saying Lord Zimzams shuts his eyes and rested, and with new resolve Enakhra leaves her master and makes haste to inform the others. I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:45:08

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

And it is said that the last hope that Zimzams spoke of was none other than Zemouregal, whom having slipped into Sliske’s Palace unnoticed was tasked to find a secret weapon that would bring about their victory. But Zemouregal did not know what this weapon was, and when he arrived at his assigned coordinates he was confounded, for he found himself in none other than the private dining quarters of Sliske.

“You there! Yes you!” says a screeching voice, horrible and godly. Looking around the room but seeing no one in it, Zemouregal finally glances over at Sliske’s plate at the head of the table, and there finds none other than Brassica Prime himself! “Brassica Prime?! What kind of cruel jest is this?!” exclaims Zemouregal. “A cruel jest it is indeed.” says Brassica Prime. “For the fiend Sliske has cast on me a spell of binding, and ere the night ends shall consume my flesh so that he may grow ever more powerful. But free me from these binding chains oh mortal, and I shall lend you my strength, and together we shall be as one with power immeasurable.” “I don’t get paid enough for this…” laments Zemouregal, but he does what Brassica says.

And so as the villain Gnomad escapes in his gnome glider with the Stone of Jas, cackling laughs maniacal and villainous, a great cloud of light appears in the heavens above Sliske’s Palace, and from it comes forth Zemouregal, riding the Great Chariot of Brassica Prime. And the light blinds Gnomad, but he steers forth unfettered, and conjures great blasts of magic behind him. But Zemouregal dodges them, and standing firm on the chariot he throws the Pilum Brassicus, the Holy Javelin of Brassica Prime. And it soars through the heavens as a bolt of lightning and rips through the gnome glider, and both Gnomad and the Stone of Jas fall down into the depths. I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:45:58 - Last edited on 19-Jun-2021 18:29:59 by Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Below, the armies of Daquarius advance forward and meet the wight forces, having arrived after receiving word that the mission had been compromised. The wights had little time to prepare, scurrying hurriedly from the amphitheater, and to offset their advantage the wight captains release Wight Dragons from their cages, who had not been fully tamed. The dragons breath great fumes of black fire which scourge the fields, and the two armies are led into disarray as many flee the battleground while others fight amidst a cloud of ignorance, cut off from their captains.

Amidst the chaos Zemouregal lands with his chariot, and jumping off it he hears the voice of Brassica Prime calling out to him – “The contract is complete – it is now up to you alone, oh hero, to confront the Enemy and claim your prize. Farewell.” And so saying the power of Brassica leafs him, and Zemouregal tried as best as he could to forget that any of that just happened.

Walking up to the swamp puddle Gnomad fell into, Zemouregal meets the injured Gnomad as he crawls up slowly to the surface. “Zemy! Buddy! Surely we can reason about this man to man, can we not?” he desperately croaks. “Imagine what we can accomplish together! With the Stone in our grasp we can make all of Gielinor bend to our will. Your days of being Zimzams lapdog will come to an end, and the student will finally take his place as the master. Zimzams betrayal would be but a low price to pay. As they say, there is no dishonor among thieves.” But Zemouregal sees through Gnomads lies. “Hold your tongue, snake! Unlike you, I am much more than just a petty thief.” And so saying Zemouregal casts a generic mahjarrat spell which blasts Gnomad back and renders him unconscious. I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:47:21 - Last edited on 28-Oct-2020 17:14:41 by Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

The victorious Zemouregal then beholds the great Stone some distance away and eagerly makes his way to claim his prize. “This is it, my chance to finally prove myself.” he thinks. All those long years of humiliation and defeat, surrounded by incompetent henchmen and thwarted by unlikely heroes wielding relics of great power, were finally going to come to an end. But harkening the words of Gnomad, Zemouregal contemplates taking the Stone for himself and betraying his master. He begins thinking of the power he’d have that would rival even Zimzams, the conquests he could rage and the nonexistent love life he could potentially remedy (this was the unlikeliest of his fantasies).

But before he could decide on a course of action, Zemouregal is suddenly knocked over by a wight unicorn and falls head-first into a puddle of mud. “Mr. Skeleton! What a surprise to find you here!” says the jolly Farmer Fred, whom together with Hazeel is wearing a wight infantry helmet and is holding a standard of Sliske. “You two! What in Zimzams name are you doing here?!” says the furious Zemouregal. “Why, we’re participating in the wight mock battle of course!” replies Farmer Fred. “Mr. Jeremiah was kind enough to let us lend us his old gear so that we could participate, and before we knew it we were assigned to be standard-bearers!”

Zemouregal facepalms and decides it’s not worth his time to argue with Fred. “Hazeel! Hurry and contact the others! Tell them I have secured the Stone!” Hazeel, looking at Zemouregal, then the Stone, then Zemouregal again, instead waves his flippers and casts tele-other on Zemouregal, sending him to the high level wilderness as Zemouregal shrieks a rather generic “What?!!! Nooooooooo!” I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:49:37

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

“Wait a minute partner, what’s going on here?” shouts a suspicious Farmer Fred. Hazeel just replies with a “Hmph”, and jumping off the unicorn he waddles towards the Stone. And so, the powerful mahjarrat Hazeel, whose machinations have lay undetected for some indeterminate period of time, claims the Stone of Jas. But unlike the many thieves that day who had sought to pilfer that great prize, Hazeel craved neither knowledge nor power. Instead, touching the Stone, he uses its power to bring back Khazard into the world of the living.

Khazard, having regained his body and seeing his master with the Stone, falls down on his knees and bursts into tears. “My loyalty to you has never waivered, master. You alone in this world were there for me in my time of need, and raised me in your house although you had naught to gain from it. And throughout my life I had ever sought to repay your kindness by becoming a powerful Mahjarrat lord of my right, so that your tutelage would not come to waste. But now you have done for me the greatest of services, and there are no words or deeds I can think of for which to repay you.”

But Hazeel shakes his head. “Hmph” he says. (Roughly translated as: “Stand up my pupil, and wipe away those tears, for it is not fittingly for a Mahjarrat such as yourself to fall prey to such outbursts of emotion. But yea, know that the only gift a Master could ask for is that their student grows to their full potential, and I know you shall not disappoint Khazard, for you have come far and accomplished many deeds which more ancient mahjarrat could not. And when you have reached your maturity, we shall together reclaim the lands of Kandarin as master and student, and I will have considered the debt payed, and then some.”) And Khazard smiles at his master and stands up, a mahjarrat proud and terrible in countenance. I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:51:22

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Thee armies of Daquarius and Sliske, witnessing this event, starting sobbing, and realizing the futility of war lay down their weapons and gather about the two mahjarrat in peace and friendship. “Spread love, not war!” cries a random wight soldier which others echo, and which prompts good men of both sides to throw down their standards and set them on fire.

Fred the Farmer sobs, recalling his strained relationship with his son whom he had excommunicated back when he was still Godless (he has refused to partake in the local godless ritual of passage by throwing rocks at Taw’Paak from behind a bush). A new resolve now stirs up within him to reconcile with his estranged son and readmit him back into the family. President Relomia Bestgirl Shadowrelomia von BeforeverSliske’s heart similarly swells and she resolves to continue making the Sliske Fanclub Fellows a welcoming place for people of all kinds to come together in unison to celebrate their lord and savior Sliske.

To his brothers, Guthan says “Let us forgive and forget our past squabbles; for it is through the bond that ties us together that we shall become better men.” Ahrim agrees, and apologizes for all the wrongs he has done to Guthan, such as copying his homework when they were in third grade at the Entrana Academy of Arts, and secretly murdering his fiancée for being a heretic. “Wait, what?” says Guthan as the brothers suddenly recollect all their past grievances and start fighting and stabbing at each other like usual (y u do dis Sliske ;-; ). I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:52:23 - Last edited on 28-Oct-2020 07:53:25 by Eren Lapucet

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Moia and Enakhra arrive on their brooms at the scene and are completely confused what in the world is going on. “The Stone!” shrieks Enakhra as everyone realizes for the first time that it is missing. Suddenly everyone’s attention goes towards the Page 51 Monster, who is standing next to the place where the Stone of Jas was. After an awkward silence, he betrays himself with a loud burp. “You didn’t!” exclaims the terrified Moia. “???!!!!!???!!!!!!!!!!” says the slightly embarrassed Page 51 Monster. “Zimzams damn it!” she exclaims as the rest of onlookers pack their bags and go home, seeing that what was done was done. Hipster Lord Zimzams himself comes onto the scene with a crutch, and Moia rushes over to report all that had occurred.

“I see. So Operation Reclaim Flaming Nostril was a failure then.” he says disappointingly. “Well, at least Sliske no longer has the Stone now.” says Moia. “And let us not forget that the fiend Smurfadomin finally payed his due on this day as well. So perhaps there is some cause to celebrate.” “Indeed.” says Zimzams. “But the one who banished my foe is also the one who stole from me that one prize which I seeked. I will have to do much rebuking today, for it seems that everyone but you and Enakhra has betrayed me in some way. Although I myself am not blameless, for indeed I have deceived you by calling on the services of Harold, who had owed me a favor.” “For that you are forgiven. But indeed, the minds of men are deceitful and hard to fathom.” replies Moia as she tends to the wounds on his chest. I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:54:34

Eren Lapucet

Posts: 1,658 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Team Zimzams and the others make their way back to the now horribly cluttered Hair of the Dog Inn to leave the Shadow Realm (Daquarius leads the charge to neatly organize rank and file formation for people entering the bathroom). Enakhra, flying overhead on her witch broom notices that the Page 51 is missing one of his Araxxor socks. Flying lower to greet him, she asks him if he lost it somewhere in the Shadow Realm. “!!!!????!!????????????” he replies. “I see… so you only just noticed it now.” Enakhra’s mind wanders now to that big oaf, wondering if after he got teleported, he found himself in the real world or the Shadow Realm. Realizing that he wasn’t even worth thinking about, she smiles at the Page 51 Monster and says “I’m sure you just dropped it somewhere. After all, what could be so ominous about a missing sock?”

The End. I'm too Unaligned to have a forum signature.

28-Oct-2020 07:55:19

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Dishonour (Halloween Special)