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Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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Mmm, I have finished typing Brother Love into the computer and my sister has agreed to be the first beta-reading, and read all of it today. Her comments were positive, and I will work on what is needed before posting.
Thank you for waiting :)

12-Aug-2010 22:58:54

[#HIK4OJ5IZ]

[#HIK4OJ5IZ]

Posts: 37 Bronze Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I'm not sure how to describe how I feel about this story.
I read the praise, and I understand it.
I read the story, and I understand that.
I read the entire thread, and I understand it all.
But it really had no effect on me. I feel for Kipplin, I really do, but it doesn't go any farther than "meh, that sucks." I see what you tried to do (some may argue it as a success), but it just didn't work for me. Some parts came across as too contrived, while others seemed to be genuine. It's a mix of good and bad, really. I thoroughly enjoyed it, but, as for how deeply it effected me, it just...didn't.
It's good writing.
It's got a great plot.
I just...dunno. Something didn't click.
Edit: To add to the above, it did keep me drawn in. I read this with far more interest than many other stories on these boards. Kudos.

13-Aug-2010 07:09:43 - Last edited on 13-Aug-2010 07:10:37 by [#HIK4OJ5IZ]

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Posts: 9,782 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Hey, Prefix! Long time no see! How goes everything back home? :)

Hello Ben. Thank you for dropping by and reading my story, I really appreciate it. You know, given this story was written three years ago, I wouldn't be surprised if something didn't click :P . Some may argue that a huge part of storytelling is lying, and I would personally consider a success if I can engage a reader's emotion. 97% of my readers (This thread, in real life, and the previous thread) feel the story affected them deeply. But what can I say? One man's favourite story can be another's garbage. Art is like that, Music is like that. No one can write a story everyone loves, really.
And, I wonder, since you mentioned the good and the bad, would you mind telling me what you think the 'bad' was? After all, that is a rather important element in a review. I wanted to know what you think. Anyway, I will now return the favour to comment on one of the stories of yours that I can find.

13-Aug-2010 16:29:59 - Last edited on 13-Aug-2010 17:21:39 by Englishkid62

[#HIK4OJ5IZ]

[#HIK4OJ5IZ]

Posts: 37 Bronze Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
For what was 'bad,' I don't think it was anything material. Some parts just came across as too contrived for me to really feel for it, but then other parts made up for that. Overall it's a very good story, nonetheless; I just think some parts can be improved upon. I'll read through shortly and see if I can find those parts for you.

13-Aug-2010 20:41:00

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Posts: 9,782 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The final stages prior to a release is here. If for two days in a row I cannot make a single change on my new story, Brotherly Love, then on the following day I will make the thread and post it in its entirety.
Until then, I need the 500 posts :P

15-Aug-2010 01:46:07 - Last edited on 15-Aug-2010 01:47:03 by Englishkid62

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