Plot: 85% while i think i've seen a similar plot before It's very good.
Grammar: 85% the grammar was very well done except for that awkward swearing part
Character development: 80% I could imagine the history of the characters, they all seemed very real to me, the part with him assaulting his friend was pretty funny.
Uniqueness: 80% You did a good job with the descriptions and the [put here for the need of a better word] was seen much less in this story, which is a good thing
Humor/"Epicness": 70% It was pretty good, the dream CREEPED THE LIVING HELL OUTTA ME!
Small Details: ???
Description:
Narration: there were a few parts that were corny like the parts where the gods were crying and the civilians could almost hear them
"Hook" Or what keeps the reader interested: Not very much in the beginning but when the employee asked how old bill's daughter was It was pretty hard to stop reading
Overall (not an average): 89% Gifted Author.
It's pretty sad that the best stories don't get as much readers as the average stories, like gielnor infected for example, it wasn't that great in my opinion but got way more readers! HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET ANY READERS!? MY STORIES DON'T HAVE ANY READERS!
If you could could you answer that question? Lol, It would be great if you could be in my roleplay!
Quick find code: 46-47-876-59322509
You're really good, one of the best I've seen but not without some of your errors. I'll walk you through how to join if you actually join my roleplay.
15-Aug-2009 07:25:37
