Forums
The Cursed Dragon: Part 2
Quick find code: 49-50-606-37452171
![[#5AGSIZET9]](https://forums.rs/img/avatars/default.png)
BumP from Page 28
¸•º°´¯(`¤•.••^v´¯`×) ••¤(`×÷[¤ þø|<£§åßè®123 ¤]÷×´)¤•• (×´¯`v^••.•¤´)¯`°º•¸
•´¯`°÷·•,¸.× Ðøn'† }-{êšî†å†ê †ø Ðø \X/hå† ¥øü †hînk Κ ®ígh† ×.¸,•·÷°¨¯`•
Member of
Former Warlord & Co-leader (2010-11) of
¸•º°´¯(`¤•.••^v´¯`×) ••¤(`×÷[¤ þø|<£§åßè®123 ¤]÷×´)¤•• (×´¯`v^••.•¤´)¯`°º•¸
•´¯`°÷·•,¸.× Ðøn'† }-{êšî†å†ê †ø Ðø \X/hå† ¥øü †hînk Κ ®ígh† ×.¸,•·÷°¨¯`•
Pokeaotics
Member of
Midnight Eclipse
Former Warlord & Co-leader (2010-11) of
Fusion <3
11-Nov-2007 22:22:14
Hey there, Reikan. I am going to be your rater from the Yanillian Library. Now, I have already read the entire trilogy like a while ago. So all I'm going to do is skim through it, give you your review, and if it gets in, the third installment will also be accepted.
~ (V)߆§¢‡, Pain in the neck ~ Owner of Quest Cape ~ Rater & Librarian of The Yanillian Library ~ Teacher at Academy of Reviewing ~ Called Mitch by stories forum authors.
~
~ (V)߆§¢‡, Pain in the neck ~ Owner of Quest Cape ~ Rater & Librarian of The Yanillian Library ~ Teacher at Academy of Reviewing ~ Called Mitch by stories forum authors.
~
13-Nov-2007 20:21:50 - Last edited on 13-Nov-2007 20:22:29 by Venmi
Review for The Cursed Dragon Trilogy (Yes, I am basing this on the whole trilogy) by Reikan4 -- Courtesy of "The Yanillian Library -- Review by Mbtsc/t
Spelling and Grammar/ Organization -- 22/25 -- Throughout the skim I made, I noticed very few mistakes. You've done well here. Using a spellchecker helps you, so if you are tended to make mistakes, don't hesitate to use it, for we won't know.
Your organization was great too, but the thing that bothered me is that you used so many extra unnecessary posts.
Description/Vocabulary -- 25/30 -- Throughout the story, you put the smallest details in. This is great, for it slows down the story, making it longer, and it is easier to see everything that is going on in the story. You can see a lot of stuff in this story. The only thing I can really say here is give more detail to the main characters and the setting would be good too. If you really want it to be a lot better, just re-do everything, to add a ton of detail on it all.
~Iban looked around, his ears perked up, as if he was hearing something. ~ Usually not many add stuff like his ears perking up. It's excellent description used in great story.
Plot/Conflict -- 57/65 -- The plot shifted back and forth between different parts throughout the story. This can be either good or bad depending on how you format it. When someone reads the story, they think the conflict is just getting the egg to hatch, but really, it's more than that. It's about them going through a horde of conflicts to keep the egg safe. One thing that I wish to point out is that there probably could've been more conflict between Kalda and Kaiser. I mean, everyone fights.
Spelling and Grammar/ Organization -- 22/25 -- Throughout the skim I made, I noticed very few mistakes. You've done well here. Using a spellchecker helps you, so if you are tended to make mistakes, don't hesitate to use it, for we won't know.
Your organization was great too, but the thing that bothered me is that you used so many extra unnecessary posts.
Description/Vocabulary -- 25/30 -- Throughout the story, you put the smallest details in. This is great, for it slows down the story, making it longer, and it is easier to see everything that is going on in the story. You can see a lot of stuff in this story. The only thing I can really say here is give more detail to the main characters and the setting would be good too. If you really want it to be a lot better, just re-do everything, to add a ton of detail on it all.
~Iban looked around, his ears perked up, as if he was hearing something. ~ Usually not many add stuff like his ears perking up. It's excellent description used in great story.
Plot/Conflict -- 57/65 -- The plot shifted back and forth between different parts throughout the story. This can be either good or bad depending on how you format it. When someone reads the story, they think the conflict is just getting the egg to hatch, but really, it's more than that. It's about them going through a horde of conflicts to keep the egg safe. One thing that I wish to point out is that there probably could've been more conflict between Kalda and Kaiser. I mean, everyone fights.
13-Nov-2007 21:17:44 - Last edited on 14-Nov-2007 00:44:50 by Venmi
Quick find code: 49-50-606-37452171 Back to Top