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Feel the Silence

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Crystal Smee

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Thanks for the comments, guys. I'm back from my vacation - 3 days in Florence, 4 in the Tuscan countryside drinking wine and visiting medieval towns, 3 in Venice. :) It was the greatest vacation of my life.

Aaanyhow, I was out doing stuff most of the day, so really the only time I had to write was on the two 8-hour flights. I wrote about 6 pages worth of longhand today on the plane, so it'll be much less typed, but I do have something to type and post ASAP. Hopefully you all will enjoy it ^_^

10-Aug-2010 03:33:31

Crystal Smee

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The next six days passed in a blur for Lucas. He spent his mornings working in the infirmary with Sorokin, treating critical victims of raids and helping rehabilitate long-term patients. He learned more from Sorokin in these days than he ever had in the science books he had read in the city. He checked the office for mail twice a day, even though the mail cart only came once a week. He couldn’t help himself. And still, he received nothing, no word from Justine. He tried not to panic, but he couldn’t stop obsessing, wondering where she was and why she hadn’t written to him again.
“I was surprised to find no correspondence from you,” he wrote with a trembling hand. “It would give me great peace to hear from you. Please give me news of the city, the goings-on of the castle. Even my parents – I know this is hard on them, so please let them know that I’m okay, and I miss them terribly. I just need to hear from you, Justine.”
In his afternoons, he either continued work in the infirmary, or took long walks around the town, spending long hours sitting on the docks, watching the chaos of the port and trying to make sense of the last few months in his head. Sometimes Sorokin walked with him. His fellow medic had been extremely kind, and Lucas wondered if Sorokin could truly be his friend. He felt that would be asking too much, and yet, the older man seemed to enjoy his company – what a wonder. It was he who invited Lucas out for drinks every night. He’d never been much of a drinker, besides the few times he and Justine had stolen spirits and drunk them in Lucas’ room – he thought often of the first time they had been drunk together, the night they made love for the first time, clumsy and awkward and perfect…

11-Aug-2010 17:28:07

Crystal Smee

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Now Lucas found there was a comfort in numbing his mind every night. It loosened the iron bands that constricted his heart when he stared out the ocean all afternoon; it helped him fall into deep, blissfully dreamless, painless sleep.
The week passed thus uneventfully. There were no more run-ins with Gavin. There were no letters. His lost and destroyed gear was replaced. And suddenly Lucas found it ws the day before hteir departure, and Jonah had called them to a debriefing about the expedition.
In a large mess hall at the back of the barracks, the members of the team sat in rows at the picnic tables, facing a large board that Jonah had assembled. Jonah and Travis stood on opposite sides, consulting their notes as they explained the upcoming tasks. Pinned to the board was a large map of Karamja, with the colony of Brimhaven circled in bright red ink. On the eastern coast, a large star marked where the company would land.
“Due to our desire to conceal our approach, we will land far from the colony. We don’t know what the situation with scouts and outposts is, and we want to maintain the element of surprise.” Travis slapped the map where the star was marked. “So we land here.”
“There is very little intelligence on the colony beyond what ships sailing through have seen,” Jonah barked. “Word is it’s a lumber colony, mostly working men, only a few soldiers. Whether this is true remains to be seen.*
*We’ll have to do our own scouting,” Travis added.
“The goal is to capture the town and establish our own garrison. Once that is done, we recover the ship and send for men to launch an attack on Ardougne.”

11-Aug-2010 17:29:23 - Last edited on 01-Apr-2011 15:27:58 by Crystal Smee

Crystal Smee

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“The big part is the trek from where we land to the colony.” Travis folded his arms. “We’ll be crossing miles of dense, uncharted jungle filled with hostile natives. This won’t be war like you’re used to, men. This will be extremely dangerous, unconventional, guerrilla warfare. There’s a reason the place hasn’t been charted yet.”
“We want to be sure you are all aware of what’s coming. This won’t be easy,” Jonah said.
There was a murmur among the soldiers. Lucas felt the nerves gathering deep in his stomach. He could barely cope with normal warfare; was there any hope that he would survive this? He felt the rush of fear that accompanies the realization that one has made a grave mistake. No, he told himself firmly. You have to hope. You have to be brave. That’s what a man would do. He tried to picture what it would be like, what the natives would be like. He’d read about Karamja and its natives before; some explorers had ventured there, and it was a land that had always captured his imagination. Maybe he just needed to think about it that way – he was seeing the world, getting a firsthand look at everything he had read.
He just wished he could remember the passages about the natives, so he might know what to expect. Were they really as hostile as Jonah had been told?
He was so sick of the fear. It had been living in him for so long, he did*’t even know what he feared anymore: dying, killing, or simply being in the army. Wouldn’t it all be easier if he just let the fear go? If he just stopped being afraid?
So he decided to let it go. He wouldn’t be afraid; he’d let things develop as they would. All his fear was really just worrying about the future. He couldn’t change it. Lucas made up his mind not to worry.
It did*’t work so well.
He tried to focus on what Jonah was saying instead.

11-Aug-2010 17:33:30

Crystal Smee

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“Make sure all your gear is restocked. You’ll need all of the basic materials for survival – there will be no one to help you out there. Be prepared. We leave at dawn tomorrow. You are dismissed.*
The soldiers rose, so Lucas followed suit. They exited into the warm summer afternoon. Lucas made for the main hall one last time, praying as he went to all three gods that he would find some word from Justine. And yet there was still nothing. How was this possible? Justine had to have written to him at least once; he’d been gone for months. He began to wonder if maybe she’d just been waiting for him to go away, so she could move on to someone more worthy, someone better.
That was ridiculous, he told himself. Justine loved him. She wanted to marry him. She was waiting for him. Soon she’d receive his letters, and write back. It just must be some lapse in communication, that was all. When he returned from this trip, well, then there would be a huge stack of letters waiting for him.
However, later that afternoon, while Lucas worked in the infirmary with Sorokin, word came around that there was to be a delay. Something had gone wrong with the ship that was supposed to take them – a place was found where the wood was decaying, and water was leaking in. The replacements would take a few weeks, and in the mean time, the squad would be on leave here in the city.
There was much celebration in the bar that night, where Lucas bent over his next letter to Justine, explaining the situation to her. He was overjoyed. He would wait and be here when Justine’s letters finally arrived.

11-Aug-2010 17:34:09

Crystal Smee

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
***
Gray Val’Myren whistled to himself as he entered the army barracks in Varrock. He was feeling rather pleased with himself. He had, after all, successfully disposed of the one major obstacle to his daughter’s future.
And what if Lucas came back? he wondered briefly, and then laughed the worry off. So what if the little snot wasn’t really dad yet? He probably would be soon. Gray had seen the following report, stating that Lucas was in a squad headed for Karamja. He would die there. And if he did*’t, if Lucas did return, by then Gray’s plans would be in place, and it wouldn’t matter. As long as James kept getting his reports through Gray instead of directly from the messengers, everything would be fine.
He walked to the mail office, where the weekly dispatches from the southern cities were due to arrive today. Smiling, he approached the soldier there and slapped his hands on the desk.
“Any news for the Prince?”
“Yes, my Lord.” The soldier turned and rifled through his envelopes. “Reports from Lumbridge, Port Sarim, and Falador, my Lord.”
Gray took the stack of mail, eagerly anticipating the reports within he might be able to doctor. Meanwhile, the soldier had produced another stack of envelopes.
*What’s this?”
“For the Lady Val’Myren, my Lord,” the soldier said, bowing his head.
Gray’s wolfish grin deepened. Letters from Lucas! “My thanks,” he told the soldier and swept away. In the street, he examined the pile of envelopes in Lucas’ perfect cursive. The boy was rather prolific. He was sure, however, that the stream of letters would subside soon, once Lucas saw that Justine wasn’t writing back.
At home in his office, Gray deposited Lucas* letters in a locked drawer, next to the ever-growing stack of letters addressed in Justine’s handwriting to Lucas Val’Eyra, Ninth Company.
Yes, he thought, as he sat down to the reports. Things were going exactly according to plan.

11-Aug-2010 17:34:38

Crystal Smee

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Some time later, Gray left the office to give the reports to the Prince. He carefully calculated what he would say, when he stopped beyond Justine’s door. He stepped back and knocked.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he said softly.
Justine lay on her canopied bed, where Gray imagined she and Lucas had made love countless times. The thought gave him chills. She wore a pair of men’s trousers, ones she hadn’t worn for many years, since the days she and Lucas chased each other through the muck in the stables. While she had since grown out of those pants, the shirt she wore was much too large. It was heather gray, cotton, with buttons up to the neck. It belonged to Lucas.
She had pulled it up slightly so that the collar was up over her nose, exposing her flat stomach, which Gray saw rise and fall as she inhaled deeply. Her eyes were closed. For a long time, she did*’t respond, and Gray wondered if she was sleeping. He did*’t really know what that would look like.
Finally she unlaced her hands and pulled the shirt down over her stomach. Her eyes opened and rolled to the left. She said nothing. He saw her eyes were ringed with dark circles.
There was so much he could have said in that moment – and admonishment for wearing men’* clothes, or a scolding for exposing herself indecently, even though there was no one else to see, but he choked on the words. She looked so displeased with her fate that it stopped Gray in his tracks.
Instead, he said, “I’m going over to the castle. I wanted to know whether you might want to join me.”
She huffed along sigh. “We don’t walk places together, Father.”
He stepped further into the room he so rarely entered and eyed the crumpled balls of paper strewn across the floor. He picked up book that lay open and smoothed the pages.
Suddenly she was beside him, slipping the book from his hands. “Don’t touch that,” she snapped.

11-Aug-2010 17:35:22

Crystal Smee

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“I thought, maybe, we could start,” he said.
“Why?”
“Because…” he floundered. “I thought we could…talk?”
She sneered. “We don’t talk, either.”
“Well, couldn’t we?”
She folded the book in her arms. “And what would we…talk, about?” she mocked.
Gray’s palms were sweating. He wiped them on his pants. What a mistake. He should have kept walking. “Well. Um. How you’re doing, I guess?”
“I’m fine. You can go,” she dismissed him with a wave of her hand and flopped back onto the bed.
“You don’t…look fine,” Gray stammered.
She blinked. “I’ll be changed by the time you get back. I apologize.”
“That’s not what I—“
“Oh, stop. We both know you don’t give a damn how I am. You just want me to look pretty so you can bounce me up and down in front of the Prince until he makes the highest bid.”
“I want you to be happy, Justine.”
“You want you to be happy. Unfortunately the two rarely coincide. You should go, I’m sure the Prince his waiting for his reports.” She pulled the shirt back up over her nose and inhaled sharply. “Please close the door on your way out.” He voice came out muffled from the cloth. Her eyes were closed.
Gray closed the door and left, but not before he swiped up one of the wads of paper. He unfolded it as he walked.
“Dear Lucas,” it was crossed out, then written again.
“This feels so stupid, writing you a letter that’ll never get mailed. Seeing as how you’re dead, and all.
Gods.
It helps to write, I think. I guess. I don’t know yet. I always talk to you when I’m sad. What am I supposed to do when I’m sad about you?
It reminds me of that time we got caught in that random room in the castle – I can’t believe you talked me into that – I can’t believe my father found us. And you pulled out that ring. I’ve been thinking about that day a lot; well, I’ve been thinking about a lot of days. But I’ve been thinking about the look on your face, when you thought I did*’t want to marry you.

11-Aug-2010 17:36:42

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