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Anne Lauten

Anne Lauten

Posts: 3,830 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I don't write things like this much, but I sort of like this one.

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The lava froths, sending a fresh billow of steam to the surface. For a moment, the white-robed figure is hidden behind the cloud, but soon it reappers. The steam boils forth from one of the many craters that pitt the charred, barren, landscape, rending it almost uncrossable, even by the tough adveturers who bost their exploits in nearly every bar.

The people never know that the desarted place is the sole barrier protecting them from a place they only saw in their blackest dreams. The ruler who presids over that place is old, old as the very mountains that dot the ashen ground.

None that live there know his name, nor his race. They don't even know if he exists at all, or is just a lie from the mouths of the black-hided beasts who carry out the 'king's' orders. But ruled they are, the people.

The sun is unknown to them, as its bright, lifegiving, rays are unable to penetrate the wall of smoke hanging over the grim city. Children are born there, pale, wriathlike things, never to see sky nor grass. They will grow there, and they will die there, every one of them. Each will mine a little more rock, each will carry a little more stone, each will make the kingdom a little bit richer, a little bit more powerful.

For this is Hell.

Not the Hell from myth, not the place where those who performed evil deeds were tormented.

The is Hell for the people, the rulers as greedy as the Devil, as snake-tounged as the king of evil Himself. This is Hell on earth, for what else could it be, really? Joy is known there not, the luckless souls whose home that is are laborers.

Death visits there often, taking the old, the injured, the weak. The lucky ones. For life is a place of blood and sweat, tears and horror and suffering.

21-Jan-2007 14:08:53

Anne Lauten

Anne Lauten

Posts: 3,830 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
But slowly they are putting together an army. Their army will be clad in dimends, rubies will shine from their breastplates. Gems are nothing to them, dimends have no value except for their hardness. They will be a beautiful sight, yet they are deadly. They are as the winter morning, gleaming and perfect. You may look without harm, but if you lose yourself within them you will freeze. More snow will fall, soon covering your motionless corpse. In a while it will be perfect again, a luring, sparkling, wonderland for the next poor victim.

Soon their army will ride.

The white-robed figure, who is that? Will they make it to the land of sorrows, or become a lifeless thing, their soul sawllowed by a flaming surge? They could make a difference. They could overthrow the ruler, lead the people to green lands. Will they? Can they? Anyone could. Some are only a step away from it. Will that person, if indeed it is a person, stop the army? Maybe. We may never know until too late. But if one more person would try, than they might be that one. Even you. Even I.

The figure disappers from view, to far away for our feeble eyes to see.

Maybe we will follow them.

Someday.

Perhaps.

21-Jan-2007 14:09:16

[#MBU7YJWSL]

[#MBU7YJWSL]

Posts: 916 Gold Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
It's not as corny as you think, really. Plus, the vocabulary's beautiful.

I've found a few typos though, if I may point them out?

The lava froths, sending a fresh billow of steam to the surface. For a moment, the white-robed figure is hidden behind the cloud, but soon it reapp>>e<<rs. The steam boils forth from one of the many craters that pitt the charred, barren, landscape, rending it almost uncrossable, even by the tough adv>>e<<turers who b>>o<<st their exploits in nearly every bar.

The people never know that the des>>a<<rted place is the sole barrier protecting them from a place they only saw in their blackest dreams. The ruler who presi>>d<<s over that place is old, old as the very mountains that dot the ashen ground.

The sun is unknown to them, as its bright, lifegiving, rays are unable to penetrate the wall of smoke hanging over the grim city. Children are born there, pale, >>wriath<<like things, never to see sky nor grass.

The is Hell for the people, the rulers as greedy as the Devil, as snake->>tounged<< as the king of evil Himself.

But slowly they are putting together an army. Their army will be clad in >>dimends<<, rubies will shine from their breastplates. Gems are nothing to them, >>dimends<< have no value except for their hardness.

The white-robed figure, who is that? Will they make it to the land of sorrows, or become a lifeless thing, their soul >>sawllowed<< by a flaming surge?

The figure >>disappers<< from view, >>to<< far away for our feeble eyes to see.

22-Jan-2007 22:07:23 - Last edited on 22-Jan-2007 22:14:30 by [#MBU7YJWSL]

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