Forums
Family
Quick find code: 49-50-500-63187993
*DISCLAIMER* Kittyphantom has requested that I clarify that he has sent me here to make a post!
Generally I really like this. The attention to detail is fantastic (as expected
) and I do like how you added your own 'touch' (by that I am referring to the Herbal tea
) to Sir Tiffy without actually changing the actual character.
It's also a good start to a story that you'll *hopefully* keep adding installments too.
Just one thing, would referring to Sir Tiffy as a Knight be right? As that sounds like he is a White Knight. But I am not sure what else you'd call him anyway.
Generally I really like this. The attention to detail is fantastic (as expected
) and I do like how you added your own 'touch' (by that I am referring to the Herbal tea
) to Sir Tiffy without actually changing the actual character.
It's also a good start to a story that you'll *hopefully* keep adding installments too.
Just one thing, would referring to Sir Tiffy as a Knight be right? As that sounds like he is a White Knight. But I am not sure what else you'd call him anyway.
10-Sep-2011 14:48:35
*Kitty sent me too*
Well, my first impressions were of familiarity. The beginning is descriptive of my own mornings at work. Although instead of herbal tea, I would be sipping coffee, I do gaze across emerald grass to a pond with faint quacking. I do reflect upon my age and experience compared to my co-workers, and how nice it is working within the park... Footsteps often interrupt my reverie... Kitty get out of my head! (if anyone wonders, I'm a zookeeper.)
I hope you do continue with the story, I have a kinship with Tiffy now, and a need to know what happened to his poor brother!
Well, my first impressions were of familiarity. The beginning is descriptive of my own mornings at work. Although instead of herbal tea, I would be sipping coffee, I do gaze across emerald grass to a pond with faint quacking. I do reflect upon my age and experience compared to my co-workers, and how nice it is working within the park... Footsteps often interrupt my reverie... Kitty get out of my head! (if anyone wonders, I'm a zookeeper.)
I hope you do continue with the story, I have a kinship with Tiffy now, and a need to know what happened to his poor brother!
Someone move this cat.
10-Sep-2011 15:52:28
*DISCLAIMER* Kitty sent me too
Its very good, I must say. That's what its like every morning where I am, waking up. And I liked how you added some bits of character to the characters in this story.
Good for more, I'd say!
And, *for Aeolas, you can answer this too Kitty if you want
* Depending on how long ago. Some of us don't know when Sir Tiffy became a White or Temple Knight. Lets say 40 years. Dealing by his in-game appearance now, I think he's nearing 80 in age. Lets say he joined when he was 20.
Its very good, I must say. That's what its like every morning where I am, waking up. And I liked how you added some bits of character to the characters in this story.
Good for more, I'd say!
And, *for Aeolas, you can answer this too Kitty if you want
* Depending on how long ago. Some of us don't know when Sir Tiffy became a White or Temple Knight. Lets say 40 years. Dealing by his in-game appearance now, I think he's nearing 80 in age. Lets say he joined when he was 20.
10-Sep-2011 20:24:40 - Last edited on 10-Sep-2011 20:26:33 by Toa Takanuva
Pretty good with detail.
Though it always makes me feel uneasy when reading details of someone eating or drinking something.
If 'uneasy' is the word, I don't know...
I wonder who his brother could be, hmm.
@ Walter
Yeah, and when we finished Salt in the Wound the adventurer was just so happy he forgot to tell him, hmm?
Oh right, and Kitty sent me here also and also told me to put this in my post.
I see some others were told to do that as well.
You can only fully appreciate a story when you experience it through the eyes of one of its characters.
Though it always makes me feel uneasy when reading details of someone eating or drinking something.
If 'uneasy' is the word, I don't know...
I wonder who his brother could be, hmm.
@ Walter
Yeah, and when we finished Salt in the Wound the adventurer was just so happy he forgot to tell him, hmm?
Oh right, and Kitty sent me here also and also told me to put this in my post.
I see some others were told to do that as well.
You can only fully appreciate a story when you experience it through the eyes of one of its characters.
10-Sep-2011 20:57:22
--Disclaimer: I am Kittyphantom's friend and have been asked by him to post this review
--
Apart from the "adieu" error (which I'm mentioning here to remind you), I have several observations.
Firstly, I offer my congratulations. I do like the soothing language you use - the words were flowing pleasingly over my brain. It is, however, slightly marred in some places by the somewhat archaic language you hold to. For example, "Indeed, his position was almost enviable" is more suited to a dramatic piece in my opinion, and makes the writing a bit less smooth.
My neighbor's house is currently on fire, so I will add more to this post later.
--
Apart from the "adieu" error (which I'm mentioning here to remind you), I have several observations.
Firstly, I offer my congratulations. I do like the soothing language you use - the words were flowing pleasingly over my brain. It is, however, slightly marred in some places by the somewhat archaic language you hold to. For example, "Indeed, his position was almost enviable" is more suited to a dramatic piece in my opinion, and makes the writing a bit less smooth.
My neighbor's house is currently on fire, so I will add more to this post later.
11-Sep-2011 05:52:38
Good story, Kitty.
11-Sep-2011 07:40:15
Quick find code: 49-50-500-63187993 Back to Top