"No! I know exactly what you're going to try and tell me. That Carl's gone, that he's never coming back. That I should just let him go. He is coming back, and you can't prove to me otherwise!"
Sandra was quiet for a moment. Finally, she said softly, "What if he's dead?"
I couldn't answer that one. I glared at Sandra, snatched up my box, and took it to my room. As I left the kitchen, I saw her rest her head in her hands, muttering about how impossible I was.
She's got it all wrong. I focus on what is possible, while everyone else only sees one thing. Just because we haven't found Carl in two years doesn't mean he's dead. People have been missing for much longer than that, and been found.
My brother will be found. He'll come back to us. Dad will be his old wiseguy, fun-loving self again. We'll be a family again, taking care of each other.
And in the meantime, I'd do a fine job of taking care of myself.
I sat on my bed, pulling out the old pictures and looking over them again. Carl and me at the firing range, at karate with our uniforms on, playing baseball, pretending our bats were swords, goofing off for the camera.
Mom wasn't in any of the pictures. She was always the one taking them. Except for one. My favorite one, Carl and Mom playing chess, Carl one move from winning - and in the middle of turning the board around so Mom would win. Mom had her hands out, and was laughing, trying to say, "No, go ahead, you beat me!" Dad was in the middle, trying to keep all the pieces from falling off. And I was the one taking the picture, capturing a moment when we were all just being normal, having fun.
Some days I wonder if I'll ever be able to have fun again. Some days I wake up, and I forget. Then I remember, Mom's dead, Carl's gone. And it's just like losing them all over again.
I read over the letter. Some parts were too badly smudged or faded to read, but I filled it all in from memory.
14-Sep-2008 22:36:40
- Last edited on
19-Aug-2010 02:19:02
by
Ele Cambria