Plot - 45/70 - Okay, do your first few story posts grab the reader's attention and initialize a plot? If not, do you even have a plot??? A good plot makes up the basis of a good story.
The plot was exiting, but was too fast. Try to slow it down a bit, and describe some stuff, other than mindless slashing.
Spelling and Grammar - 5/30 - Based on your ability for grammer, not # of errors. I will be not very picky about what I find in there.
I found very many mistakes in every posts, simple grammer, espetialy the many spellings of "there". Now, I am not master of grammer, but I was very disapointed in this section.
Characters - 20/40 - Can your readers relate to your characters? Can your characters form a bond between themselves and the characters?
YOu had a couple of characters that didn't have a real poropse in the story, and the character development was squat, but I give you credit for finding at least a slight propose for them n the end
Description - 20/35 - Can we picture what you are talking about in your story? Is the imagery you present clear?
You were all about the action in this story, with very little regard for anything else. I saw some in the actions of people, but no picture of the suroundings. Picture people swinging swords and casting spells, on a white backround.
Originality - 25/40 - Does your story present any original or interesting qualities that differentiates itself from others?
Anything about the gods is hardly origonal, but The tablet peices and all the god armies was pretty origonal.
Individual Entertainment - 8/10 - Did I enjoy your story? This is the only opinionated part of the review.
Like I said, this story was all about faced paced action and plot, without anything else. Needless to say, it was pretty exiting, but the grammer mistakes slowed it down, and the fast paced plot made it confusing.
Total - 148/225 or 66%
You made writer!
•ï¡÷¡ï• Writer - of - the - Ancient - Scrolls •ï¡÷¡
10-Sep-2007 23:55:37
- Last edited on
10-Sep-2007 23:59:39
by
TurtleMasta5
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