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Fireheart449

Fireheart449

Posts: 1,028 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 23 The Reality of Ice Cream

A guy is clinging to me, dragging me down. He was one of the guys who had been forced to dig up rocks,--er, “mine coal and runite” (as Dawn would put it). His thanks, though I really do appreciate it, is just too much.

Finally, Redseed pries the guy off me and sends him scurrying to join the other freed noobs. We’re all on our way home. I’m trying to avoid Dawn. Well, she’s busy chatting with a woodcutting pal of hers. Fireheart and Bluestar are making cow eyes at each other. Lady Loor and Wolfbane are looking at each other in the same way. And me, I’m stuck between Cheesecracker and Hamlet who are arguing about the use of strength pots.

“It’s completely dishonorable,” Hamlet says with irritation.

Cheesecracker gives him a look. “What? All the high levels are using it. Potting helps."

*I thought pot was a drug.”

My companions glance at me in concern. “A drug?”

“What‘s a drug?” Hamlet asks.

“Hugs not drugs,” chimes in a random ranger, who continues to walk as we stop in confusion. Now that I think about it, I don’t where I came up with the word "drugs.” But it sounds naughty. And secretive.

A yell of rage freezes a group of us. From ahead of us, Fireheart cries out, “No! Watch out for that…” She trails off as Bob, the pet noob, twitches away from one of our mages standing on the outer edge of our army. The mage, in question, looks slightly baffled at this foiled attempt on his life.

“You noobs killed my master!” Bob wails. His dark eyes glitter with anger. “And I can’t even attack you guys! What is this? What’s up with this noob wilderness?”

Lady Lore laughs. The sound makes me twitch. I gotta get over her. Anytime now? But I can’t! It’s not that easy! I glance in Dawn’s direction. That crazy girl is smiling now. She should smile more often…unless it’s at someone else’s pain.

Dawn must have come to the same realization as Lady Lore has. “The rules have changed. Players can’t attack other players.”

27-Aug-2010 00:34:28

Fireheart449

Fireheart449

Posts: 1,028 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“Saradomin’s work.” Bluestar glances around appreciatively at the dark and gloomy wilderness. So, Zamorak’s hold over the area had been loosened just as it seemed that he would take over Saradomin’s domain. Talk about irony.

“Well, there are still monsters around,” Fireheart reminds us. Aw, she never lightens up, but I guess that’s what you need in a leader. “Let’s keep moving. Bob, you’re welcome to come with us.”

Welcome? Welcome that pet noob, who wants to kill us all? Maybe holding a grudge isn’t healthy, but how can she forget the way he adored Luxon? Bob thinks about it for a moment while the Luxon’s former slaves and the majority of our army start moving again. With all these interruptions, we’d never get back to Varrock.

But we manage to get to Varrock without anyone dying. Even Bob comes with us, calling anyone within earshot a “noob.” Everyone ignored him of course. Back in the Varrock Palace, I explain about the free shot Luxon gave me.

“Isn’t getting a god’s help, cheating?” I ask as an afterthought.

“Hardly,” replies Redseed, and he smiles. “Don’t question a blessing.”

“In the end, we were all Saradomin’s chosen ones,” Bluestar adds. “Right before the war ended, I felt this new strength. I knew we couldn’t be defeated.”

Oh well. So much for being special, but I guess being Saradomin’s sole Chosen One is a huge burden on only one person’s shoulders. I sigh, and Redseed tilts his head in surprise.

“Well, I think the gods have a special fate for you.”

“I’m going to die?” Special fate sounds unpleasant.

Bluestar ruffles my hair. “I won’t let you die, Freak.” I give him a disgruntled look while the others laugh.

“I mean,” Redseed continues, "that you may just be the hero Count Draynor is looking for.”

Sure, I faced a level one hundred and twenty-six, but hey, the guy was almost dead when I stuck my sword through him. The thought of facing a vampire gives me the heebie-jeebies. “Uh…do I have to face him right now?"

27-Aug-2010 00:35:34

Fireheart449

Fireheart449

Posts: 1,028 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Fireheart grins. “No. Train first. With time, you’ll learn everything. I’d love to see the day when you’re level one hundred and twenty-six.”

I ponder for a moment. Me, level one hundred and twenty-six? Would I change like Lord Luxon? I hold out a hand. “Promise me if I ever start becoming like Luxon that you’ll lock me up in jail.”

Bluestar, Redseed, Fireheart, Cheesecracker and Hamlet overlap their hands with mine. “Promise,” they agree. Hamlet removes his hand first, thinking.

“I hope they have room in the Port Sarim jail.”

“There’s always the one in Edgeville,” Cheesecracker points out.

“I said ‘if,’ not when.” They don’t even look sheepish as I stride from the room. I’m not really annoyed at them. I just need room to breathe. Outside the walls of Varrock Palace, I come to an abrupt stop, nearly tripping over a red imp. The wicked thing snickers at me, and I smack it over the head.

The imp disintegrates into ashes. Weird. But, among the ashes is a shiny yellow bead. It’s pretty. And suddenly I feel an urge to give it to someone: to someone as pretty as the bead. Oh, what a sappy fool I am! Worse, I’m not thinking about Lady Lore, but about Dawn! Maybe Luxon had knocked the wits out of my head?

“Where is she?”

“Where is who?” Kenshin appears not to notice the way I jump three feet as he comes up behind me. He’s wearing the whole lederhosen outfit now. Well, he looks interesting…

Embarrassed, I clear my throat and whisper, “Dawn.”

“Who?” Kenshin raises an eyebrow. He grins as Monty (looking less deranged than the last time I had seen him) strolls over and places an elbow on his shoulder.

“Dawn719,” I repeat softly.

“What is he saying?” Monty peers at his friend.

Kenshin shrugs. “Maybe he’s speaking noobish. The only thing I can understand in that language is ‘Phree stoof plox.’ Unfortunate, isn’t it?”

Monty nods gravely. “We should take a class in noobish.”

27-Aug-2010 00:36:31

Fireheart449

Fireheart449

Posts: 1,028 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“I said ‘Dawn719!’” I yell. I’m all out of breath now, and by their stupid grins, I can tell they’ve been messing with me.

“Why are you yelling my name?” After glaring at Kenshin and Monty, I turn to smile nervously at Dawn. She doesn’t look happy. Well, chances are, she doesn’t want people to know that we’re friends. Or acquaintances. Or whatever we are.

I lead her away from the two idiots grinning at us, but Dawn eventually plants her feet in front of the place where you can buy sticks…er, staffs. They all look the same to me. “Freak, where are we going?”

With a blush, I hold out the yellow bead. “For you.” She brings her nose close to the lovely bead, glances up at me with those lovelier tawny eyes and then straightens herself.

Using one finger, she pushes my hand with the bead into my chest. “You’ll need that. For a quest. A wizard keeps losing his beads. Wow, that sounds awkward.”

The innuendo goes over my head, but I’m mortified. Embarrassed. Ashamed. Horrified. Discomfited. Man, I feel like a thesaurus. “You sure?”

Dawn sighs. “You definitely need it more than I do.” She pokes my stomach, making me drop the bead, and catches it. While I wince over the ever-present lethality of her pokes, she slips the bead into my backpack.

As she walks away, I swear to the gods that I will get her a real gift! Something that she won’t push into my chest…

When Hamlet decides to go to Al Kharid (sounds exotic), I tag along. Maybe there’s something I can buy there. After all, according to Hamlet, it’s the land of profit. “Crafters tend to go there to make gold and silver items. Myself, I find crafting rather tedious,” Hamlet is muttering as we trek towards the desert city.

I’m only half-listening. Running past the dark wizards still frazzles me though Hamlet assures me that they’ll ignore us since we’re both higher levels now. Honestly, I don’t feel like a higher level. I don’t feel like a hero. I just feel like me…which isn’t always the best feeling in the world.

27-Aug-2010 00:37:22

Fireheart449

Fireheart449

Posts: 1,028 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“Hey, what’s with the long face? Love troubles?” Hamlet isn’t grinning though; he looks completely serious.

I want to wail and lament, weep and sob, and cry my heart out. Instead, I agree wearily, “Yeah. Love troubles.” You’d think that I’d learn the first time. Lady Lore has Wolfbane. Dawn is just not interested.

Hamlet leaves me, and I wander towards the general shop. Jiggling the bag of gp in my pocket, I enter the shop. Right before my eyes looms the perfect gift. The shopkeeper leers at me; he knows he’s got me. But it’s so shiny!

“How much?” I finger the prize on the shop table, and the shop assistant raps my fingers. Hard. Ouch.

“No touching,” she says snippily, and I pull my fingers back into the safe cocoon that’s my fist.

The shopkeeper looms over me. “756 gp.”

I half-wish I could find Hamlet, just to check that I’m not being ripped off, but…I hand over the money to the shopkeeper, who seems insanely happy to have money in his hands. The amulet is perfection; the white string is smooth, the emerald a faultless, shining oval.

“An emerald amulet?” Hamlet says when I run into him outside of the shop. “A memento of your lost love?” He’s giving me a tragic look now.

Well, um… “Huh?”

“It matches Lady Loor’s eyes.”

Hmm. I peer at the (oo, so shiny) emerald amulet. “I didn't think of it like that. I’m over her. Mostly…I know it’s not healthy to obsess over her.”

“No, then Wolfbane would kill you. I suppose death is rather unhealthy.” Hamlet punches my shoulder lightly, and I look at him in reproach. That kinda hurt. He doesn’t know his own strength.

“The amulet is for someone,” I proclaim. “Now I just have to find her.”

27-Aug-2010 00:38:14 - Last edited on 21-Oct-2010 03:28:29 by Fireheart449

Fireheart449

Fireheart449

Posts: 1,028 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Hamlet tilts his head and then “ooh”s in comprehension. I raise an eyebrow questioningly. He gives me a kooky grin and points to his right, past the general store building. I raise my other eyebrow. He stabs insistently towards the building right next to the general store and plate-leg shop, and I go, even while I’m not sure why Hamlet isn’t using words to communicate.

Inside the shop are two people. One, of course, is the female shopkeeper, who looks scandalized. “Young man…”

“Don’t worry. He’s probably lost,” Dawn tells her. She places her hands on her hips. “Freak, this is a place for selling and buying plate skirts. Do you want a skirt?”

I glance at my legs. "I think I’m happy with pants. So no."

"Good answer.” She seems relieved, but the shopkeeper is still looking at me with suspicion. “Not that I have anything against man-skirts.”

The shopkeeper gives a “humph” and retreats beneath a table. With the clanking of metal in the background, rather than traditional romantic music, I hold out my gift tenderly.

“I thought you might like it.” After all, it’s shiny. Who can resist shiny?

Dawn gives me a calculating look, snatches the amulet and closes her fist over it. As I wait for a heartfelt thank-you, she takes out a few runes from her pocket and waves them over the amulet. A golden glow blinds me for a few moments, and I blink like an idiot as she hands it back.

“Def ammy. You could use it…Well, see you, Freak.” Dawn peers over the counter at the shopkeeper. “Ranael, take good care of the addy skirt. I loved that thing.” She leaves the shop as happy as can be.

Aaah, why does she keep rejecting me? She loved a skirt…but not...What is love anyway? Suddenly, I feel a stare burn into my back. The shopkeeper, Ranael, has emerged from below her desk. Her paranoid look tells me I better leave. I guess she really doesn’t want guys to buy her skirts.

27-Aug-2010 00:39:17 - Last edited on 21-Oct-2010 03:29:02 by Fireheart449

Fireheart449

Fireheart449

Posts: 1,028 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“What’s up with the woman who sells plate-skirts?” I ask Hamlet, who’s counting the gp he’s earned so far. We’re loitering outside the general shop.

“She hates guys who wear skirts. Thinks they’re unnatural.” Hamlet looks up from his moola to answer. “Totally cexist. The breeze when you’re wearing a plate-skirt is like nothing you’ve experienced before.”

Uh…Not sure whether I want to feel a breeze down yonder, I stare at the defense amulet in my hand and sigh. Hamlet picks it up and scrutinizes it.

“She enchanted it for you. How nice,” he comments.

“Yeah.” Real nice. Why couldn’t she just take it? “Let’s go to the bank before I lose it.” Or drop it intentionally. Even on our trek to the bank, I can’t figure out why I feel so irrational and rejected.

Much to Hamlet’s dismay, we find Cheesecracker sitting on the steps to the bank. He’s fanning himself with one hand and glowering at the camel nearby. “It’s way too hot here,“ he mutters. “I wish I had ice cream.”

Hamlet scowls. “How did you get here so fast? I told you we were here thirty seconds ago.”

“Teleport. I’m done ruining my boots.”

“Walking is good exercise.”

Cheesecracker rolls his eyes. “Anyway, Freak, remember when you mentioned cookies?*

I think hard, probably twisting my face in the process. No, I don’t really. “Nope.”

He wiggles his eyebrows dramatically as if preparing to unveil a deep, dark secret. “Well, ice cream is from the same place as cookies. The real world.”

Hamlet gives me a concerned side glance. Has our friend gone insane? This is the real world, isn’t it?

“What is this then?” Hamlet demands.

“A game.” Cheesecracker’s words echo, and suddenly the world goes white.

A face looms over mine, and the first thing I realize is: it’s not made of pixels. I glance around, realizing that this is a public place because random people wouldn‘t be wandering around my home. It’s a convention, and the creature looking at me in disgust is my sister.

27-Aug-2010 00:41:29

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