Some ten years from now, despite the best efforts of doctors and nurses, the hundred of prayers uttered by relatives, I will have died on one Saturday morning. That day, as the consciousness faded, everything I once was receded into the everlasting darkness, never to return. But the warmth of the body had not yet gone, not quite, and so it was unclear exactly when I have passed away. Rapidly, the zones of red and yellow on the temperature scan shrunk towards the heart, its grounds replaced by blue and purple, then nothing. In the end it was all black, and the light must one day burn itself, exhaust what little is left of the soul, and fade.
Perhaps, in the final moments, I would understand what it really meant, to live. Life went quickly by, especially the bit that is worth living, and I knew that part was over a long time ago. Perhaps I would find myself in a dark tunnel, seeing blinding light at its end, although in reality it was simply an illusion, as brain cells, starved of oxygen, start to die and wither away. The path felt unusually cold, and lonely. By that time, I will have lost every friend I ever had, and come to realise that my family had always been there, loving me. Perhaps I was never loved in my life - but then at that point I ceased to care, except to wonder what might have been. There were tasks unfinished, feelings unresolved, regrets in their dozens. Perhaps in the end, I would know for certain that eternal life doesn’t exist.
By then, I would be a man who had lost everything that mattered to him. Everything I once was preserved only in memories of those who once knew me. And when they’re gone, I would have never existed, like billions before me. Unremarkable.
Isn’t it why we write stories? A part of ourselves preserved, so others could perhaps know us through text, through language. We could capture a moment in time, of who we are, what we are, and make an impact beyond the grave.
Or maybe, I’m just too afraid to admit that I’m a dying man.
12-Feb-2011 16:10:06
- Last edited on
11-Jan-2014 00:13:16
by
Englishkid62