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~~English's Forgotten Tales~~

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Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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~~Childhood~~

(September 2006)


Get this straight! I don’t play out. It’s bad for you and only naughty kids do it. I stay at home every day with my family in a small apartment which costs us a million dollars and it doesn’t even look shiny. I don’t go to parties (who needs them?) and I certainly will NOT snack. I hate rule-breakers, and I hate them because my parents told me to. I don’t touch the phone unless it’s about homework and I can’t go on games until I finish THIS.

I was given five pieces of homework today and all of them were due in tomorrow. I knew I was lucky. Five pieces of homework usually take me about two and a half hours to complete. All the more play time. My poor little sister, she needs about three…

I hate teachers; I hate them because they give us homework so effortlessly. Two words: do this, and you’ll find your day two hours shorter than normal.

I like computer games. For me it’s a bonus if I manage to do all the homework in that week (Can you believe that? You have to bring it to school as well, otherwise it’s doesn’t count), even though I’m only allowed on the computer for an hour at the weekends, it worth every minute of my hard work. Sadly, I have thirty pieces of homework in a typical week (extras at weekend), and I am always in the habit of missing one or two. After all, I’m only nine. What do you expect?

Our school starts at 13:30pm and it’s good because I can sleep till ten o’clock in the morning. We sing hymns in the assembly like angels in hell – and a sure hell at home if you find yourself wondering why your own writing on a piece of homework has vanished mysteriously…oooh spooky!

12-Feb-2011 16:10:17 - Last edited on 12-Feb-2011 17:14:59 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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Even the summer holidays are hell. Mummy will make us attend extra classes like cooking, swimming, volleyball, badminton, drawing, pottery crafting, balloon crafting, table tennis, chess, Go, as well my regular music lessons. Anyhow we were learning every single day, whether we liked it or not. For any day that went by without learning anything new is surely wasted. At least I like my music lessons, because I can sit in an air-conditioned lounge where I am safe from the punishing heat of summer.

On the last day of school, just before the summer, a workbook will be given to you in place of all the homework you will miss during your holiday – it is designed to occupy at least four hours of your time everyday and is said to be beneficial. These workbooks will be taken in by the teachers at the end of the holiday and if you have not completed it, you’re in big trouble! I wonder if the teachers actually mark them at all. Funny. Taking us a hundred and sixty hours to do and yet it takes less than three seconds for the teacher to bin…

‘No running in the front yard!’ the prefect shouted. He wasn’t shouting at me but I didn't care, his attitude annoyed me. I hate snobbish prefects who believe that they’re totally invincible. It’s not even like he gets paid at the end of the day – just the shiny green badge gets to stay.

‘Did you get that? Question number ten in that Maths homework?’ my mate Toby asked as he caught up with me on the playground. ‘Is it really the square root of five times the root of twenty equals ten…?’ He pulled an anxious look. It was break time – MY break time – and it was not a Maths lesson.

‘Well, I didn't know we had that page for homework,’ I sighed. ‘I missed it out completely – but I’ve done everything else though. I think you can find out more about surds in chapter twelve –’

12-Feb-2011 16:13:41 - Last edited on 12-Feb-2011 17:27:13 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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‘I thought we were only up to chapter nine!’ Toby said with disgust. ‘Why would she give us homework on chapter twelve?’

‘That’s not unusual,’ I shrugged. ‘They expect our parents to teach us everything we need to know in the previous year.’

‘WHAT?’

‘Why? Doesn’t your mum read you your textbook at night?’

‘No, of course not,’ Toby said. ‘My mum is working day and night; she barely has time for herself since my dad left us.’

‘Well, then you should’ve read through the whole book and done your own research last summer,’ I mused.

‘Like **** I would,’ Toby laughed.

I scowled at him.

‘It’s a joke, mate,’ Toby shrugged.

‘That’s not funny.’

‘Anyway, wanna come play badminton with me in the weekend, in the sports centre?’ Toby asked even though he knew what my answer was going to be. ‘We haven’t played for a while.’

‘Nah, I’m busy this weekend,’ I shook my head resolutely. ‘Anyway I wouldn’t stand a chance against you.’

‘You’re busy, that’s a surprise. What are you doing this weekend?’ he asked. He was heading for the snack bar and I stopped abruptly, refusing to step any closer. Toby looked at me, puzzled, and then nodded in realisation.

‘Hopefully, games,’ I replied. ‘I found out a way to hack through my dad’s pass(c)word on the computer.’

‘Wow, you’re obsessed!' Toby commented. ‘Games are bad for you mate, they do distract you from your education.’

‘Sure, and so do snacks.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘Anyway, if you’re really worried about question ten, why don’t you ask Betty?’

‘She didn't know.’

I wondered if there was anything Betty didn't know. She drew the entire standard deviation thingy on the board the other day and the teacher made us clap for her. She was the last person I knew who would score anything below a hundred in any exams she took.

At that moment the break time bell went and it meant that everyone had to stay where they were like everything had gone all freezy – only prefects can move, and that was why I hate them.

12-Feb-2011 16:13:42 - Last edited on 12-Feb-2011 17:27:44 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Posts: 9,782 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
‘Hands off the banister,’ another prefect shouted at me as we walked up the stairs. I wondered why these banisters were made in the first place if you weren’t even allowed use them.

I hated my class as well. Sometimes they chatted too much and it was not fair for the quiet people like me and Toby, when we got into trouble with them. One day a teacher barged in and told us that we just lost all our breaks for the next six months because we talked too loud.

I never talked in class because I thought I was being a good boy – and right now it seemed stupid to be a good boy. It seemed stupid to be quiet when everyone else was talking.

No reward for goodies.

Eventually, I brought my dad to school to sort it out after four months because I couldn’t stand it. It made me mad because the teacher who did this to us couldn’t remember giving any punishment of the kind at all, and so we were free the next day. Since then the teacher gave me dirty looks from time to time and it cost me a few grades – I began to receive a lot of ‘C’ grades for my homework and everyone else laughed at me for it. I got them all their breaks back though.

‘Number thirty-three, come and collect your science paper at the front.’ We were numbers, not names. I was the thirty-third person on the register, so she must be calling me.

Damn.

99/100

I began to check through the paper like mad and I found my mistake – I forgot to put a full stop at the end of my answer to question seven. While Toby waved his full marks paper at me with a grin on his face, Betty looked down on hers as if she wanted a hundred and twenty marks out of it if not more – for her neat writing.

‘99/100 or below see me after school.’

And let the torture begin.

It wasn’t too bad for me, only a thousand full stops, and I only had to stay until eight o’clock. I stabbed the paper like mad with my pen and I couldn’t believe the teacher actually counted them…

12-Feb-2011 16:13:42 - Last edited on 12-Feb-2011 17:19:26 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Posts: 9,782 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
That night, I told Mummy I couldn’t stand it anymore. Life was full of stress and horror. I said I couldn’t take it. I asked her if she could make the teachers stop being so mean to me, but she only smiled and turned away. I hope she’d do something about them though.

* * * * *

This place is SO cold but at least the air is fresh. It is cool and dry as if it lacks sentiment. Mummy said the air here was good for my lungs but it didn't even taste nice. We have had a long journey on the plane and we were impressed with what we saw when we got off: big airport, fancy dresses. This place is completely new for me – I am both excited and scared of what lay ahead. I really wanted to see yellow hair for a change, but it was very hard to leave behind everything I once knew. On the last day of school, I told Toby that he was a great friend and that I would always remember him. My class also made me a huge, colourful farewell card in secret during the week – the project was coordinated by my teacher and the card was presented on the day – then each of them signed the card in turn with their blessings for a safe journey and it almost made me cry. Here I am now. England – the homeland of white people.

White people were legendary – I’d only ever seen them on TV. Now, I was finally here to see these white creatures for real. Back home, it was considered an honour if you get to walk amongst white people, talk amongst them like an equal, and if I could do that it would be more than an amazing achievement. I should get to meet one, to examine one with my own eyes and to poke, to prod and to touch one with my own fingers to see if they were really human. Maybe when I got to know them I could ask and obtain a potion formula from them that would turn my hair yellow, whiten my skin and change my eye colour to blue, so that I could stick around their land and they wouldn’t even notice I was from another country. That’s what I wanted. I wanted to fit in.

12-Feb-2011 16:13:44 - Last edited on 12-Feb-2011 17:28:07 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Posts: 9,782 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
My first day in an English school was uneasy and I didn't like it. My hair colour was the strangest in our class and the teacher didn't even give us any homework. For a while I wondered if I was actually in a school. Finally, a piece of homework was set at the end of the week – I didn't even realise you could simply leave it on the table and run off before the teacher caught you, and get away with saying that you’ve lost it, with no consequences for your actions nor the task reassigned immediately. I used to get full marks in my English exams but now it was all nothing. I could barely communicate with anyone around me and I tried so hard to pick out what they were saying in a northern English accent. I was using nods, shakes and occasionally saying, ‘What?’

I didn't care what grade that would get me.

‘Are you from China?’ I nodded.

‘Are you stupid?’ I shook.

‘Well, I think you are.’ I ignored that.

‘Are you clever?’ Ah, a word that I knew from my exam, three years ago. Somehow the word ‘clever’ reminded me of Betty. I shook my head. I was not Betty, not in a million years.

‘Are you an idiot?’ Now, what is an ‘idiot’? It was not funny. It hadn’t been on any of my English papers before and I just didn't know what it meant. I couldn’t say, ‘I wasn’t taught this!’ Mmm. I had to try and figure out whether my classmate was being serious or not. The theory was that if he was serious, then what he was saying was not a bad thing and I should nod. I didn't think he was, so I went for a shake.

‘Are you a genius?’ Should I just nod? I was sick of deciding – besides, what could possibly go wrong?

12-Feb-2011 16:13:44 - Last edited on 12-Feb-2011 17:28:48 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Posts: 9,782 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
‘Are you a d***head?’ Not a clue. Who knows? Who cares? What does it even mean? Betty might know though, why don’t they ask her? I wanted to reply but I couldn’t. I wanted to speak English. It was just a guess – fifty-fifty. I nodded and he laughed. Uh-oh. Wrong decision. He asked me again and I ignored him. If he thought I would do it again, then he was so wrong…

About thirty people gathered around me the next day, and in the weeks after that, trying to get me to nod for the same question, or perhaps they’d ask some new questions, with a new set of rude terms that I never wanted to learn. I decided to shake my head to every single question: it was the safest option. I was not stupid, nor was I clever. I was nothing, and I would never nod to anything ever again.

If this person with orange hair doesn’t stop standing on my well-polished shoe on purpose, I’m sure I’m going to make him lick those muddy footprints off. I wish I had the guts to tell him to stop but I haven’t. As soon as I speak they’ll make fun of the way I talk for weeks, and weeks.

A girl walked past and said, ‘Hi *****.’

12-Feb-2011 16:14:00 - Last edited on 12-Feb-2011 17:23:23 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Posts: 9,782 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
‘Hi,’ I replied, thinking this was friendly. She pushed in just before me in the dinner queue as if nothing was violated. I was not stupid and this really wasn’t right. It shouldn’t take a brain half the size of mine to figure out that pushing-in was something that none of us should do. Maybe she believed she was all that mattered. I mean, the dinner queue was not that straight anyway but the English teachers didn't care about these things. This girl should’ve lost all her breaks for the entire year but there was no justice here. Or at least not in my sense. Anyhow, whatever the justice here was, it wasn’t doing me any favours at all. Maybe I should go to chess club, and beat a few people before coming back at the end of the lunch hour. Most people have lunch before going to play chess and this means that I’ll always eat alone in the canteen at the end. Better that than facing the unpleasantness of queuing. I still get push-ins though just at the point of being served. Doesn’t that bug you when the dinner lady doesn’t acknowledge your presence when you’re hungry?

As always, I was having dinner on my own. It wasn’t like I hadn’t tried joining other people, and when I did they'd look at me, shocked, bewildered, and they’d scream, ‘What are you DOING?’

Never mind that. It’s not like I belong here. I belong over THERE with my exams. My seat is poisoned and so are the chairs near mine. People moan at my presence. My existence gives English people so much misery. I want to fit in. That’s all I wanted. I want to be one of them. Is that so much to ask?

When a group of students turned up at my table and told me to ‘move’ out of their way, I barely made a noise and left with my dinner tray, even if there were just three of them and one of me and six chairs available. I’m so sorry.

12-Feb-2011 16:14:00 - Last edited on 12-Feb-2011 17:29:14 by Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Posts: 9,782 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I remembered there were times when I was cornered by five other boys in my year, kicking water at me. I remembered there were times when people kept sticking their middle finger right in my face and I didn't know what it meant. Something rude, perhaps. I believed I eventually got used to it. People told me to shut up all the time before I even made my first sound as if I was not meant to speak, like I was not allowed to speak. Maybe I got the accent wrong? How could I improve my accent if my right to speak was denied? Or am I not meant to make a sound at all? Was my purpose here to stay and to spend my money and become nothing in their eyes?

Perhaps I was nothing. Perhaps they were right and I was not worth their company. I had no right to make others miserable because of my own misfortune. I had no right to trouble anyone in my school with my clumsy presence. I should, in fact, take pride and joy when others were happy. I should be grateful of my environment and I should be grateful for their presence. I should forever celebrate those who experienced the joy that I never knew. Often, I saw happy white people in my school, and I wanted those laughs for myself. I wanted to laugh with them. I wanted to be their friends and I wanted to fit in, to walk amongst them like an equal. Their laughter was addictive to my ears. I live to hear them laugh – I feed on their laughter. I was sucking, leeching on the very happiness of my own host - it was as if I was feasting on the very innocence they possessed. The innocence that they took from me.

I missed all the surds and spearman’s rank because all I got here were simple additions and subtractions. There was no challenge, no boundaries. There were no rules, no order, and no justice. My workbook for the summer from my old school remained untouched in the corner of my room. My English had not improved. I learnt a new word though – it was ‘bullying’.

Then I realised there is this one thing that I can never have…

12-Feb-2011 16:21:24 - Last edited on 12-Feb-2011 17:30:14 by Englishkid62

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