forums.rs

Forums

Abu-Bakr

Quick find code: 49-50-323-59115273

of 30
Resoun

Resoun

Posts: 671 Steel Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I first started reading this story in July or August.
I liked it then.
I like it even -more- now.
With my latest read I find the story is becoming more engrossing. In particular I like your command of the patterns of speaking. The dialog feels for the most part natural and a part of the region.
Your characters bring out real emotion in their voices, a difficult thing for an author to do!
I will continue to look for more of your work.
-=Resoun=-
We must all learn to embrace our own inner newbishness

26-Dec-2009 23:39:56 - Last edited on 27-Dec-2009 02:37:45 by Resoun

The Level

The Level

Posts: 8,999 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
First thing I'm going to say, this is about thirty times better than what parts of TBNS I've read: namely the first four chapters. This is so much better than it, you have improved quite a bit since I left.
Be proud, sir.
I love this story; I've always been fascinated by desert-y type stories, especially the kind where they're facing peril. Which is... nevermind, getting offtrack.
I like it, I like it a lot.
Put me down as a fan, if you even have a list or whatever.
When I have the time, I'll give you an actual review.
- Level -

06-Jan-2010 23:37:30

Smok Taunter

Smok Taunter

Posts: 58,110 Emerald Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
In the Desert Ghost’s service
Many a knight who pledged fanatical service will devout his life to that cause, he will give his blood to it and will only leave when he dies or is unfit. He will expected to serve in strong zealotism until the end. But even then he may try to play a role in this cause. Being captive to and acting in service to another was not something a knight would do. His oaths of fealty to a master required him to serve that master and the cloth.
Millard was not yet to give up his vows, even if his lord lay dead in the desert, lying in the golden sands. Vultures at his flesh and arrows protruding from his body like branches from the tree; he still felt service to this man and those that shared his position and cause. He was not ready to go into the services of another man, to throw away his oath and disgrace his name. He must stand tall and die under the oaths he took and not one to a new man.
It is this faith and loyalties that helped push him to hatred for his captors. He sat upright, tied to a post. His hood was removed allowing him to see the man that guarded him. Millard’s constant and burning glare was set upon that one man. This one figure regarded him with an equal stare.
He wore a suit of splint mail. Over that an emerald green tunic adorned with white flowery patterns adorned it. An open faced helmet rested atop his head, a metal plate hung down from the back guarding the rear of the head and neck. A plum of horse hair struck up from the crown of his helmet.

17-Jan-2010 19:06:47

Smok Taunter

Smok Taunter

Posts: 58,110 Emerald Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The guardsman held in his hand a long sword that lay laxly in his grip. Not curved as are the scimitars of the desert but straight like the blades of the north. But the entire makeup of the sword was not the same, true the blade was a cousin to the north but the handle was a foreign child. It was a brass mass, covered in the distinct vulgar patterning of the desert. The metal twisted and rounded around itself like sand-dunes. A blot of blood red of glazed ceramic rested in the pummel and shone like a cheap crystal.
The room where they sat was dark and musty. Narrow windows ran along the top of the wall, near to where it became the ceiling. From these shafts of hot light shone through putting lighted rectangles onto the floor of the room. The floors themselves were dirt covered over with straw. It would be considered a stable if it had the stalls, replacing the obvious lack of stalls were stacks of crates and barrels.
A small plate of untouched food sat before Millard’s slowly shrinking body. The contents of the pewter plate growing a collection of mold and providing a one-stop food source for flies. The food was untouched because of suspicions Millard had for the men that held him. He feared poison, which he held as an unfit way for him to die. In his beliefs – reinforced by the propaganda and military service of his nation – he would rather starve then ingest a deadly toxin.
Millard was kept in this dark and musty room since he was brought here. He had no idea of what happened to DeLoren, or where he was or what they did to them. Abu frequented him in an attempt to charm him into entering his trap. But he did*’t know that he, Johnson Millard had no plans to readily betray Varrock and its lords.

17-Jan-2010 19:07:08

Quick find code: 49-50-323-59115273 Back to Top