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~` Illusions `~

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Ik oClock

Posts: 7,198 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

bump, to make everyone read this story

24-Jan-2009 16:52:36 - Last edited on 24-Jan-2009 16:52:56 by Ik oClock

[#WIK7YQF0Z]

Posts: 2,189 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

I shall try to catch up.

24-Jan-2009 23:33:09

Sirapyro

Posts: 10,736 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

bump Join The Questing Clan of RuneScape! !

26-Jan-2009 03:41:21

Sirapyro

Posts: 10,736 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

bump Join The Questing Clan of RuneScape! !

31-Jan-2009 03:09:16

CaptChekaka

Posts: 35,595 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

I may not have gotten the length I wanted in the timeframe I wanted, but I'll keep on writing! Chapter Seventeen is almost done and should be posted within the next few days.

-- Chek

31-Jan-2009 22:10:29

Cozmic

Posts: 16,435 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

bookmarked.

01-Feb-2009 18:23:05

Cozmic

Posts: 16,435 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

~~~~ Prologue ~~~~

Not much to say here, but it is intriguing and well done.

~~~~ Chapter I ~~~~

Hmmmm... nice description of the throne room and king Rezod, but still the first scene seems a bit... rushed, and perhaps even a tad cliche. The concept of a rebellion vs empire, especially one with a very tall and seemingly violent king has been used before, and same with the concept of the "ultimate power" the advisor hints at.

Also when the advisor mentioned "The other force" I think that you should have left their objective remain hidden for the time being.

*more coming*

01-Feb-2009 19:00:13 - Last edited on 01-Feb-2009 19:00:26 by Cozmic

Wizard Alex

Posts: 9,283 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Council member Wizzy here.

Bookmarked.

02-Feb-2009 01:46:39

97swiftarm

Posts: 6,533 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

*Sobs*

Bookmarked.

And, just for the record, I hate you.

02-Feb-2009 01:53:22

CaptChekaka

Posts: 35,595 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

It's quite cliche, actually. I use the rebellion, but it doesn't play a major part as it goes along. It's merely a catalyst for later events. ^_^

^_^

Argh. So little time...

Thanks, Wiz.
And, Die: I love you!

-- Chek

02-Feb-2009 04:31:46

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