~~~~ Prologue ~~~~
Not much to say here, but it is intriguing and well done.
~~~~ Chapter I ~~~~
Hmmmm... nice description of the throne room and king Rezod, but still the first scene seems a bit... rushed, and perhaps even a tad cliche. The concept of a rebellion vs empire, especially one with a very tall and seemingly violent king has been used before, and same with the concept of the "ultimate power" the advisor hints at.
Also when the advisor mentioned "The other force" I think that you should have left their objective remain hidden for the time being.
*more coming*
01-Feb-2009 19:00:13
- Last edited on
01-Feb-2009 19:00:26
by
Cozmic