Post 1- “for their strength certainty makes up for what they may lack in thought.”
“Certainty” to “Certainly.”
Post 2- Long with this, a crudely-made pair of pants hung loosely from its waist,
“Long” To “Along.”
Post 3- “In reaction, the beast stumbled backwards and pulled his reach back from the much smaller men, confused at the attack which had been dealt.”
“Which to that?”
Post 3- “Realizing the opportunity, Anthoni dropped his shield and ran forward with his blade. He hopped on top of his larger foe and quickly maneuvered himself in front of its eyes.”
How did he manage to do that…?
Post 3- “but the giant then stopped all movement and it took a long, deep breath; it fell into death’s grasp.”
Doesn’t sound too good. Revision?
Post 4- ““Come out,” he ordered, not taking his eyes off of the unseen attacker.”
He’s not taking his eyes off an unseen attacker?
Post 5- “peace, while the older advisor that accompanied him fell into his makeshift bed,”
“Into” to “onto” I’m guessing.
Post 5- “Jacob stopped for a moment and pondered the situation: they could find a path, which may take a few extra hours,”
Change the colon to a period, It sounds better.
Post 5- “The decision would be a major one, and Jacob through strongly on the subject before standing and replying.”
“Through” to “thought?” The sentence needs revising too.
Post 6- "Although it may take longer, I’d rather camp overnight a second time than meet some ill-fated demon deep within the forest.”
Ill-fated isn’t exactly the right word.
Post 6- “Kind Rezod doused his face with cool water before watching his reflection grow clamed”
Clamed?
You seem to have become slothful in your revising skills.
Not bad, though the 'wizard banishment' thing was a little clichè. Oh well. Keep writing.
“Certainty” to “Certainly.”
Post 2- Long with this, a crudely-made pair of pants hung loosely from its waist,
“Long” To “Along.”
Post 3- “In reaction, the beast stumbled backwards and pulled his reach back from the much smaller men, confused at the attack which had been dealt.”
“Which to that?”
Post 3- “Realizing the opportunity, Anthoni dropped his shield and ran forward with his blade. He hopped on top of his larger foe and quickly maneuvered himself in front of its eyes.”
How did he manage to do that…?
Post 3- “but the giant then stopped all movement and it took a long, deep breath; it fell into death’s grasp.”
Doesn’t sound too good. Revision?
Post 4- ““Come out,” he ordered, not taking his eyes off of the unseen attacker.”
He’s not taking his eyes off an unseen attacker?
Post 5- “peace, while the older advisor that accompanied him fell into his makeshift bed,”
“Into” to “onto” I’m guessing.
Post 5- “Jacob stopped for a moment and pondered the situation: they could find a path, which may take a few extra hours,”
Change the colon to a period, It sounds better.
Post 5- “The decision would be a major one, and Jacob through strongly on the subject before standing and replying.”
“Through” to “thought?” The sentence needs revising too.
Post 6- "Although it may take longer, I’d rather camp overnight a second time than meet some ill-fated demon deep within the forest.”
Ill-fated isn’t exactly the right word.
Post 6- “Kind Rezod doused his face with cool water before watching his reflection grow clamed”
Clamed?
You seem to have become slothful in your revising skills.
Not bad, though the 'wizard banishment' thing was a little clichè. Oh well. Keep writing.
03-Jan-2009 14:41:16