Oh gods. I seriously lol'ed while reading this.
At the part where the drunken man coughs then savior thinks he is having a heart attack and beats him up with a shovel, sets him on fire, and kicks his head in made me rofl so bad!
One fo the best stories ever!
some1 help me...if we tie up capt and lock him in a room with a laptop he will have no choice but to write the story out of boredom muahahhahahahah yes....its brilliant! it cant fail