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A Tale of Two Noobs

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D F Angel

D F Angel

Posts: 19,587 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter Eight: Prison Break

Jeff the Rat: how we gunna rescue story noob blad?
RP Noob: By busting him out of Draynor Prison
Jeff the rat: ere m8 i kno sum gud guys who went there, its tuff security man
** Noob: thats why im gathering a crack squad of RPers
Jeff the rat: but these guards are lvl 26 theyll hook you in the gabber
RP Noob: like being outmatched has ever stopped an RPer from fighting before

[Enter RP Noob's crack squad: Rozas Noob, Ril Noob, Noob Serval, NoobyJ and Annoob1227]
[the theme for this chapter is Eye of the Tiger]

RP Noob: okay fellas whats the plan
Ro*as Noob: first we need disguises
R* Noob: Yes!
Rozas Noob: i suggest we dress up as women
** Noob: what
***** Noob: with modest, C-cup busts
** Noob: modest?
Rozas Noob: the modesty of the c-cup bust is essential
R* Noob: im not sure about this. any other ideas?
Rozas Noob: instead we could have small and firm rears that most would call perfectly sq-
RP Noob: any other ideas from anyone that isn't rozas?
Ril Noob: i've got one!
RP Noob: okay Ril, what is it?
Ril Noob: We hire a team of orcs
R* Noob: right...
Ril Noob: We let them go two weeks without seeing a woman
R* Noob: Uh...
Ril Noob: And then we send them at the prison!
RP Noob: are you suggesting what i think your* suggesting?
Ril Noob: yes
Ro*as Noob: i wish i was a prison guard
R* Noob: okay, uh, Noob Serval?
Noob Serval: im slammed with homework!
RP Noob: right, noobyJ?
Nooby J & Annoob1227: noobs!
RP Noob: yes?
NoobyJ & Annoob1227: ur all noobs!!!!
RP Noob: i know thats kinda the point
NoobyJ & Annoob1227: wow it sure is inactive in here!
Ril Noob: Why does NoobyJ and Annoob1227 talk at the same time?
NoobyJ & Annoob1227: its not because we're the same person
Ril Noob: I never said that
NoobyJ: ...
Annoob1227: ...
Ril Noob: ...
NoobyJ: noobs
R* Noob: okay, i think its going to take more than one chapter to pull THIS off... Hags be hagglin', gods be god damn crazy, it's all happening ogre at Into The Fire

27-Sep-2015 20:15:07

D F Angel

D F Angel

Posts: 19,587 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter Nine: The Great Escape

*the theme for this chapter is also Eye of the Tiger]

Annoob1227: Hi everyone!
Jail Guard: We're the only two people here
Annoob1227: Hi Jail! how r u?
Jail Guard: I'm not too bad, yourself?
Annoob1227: wow its so quiet in here!
Jail Guard: We were literally just talking
Annoob1227: i wonder where everyone is
Jail Guard: Uh, I'm here, Will and Jonny are around the back, Story Noob is in Cell 3, and-
Annoob1227: lets rp!
Jail Guard: Are you reading your responses from a script?
Annoob1227: maybe

[hidden behind nearby camel]
RP Noob: She did it! We now know where story noob is
Ril Noob: excellent disguise btw rozas
Ro*as Noob (inside camel costume): ty
R* Noob: okay Ril, Rozas, you guys distract the guards around the back
Ril & Rozas Noob: on it!

[Ril and Rozas go around back, Ril starts ******* camel]
Ril Noob: I feel like there's a pun in here somewhere
Joric: ;)

[meanwhile]
Annoob1227: im so board!
Plank: Me too
Jail Guard: Anyway kid, you shouldn't be here, clear off
Annoob1227: im not a kid!
NoobyJ: noob!
Jail Guard: Excuse me?
NoobyJ: You guys are all NOOBS!
Jail Guard: Is that supposed to offend me?
NoobyJ: Is this place dead?
Jail Guard: YOU DARE INSINUATE OUR PRISON SYSTEM IS LAX? [stabs NoobyJ]
Annoob1227: Ouch!
Jail Guard: What?
Annoob1227: I mean... [clears throat]
NoobyJ: ... Ouch.

[RP Noob sneaks in whilst guards are distracted]

Story Noob: RP Noob!
RP Noob: sup bro
Story Noob: you've got to get me out of here!
RP Noob: uh, why else would i be here?
Story Noob: like I'd know, you RPers make up everything as you go along
** Noob: thats not true! [adds spider power to bio]
Story Noob: just open the door
Prince Ali: And rescue me too! I am a prince! I will make you rich!
RP Noob: haha, nice try Nigerian, i wont fall for that one again!
Prince Ali: I'm not black Hags be hagglin', gods be god damn crazy, it's all happening ogre at Into The Fire

27-Sep-2015 20:16:23

D F Angel

D F Angel

Posts: 19,587 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
RP Noob: racist!
Story Noob: r3p047eD
** Noob: called the cops
Story Noob: you didn't really, did you?
RP Noob: yeah why?

[cops burst in]
RP Noob: oops
White policeman: Everybody freeze! [kills Prince Ali] Crisis averted
Story Noob: is a noob story really the right place for social satire?
White policeman: The way this thing's written, you'll be lucky to get any satire at all
Story Noob: yowch
[door smashes open*
Noob Serval: Guys, I finished my homework!
*Noob Serval kills cops, opens Story Noob's cell, teleports them to Lumby and flies off into the sunset]
Story Noob: wow
** Noob: i didnt even get to ask her if she wanted to timeskip with me
Jeff the rat: i'll timeskip with you
R* Noob: um Hags be hagglin', gods be god damn crazy, it's all happening ogre at Into The Fire

27-Sep-2015 20:17:07

D F Angel

D F Angel

Posts: 19,587 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter Ten: Ruminations

R* Noob: ten chapters! seems like yesterday when chapter one was written
Story Noob: It was
R* Noob: those were the days, eh?
Story Noob: indeed they were
R* Noob: we had a good run, story noob
Story Noob: who says it ends here?
RP Noob: what do you mean?
Story Noob: We don't have to say goodbye! We can just bump this thread!
RP Noob: for how long?
Story Noob: for years and years! The less actual story content, the more vigorously we'll bump it!
RP Noob: and add extra content to the story with each bump?
Story Noob: pfft, of course not
R* Noob: youre a strange one, Story Noob, but I like you
Story Noob: I like you too, RP. You're like an illiterate younger brother
RP Noob: That's no way to talk about Ingame RPing Noob
Ingame RP Noob: qwerey*gartjasbf
Story Noob: Sh- should we get him help?
RP Noob: he's beyond helping, just let it die bro. let it die.
Story Noob: So now what?
RP Noob: We slightly alter the backstory of the antagonist and do the same thing again
Story Noob: Really?
RP Noob: That's always been the way in RP
Story Noob: Did we even have an antagonist?
RP Noob: Uh... I think NotFishing counts?
Story Noob: Yeah, f*** that guy

Fin. Hags be hagglin', gods be god damn crazy, it's all happening ogre at Into The Fire

27-Sep-2015 20:17:22

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