Review of: “Elite Noob” by Lance Tiger
~ Note: This is my first noob/script review ever, so please, go easy on criticisms! ~
~ Note: The following review consists of my opinions and my opinions ONLY. They should NOT be taken offensively, as they are not intended to be. ~
*Mechanics- 35/40 points
For a scripted story, your mechanics were done very well. I could easily read everything, and the double spacing definitely helped. There are a couple of instances of minor errors that still should have been corrected, but there was nothing major, and nothing that you need to worry about. Excellent!
*Plot- 50/60 points
This was story was still pretty random, but you did manage to throw in a coherent plot-line, though it does bounce around between like 10 different conflicts. I think that it might be good to tone-down the random-ness a little bit, but it is actually pretty good.
*Characters- 30/40 points
I really enjoyed the difference between John and Elite Noob, and you did a good job avoiding the three-noob story. The gods were pretty funny as well, and the cats were a lot of fun. I think that you could still stand to vary personalities a little bit, but, then again, this is a noob story.
*Comedy- 50/70 points
Surprisingly enough, I did laugh at several parts in this story. There were enough of these that I’d say it is still pretty funny, but a lot of the story was still random. I really think that you should attempt to throw in more real jokes, because being random isn’t the funniest thing that you could have done.
*Description- 30/40 points
Descriptions were limited mostly to the asterisk-ed things that you mentioned, and they were usually just you narrating the actions. However, some of the things like ‘Soon-to-be-Ex Cook of Lumbridge’ were pretty good descriptions, funny even, and they helped to make up for your lack of description elsewhere.
24-Jul-2007 20:19:59
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