"IF YOU DONT LIKE THE STORY, DONT READ IT"
Wouldn't that be hard?
I mean, you'd have to read it in order to discover you don't like it so then you'd have broken your own rule.
"Spooky voice: John is no longer among us!
Elite Noob: Aaah! Its a vacum cleaner!
Spooky voice: I am not a vacum cleaner!
Elite Noob: AUGH! Its a vacum cleaner in denial!"
Pure. Absolute. Genious.