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Living Soul
Dec Member 2023

Living Soul

Posts: 2,441 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Hi have a randomly generated story:
It all started when our uber geek, Basey, woke up in a foxy forest. It was the sixth time it had happened. Feeling abnormally exasperated, Basey slapped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved Clue Scroll was missing! Immediately he called his bed-friend, Boris the pet snail. Basey had known Boris the pet snail for (plus or minus) 20 years, the majority of which were eccentric ones. Boris the pet snail was unique. He was intelligent though sometimes a little... insensitive. Basey called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Boris the pet snail picked up to a very nervous Basey. Boris the pet snail calmly assured him that most legless puppies grimace before mating, yet legless puppies usually sassily panic *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Basey. Why was Boris the pet snail trying to distract Basey? Because he had snuck out from Basey's with the Clue Scroll only three days prior. It was a curious little Clue Scroll... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Basey got back to the subject at hand: his Clue Scroll. Boris the pet snail sighed. Relunctantly, Boris the pet snail invited him over, assuring him they'd find the Clue Scroll. Basey grabbed his hammock and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Boris the pet snail realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the Clue Scroll and he had to do it carefully. He figured that if Basey took the magic flying carpet, he had take at least eight minutes before Basey would get there. But if he took the Unicorn? Then Boris the pet snail would be very screwed.
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Idk why I'm playing RS3 again, send help

OSRS Acc: Bed

18-May-2014 10:53:50

Living Soul
Dec Member 2023

Living Soul

Posts: 2,441 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Boris the pet snail was interrupted by two clueless Goblins that were lured by his Clue Scroll. Boris the pet snail sighed; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling displeased, he skillfully reached for his potato and aimlessly groped every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the haunted thicket, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Unicorn rolling up. It was Basey.

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Egg Roll King to pick up a 12-pack of live hand grenades, so he knew he was running late. With a deft leap, Basey was out of the Unicorn and went scandalously jaunting toward Boris the pet snail's front door. Meanwhile inside, Boris the pet snail was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the Clue Scroll into a box of ninja stars and then slid the box behind his giraffe. Boris the pet snail was displeased but at least the Clue Scroll was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Boris the pet snail explosively purred. With a inept push, Basey opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some dimwitted social outcast in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Boris the pet snail assured him. Basey took a seat uncomfortably close to where Boris the pet snail had hidden the Clue Scroll. Boris the pet snail shuddered trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Basey was distracted. A few freaknasty minutes later, Boris the pet snail noticed a oafish look on Basey's face. Basey slowly opened his mouth to speak.
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Idk why I'm playing RS3 again, send help

OSRS Acc: Bed

18-May-2014 10:54:00

Living Soul
Dec Member 2023

Living Soul

Posts: 2,441 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
'...What's that smell?'

Boris the pet snail felt a stabbing pain in his taint when Basey asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the Clue Scroll right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A abrasive look started to form on Basey's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's live hand grenades from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Basey nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Boris the pet snail could react, Basey thoughtfully lunged toward the box and opened it. The Clue Scroll was plainly in view.

Basey stared at Boris the pet snail for what what must've been nine days. Suddenly inspired by the wise teachings of Confuscious, Boris the pet snail groped charismatically in Basey's direction, clearly desperate. Basey grabbed the Clue Scroll and bolted for the door. It was locked. Boris the pet snail let out a exotic chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Basey,' he rebuked. Boris the pet snail always had been a little annoying, so Basey knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Boris the pet snail did something crazy, like... start chucking potatos at him or something. Before anyone could take off their pants, he gripped his Clue Scroll tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Boris the pet snail looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Basey. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame nine days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Basey. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Boris the pet snail walked over to the window and looked down. Basey was gone.
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Idk why I'm playing RS3 again, send help

OSRS Acc: Bed

18-May-2014 10:54:17

Living Soul
Dec Member 2023

Living Soul

Posts: 2,441 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Just yonder, Basey was struggling to make his way through the haunted thicket behind Boris the pet snail's place. Basey had severely hurt his kidney during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Goblins suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Clue Scroll. One by one they latched on to Basey. Already weakened from his injury, Basey yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Goblins running off with his Clue Scroll.

But then God came down with His charismatic smile and restored Basey's Clue Scroll. Feeling frustrated, God smote the Goblins for their injustice. Then He got in His amphibious vehicle and whizzed away with the fortitude of 1.2 billion 3-legged wallabies running from a oversized pack of Indonesian devil cats. Basey stumbled with joy when he saw this. His Clue Scroll was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, HLF noobs, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When long-haired sea monkeys meet gun'). Basey was contented. And so, everyone except Boris the pet snail and a few ebola-toting spotted wolf hamsters lived blissfully happy, forever after.

The End.
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Idk why I'm playing RS3 again, send help

OSRS Acc: Bed

18-May-2014 10:54:41

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