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Averia Light

Averia Light

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Ooo_Jin_ooO said :
One month on! this is a lot harder than solo
Nex
LoL
.

Haha...

No one says anything at first, because we all know the hormone-fueled utopia that is the first 1-2 weeks. Everyone experiences the same "lol this is easy" feeling, but very few have babies that actually stay easy.

They kind of "wake up" at 4 weeks. Look up "fourth trimester" and join the r/parenting reddit. The truth is that most parents hate the "fourth trimester".

A quick run-down of common suggestions:

First and foremost, if you have an ego about being a perfect parent and not needing any help, now would be the time to drop the ego. If you don't have a support circle you can use, buy help. Night nannies exist. In any case, use your support circle often and without shame.

Colic, if your child has it, typically kicks in at 6 weeks and ends by 4 months BUT, if you do get colic, the rest of parenting to at least 3 is a BREEZE in comparison. (My kid's was particularly bad and she also woke up every 45 minutes - day or night for 3 straight months...and I had 0 help.) And, yes, colic doesn't mean an impossible baby forever. Mine was actually extremely easy after the 4th month.

Oh yeah, then there are sleep regressions. Read up on those. Good times.

You will likely worry about milestones. This is completely normal and you will look back and lol at how obsessed you were. Try to sleep instead of worrying about them.

Fed is best. If breast-feeding isn't working, don't go crazy over it. No one is going to know who was breast-fed or bottle fed at graduation (I was EBF, but it doesn't matter).

Some parents swear by the 5 S's. It never worked for me, but, again, mine had colic.

You will make mistakes. Repeat this at least 10 times. As long as it isn't abuse or neglect, it will be ok. Give yourself (and presumably your partner) a lot of grace. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

14-Jun-2020 04:07:54 - Last edited on 14-Jun-2020 04:29:17 by Averia Light

Averia Light

Averia Light

Posts: 28,508 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
TL;DR: You are in what a lot of parents call the "fourth trimester". And, if you are not a newborn type of person, it sucks, even without the dreaded colic. BUT, don't worry, everyone has a favorite stage (or stages), and newborn just isn't yours!

Edit: Oh yeah, and a lot of other new parents are insecure - and some never grow out of this insecurity. Unfortunately, these holier-than-thou parents definitely do exist and the only thing you can really do is just smile at them, say "that's great" and move on.

If you pay them any attention, they will use the opportunity to tell you how their kids are so much better than yours and how they are so much better than every other parent. Other sayings insecure parents like to say is "gosh, I don't understand why others have issues with x, it is easy!" Or some other variation of this. Just smile and say something like "yeah, I heard lots of people struggle with x" instead of really engaging in conversation. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

14-Jun-2020 04:11:02 - Last edited on 14-Jun-2020 04:42:33 by Averia Light

Theos
Aug
fmod Member
2008

Theos

Forum Moderator Posts: 23,574 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Congratulations.

Waking up every 2 hours is rough at first, but enjoy every part of the journey. They really do grow up so quickly. :) I have a 2, almost 3 year old now.
Forum Moderator

12-May-2021 20:27:47

Megycal
Sep Member 2005

Megycal

Posts: 18,097 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Aww. Happy birthday to your little one. Children are hard work but also fun. You see the world anew through their eyes.
I remember how my eldest son reacted the first time he walked on snow at around 21 months of age. When I say walk he actually didn't want to move, lol, I had to coax him to take a few steps. The snow wasn't very deep, maybe 2.5 cm/1 inch, and I held on to his hand to make sure he didn't fall over. It took quite a while before he was happy walking on that strange white stuff. :)
edit to add: they grow up so fast. My youngest son is due to get married in a few months *fingers crossed* and it doesn't seem long since I was taking him to school for the first time. :P

13-May-2021 00:14:28 - Last edited on 13-May-2021 00:19:44 by Megycal

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