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Parental support for adults

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Averia Light

Averia Light

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Curious about what others think in regards to how much parents should help their offspring in their adult life.

For instance...

Should parents help with their grandchildren?
Should parents pay for college?
Should parents provide housing for their kids (either under their own roof or purchase another house)?
Should parents cover certain/all bills?


Tbh, I'm sad that there isn't much activity here, so I'm making random threads. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

04-Nov-2023 02:47:33

emotions
Jun Member 2019

emotions

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I think they should show support to a certain extent. It’s better to be financially independent and teach them all the skills needed. It also depends on the culture one is brought up in.

From my father’s side, yes it would be typical to cover all fees well into adulthood. Even pay for marriage ceremonies (which I think is a huge waste of money)From my mother’s side, from my understanding is that she worked straight after school and supported her family.

All my school fees and university fees were paid for. There was no feasible choice in the matter.

I don’t believe they should buy a house for their children at all.
“We’re all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one”

04-Nov-2023 05:18:47

Rooh
Jan
fmod Member
2006

Rooh

Forum Moderator Posts: 40,586 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I don't think there's a "one size fits all" answer to this, it depends on many things:

Finances - are the parents rich? Richer than their children?
How much spare time do they have for looking after grandchildren?

As for housing, personally I think that people should leave home and set up their own as early as they can afford to, it gives valuable life experience and teaches budgeting and finances.
Who's the cat that won't cop out when there's danger all about?

04-Nov-2023 11:08:21

Averia Light

Averia Light

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Scouse said :
if parents have kids, their grandchildren should become the next phase, its probable that the parents actual kids dont want them to "but in" but imo, they are the next phase.

While I agree, the counterargument is that parents have no obligation to help children with their choice to have kids.

Didn't know it wasn't normal to not have help, so it is wild to me that people think their parents "butt in". I'd love for anyone to give a care lmao. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

04-Nov-2023 11:24:03

Averia Light

Averia Light

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Kiwi Magic said :
Well I was bought up by my mum and she was not wealthy so me and my brother didnt get the privileges that you speak of.

So I dont really know what kids are entitled to.

Ehh, my parents used to be wealthy, but I didn't get any of the privileges either, lol. However, my husband and I are doing pretty good, so we are wondering how much is too much which was the inspiration for this thread. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

04-Nov-2023 11:25:41

Averia Light

Averia Light

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emotions said :
I think they should show support to a certain extent. It’s better to be financially independent and teach them all the skills needed. It also depends on the culture one is brought up in.

From my father’s side, yes it would be typical to cover all fees well into adulthood. Even pay for marriage ceremonies (which I think is a huge waste of money)From my mother’s side, from my understanding is that she worked straight after school and supported her family.

All my school fees and university fees were paid for. There was no feasible choice in the matter.

I don’t believe they should buy a house for their children at all.

I would imagine that the counterpoint to this is the fact that the cost of living has far exceeded wage growth in the distant past, so a lot of kids are failing to launch due to the fact that a house that used to cost 100k is now 400k+, but wages have only gone up 20-50%. University costs have followed the same trend.

At some point, a lot of people believe that if you can't afford to provide for your kid well past 18, then you shouldn't have them And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

04-Nov-2023 11:33:50

Averia Light

Averia Light

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Rooh said :
I don't think there's a "one size fits all" answer to this, it depends on many things:

Finances - are the parents rich? Richer than their children?
How much spare time do they have for looking after grandchildren?

As for housing, personally I think that people should leave home and set up their own as early as they can afford to, it gives valuable life experience and teaches budgeting and finances.

Fair. I'll use basic assumptions that would fit a lot of situations.

Assume the parents are more well off than their kids, simply because they have more years to earn money. Whatever that means is up to interpretation.

As far as spare time, assume they work a 40 hour full time job.

The counterpoint to the housing comment would be that a lot of young people can't afford houses and you can't budget your way to afford a 500k basic starter house on 50k/year. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

04-Nov-2023 11:37:13

Megycal
Sep Member 2005

Megycal

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I have 2 children. We helped the youngest get on the property ladder a few years ago by giving him an interest free loan + topping up his savings.
Our eldest also had his savings pot topped up around the same time we did his brother's. We have now gifted the eldest a further amount to help him buy his first property. He had been renting but now feels more secure in his job ( he had been on temporary contracts ) and he's been promoted/ given a decent payrise.
For the youngest we are soon going to convert most of the loan to a gift so each son has had an equal amount. Edit to add: we wanted to give them help now when they need it and we are fortunate enough to have savings.
I cannot help with childcare for my 1 year old grandson as they live around 120 miles away.

04-Nov-2023 17:22:58 - Last edited on 04-Nov-2023 17:27:38 by Megycal

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