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Bruce Waayne
Oct Member 2023

Bruce Waayne

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Well my family is extremely judgemental so i tell them almost nothing, they have not even met my wife cause i know they will dislike certain things about her mainly the fact she has kids, and they do not know what i currently do for my job. So idk its up to the "kids" personally i think family should butt out after a certain point.
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04-Nov-2023 23:02:31

Averia Light

Averia Light

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Megycal said :
I have 2 children. We helped the youngest get on the property ladder a few years ago by giving him an interest free loan + topping up his savings.
Our eldest also had his savings pot topped up around the same time we did his brother's. We have now gifted the eldest a further amount to help him buy his first property. He had been renting but now feels more secure in his job ( he had been on temporary contracts ) and he's been promoted/ given a decent payrise.
For the youngest we are soon going to convert most of the loan to a gift so each son has had an equal amount. Edit to add: we wanted to give them help now when they need it and we are fortunate enough to have savings.
I cannot help with childcare for my 1 year old grandson as they live around 120 miles away.

I didn't mean this to evaluate your personal situation, but I suppose it can't be helped as we would naturally reflect on what we did or didn't do.

Please note any comments I make are only evaluations of my own situation and I know most do what they can (and you did a lot imo!). And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

05-Nov-2023 22:58:18

Averia Light

Averia Light

Posts: 28,508 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Bruce Waayne said :
Well my family is extremely judgemental so i tell them almost nothing, they have not even met my wife cause i know they will dislike certain things about her mainly the fact she has kids, and they do not know what i currently do for my job. So idk its up to the "kids" personally i think family should butt out after a certain point.

Well, yeah, I suppose kids can turn down free money - particularly if it has strings attached. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

05-Nov-2023 22:59:23

Haukur

Haukur

Posts: 1,384 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
One has to take into account cultural aspects as well. Many African, Asian, Icelandic cultures, Family is every thing. You also have to take into account the economic status as well. Mainly the housing situation. Sadly in this current day and age, It makes more sense for a family to take up communal living, in which all still reside under one roof and contribute to the rearing of younger children, and or grand children.

As well as contributing to the upkeep of the house, be it owned which in case would entail the monthly utility and food costs. Or in the case of a lease or rental, the monthly rent or lease price, as well as utilities and food costs.

It also makes sense for familial communal living as well in the current state with wage stagnation too. Don't ever think the reason I am peaceful is because I do not know how to be violent.
Ekki hugsa alltaf að ég sé friðsælt vegna þess að ég veit ekki hvernig á að vera ofbeldi.

07-Nov-2023 16:16:42

Ms Toxicity
Jul
fmod Member
2004

Ms Toxicity

Forum Moderator Posts: 78,314 Emerald Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Averia Light said :
Curious about what others think in regards to how much parents should help their offspring in their adult life.

For instance...

Should parents help with their grandchildren?
Should parents pay for college?
Should parents provide housing for their kids (either under their own roof or purchase another house)?
Should parents cover certain/all bills?


Tbh, I'm sad that there isn't much activity here, so I'm making random threads.

For my mother, assisting my brother with childcare helped her managed the grief of her husband passing (my father). She did not see it as onerous, but rather an act of love. However, if you speak to my sister, she thinks that my brother has taken undue advantage.

As for college/uni, I think that the children should fend for themselves. That said, I am fortunate to have studied in a time, when uni education was free/cheap.

When my brother finally renovated his two-bedroom home that was housing six (two adults and four children), he stayed at my mother's place rent-free. What was supposed to be six months turned into two years. Again, my sister, who lives 1000km away, was less than impressed. Moreso when she discovered that Mum had paid for the renovations with the bulk of Dad's compensation payout from Hardie's for asbestosis (mesothelioma).

With regards to bills, Mum paid for my immunotherapy treatment for an agressive, metastatic, rare cancer (~$100 000 AUD) in 2018 and 2019, which was the remainder of the Hardie's compensation. Fortunately, the treatment worked and I have been in remission for four years. Had she not been able to pay for the treatment, I would have accessed my superannuation funds.

As Rooh mentioned, it all comes down to circumstance and situation.

Edit:
Grammar
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Forum Help
•

07-Nov-2023 17:43:44 - Last edited on 07-Nov-2023 17:50:08 by Ms Toxicity

Averia Light

Averia Light

Posts: 28,508 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Haukur said :
One has to take into account cultural aspects as well. Many African, Asian, Icelandic cultures, Family is every thing. You also have to take into account the economic status as well. Mainly the housing situation. Sadly in this current day and age, It makes more sense for a family to take up communal living, in which all still reside under one roof and contribute to the rearing of younger children, and or grand children.

As well as contributing to the upkeep of the house, be it owned which in case would entail the monthly utility and food costs. Or in the case of a lease or rental, the monthly rent or lease price, as well as utilities and food costs.

It also makes sense for familial communal living as well in the current state with wage stagnation too.

Yeah, I think other cultures do it right tbh. My parents are aging and most of my siblings as well as my husband's siblings are struggling. My parents have a huge house on a great lot in a wonderful location and I'm thinking of buying it. I am hesitant, though, for a lot of reasons. A lot of people on my family (including my parents) want me to do it despite being the "sink or swim" type when I turned 18. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

10-Nov-2023 00:26:17

Averia Light

Averia Light

Posts: 28,508 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Ms Toxicity said :
Averia Light said :
Curious about what others think in regards to how much parents should help their offspring in their adult life.

For instance...

Should parents help with their grandchildren?
Should parents pay for college?
Should parents provide housing for their kids (either under their own roof or purchase another house)?
Should parents cover certain/all bills?


Tbh, I'm sad that there isn't much activity here, so I'm making random threads.

For my mother, assisting my brother with childcare helped her managed the grief of her husband passing (my father). She did not see it as onerous, but rather an act of love. However, if you speak to my sister, she thinks that my brother has taken undue advantage.


As Rooh mentioned, it all comes down to circumstance and situation.

Edit:
Grammar

That's fair. My brothers needed a lot more help than I did and eventually my parents felt bad and did a "catch up" of sorts with me albiet it was a tiny fraction compared to my brothers. I don't hold resentment over it - tbh I don't really care that much. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

10-Nov-2023 00:31:51

Averia Light

Averia Light

Posts: 28,508 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Ok, I'll give my answer, I suppose.

I have one and only child. We plan on giving her the house we currently live in and buying a lake house (currently just waiting for the right one to become available). We also are planning on having a 100k college fund - which we are actively saving/investing for.

I don't plan on covering bills, though, but they shouldn't be too much. I also do plan on helping with the grandkids, if my kiddo wants me to. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

10-Nov-2023 00:50:09

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05-Dec-2023 10:17:06

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