This story unfolds within the context of an in-game quest, a common setting that people often use. Unfortunately, the downside to this is that not everyone has actually done that quest, so if there ever is the rare person who reads your story, it’s not necessarily likely that they will know about it. I thin k I have done the Sea Slug quest, but it was done quite a few years ago, so I don’t remember it. Generally, it’s a good idea to make a story free of the RuneScape storyline, but it’s best to just do what you want.
The narrator gives us the background, and then impatient, explores the caves on her own.
“Yucky. I just stepped on something squishy. I think it might be a slug. There seems to be a lot of them. That’s alright, I’m not afraid of slugs, like silly Melzar is. He’s scared of everything.”
Ha, this was a cute part. I remember Melzar, he was a pretty funny character. Coincidentally, he also makes an appearance in the Bible. I wonder how he got from there to RuneScape. I also wonder how Lucy can journey in a cave without a source of light.
The story ends after the narrator notices arms, and then awakens. It was just a dream. Well, the story is about a girl’s dream, and I think the moral is to not explore dangerous places along especially if you are young.
Mechanics and syntax are fairly good, I did*’t notice any typos or problems, and the story reads easily. There tends to be a lack of description; you may consider expanding scenery by describing the appearance of the environment with a little poetic touch.
For example, you could describe a cave like,
21-May-2015 22:52:18
