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Adventures of Mr. Noob

Quick find code: 49-50-922-66267037

Monotone_Sql
Nov Member 2023

Monotone_Sql

Posts: 4 Bronze Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Hey y'all!

I've gotten back into Runescape; I used to play Runescape when I was a kid before RS3. I remember writing some stories on these forums before and thought it would be fun to do while fishing in Menaphos since that is god awfully boring. So here's the beginning!

(The story has both personally made-up characters and Runescape NPCs)

CHAPTER ONE - Mr. Noob returns

The wizard paced around his room, flicking his wand back and forth as he turned his brother into a rabbit, then a salamander, and finally a statue of Saradomin made of party hats. After a laugh, he turned his brother back into himself. As the party hats diminished into a brown hair archer, the wizard scribbled down some notes into a piece of parchment.
"Gilden, why do you find it funny to turn me into animals? You know what it feels like to be turned into a salamander?" The archer brother said, glaring at the Wizard.
"Oh, it is quite the trip to see you flip and flop like a swordfish as well! But, would you please put your clothes back on Randell?"
"My clothes?" Randell asked puzzled. As Randell looking down, he gasped and ran for the wardrobe.
"You see dear brother, when you transform all your equipment are transferred into your bank." Gilden chuckled as Randell pulled out an old black robe from the back of the wardrobe.
"This will do, until I get to the bank since my brother uses my as his lab experiment."
"Now, what were you telling me before I shrunk you into a piece of cheese?"
"Ah, yes." Randell finished wrapped the rope tight along his waist and picked up a book he placed on Gilden's desk. "I found this book in Varrock library. It tells the tale of a warrior that conquered an evil empire of demons, and I wanted you to tell me more about it."
Gilden took the book, closed his eyes, and seemed to scan the entire contents in a matter of seconds. As he opened his eyes, he let out a sharp groan, placing a hand on his stomach. He became sick, filling up a bucket quickly with..

19-Nov-2022 18:34:36

Monotone_Sql
Nov Member 2023

Monotone_Sql

Posts: 4 Bronze Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
... burnt shrimp. Gilden recoiled with disgusted, spitting up tiny bits of burnt shells.
"What the hell did you do that for?" Gilden said, quickly swishing a potion in his mouth to clean his teeth of the charred remains.
"Me?? I didn't do anything!" Randell looked wide-eyed at Gilden.
"Well, I believe I've heard of this warrior. His name was... Newb? Lewb? Koob? Hm..." Gilden walked to his crystal ball, poking at it a few times with his wand.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm checking RunescapeWiki give me a second." Gilden leaned down, adjusting the glasses on the tip of his nose. "Mister... Noob?"
An explosion of sound blasted throughout the wizard's tower; the windows in Gildens room shattered and both him and his brother fell flat on their backs. A white portal swirled mesmerizingly at the doorway.
"What the hell-" Randell shook with fear as an arm reached out of the portal, then another and soon a torso with legs came forth.
"O' Saradomin, it must be Mister Noob himself." Gilden got up, slowly pacing towards the portal.
"I heard my name?" Said Mr. Noob, as he finally came from the portal. "Any demons I need to slay? Cows to kill? Chickens to defeather? Shrimp to be burnt?"
"Ok, ok, I think we get it." Gilden waved his hand to silence Mr. Noob.
"But, you MUST have a quest for me to complete? Bronze bars to smith?"
"I will give you all the money in my pouch if you would shut up." Randell said, showing Mr. Noob a large pouch of gold.
"A.. pouch? You don't just keep your coins in your bag with your food and weapons?"
Randell and Gilden looked at each other, and they both were thinking the same thing.
"You're from the past, aren't you?" Randell asked.
"All I know is, I was killing some goblins and trying to steal from a stall in Draynor, but kept being told I need a membership for it. How am I supposed to pay for that if I have no money? Isn't THAT THE POINT OF STEALING?"
"Please, Mister er- uh... Noob, get to the part where you see a portal?"
"A portal?"

19-Nov-2022 18:50:22

Monotone_Sql
Nov Member 2023

Monotone_Sql

Posts: 4 Bronze Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
"YES!" Gilden and Randell shouted together.
"OH! That thing? Well, like I said, I was in Draynor and I remember seeing some old man in a party hat stealing from the bank, and all of a sudden, I'm being drawn towards this portal right here." Mr. Noob points at the portal behind him. "But I think I need to go back, that old man was stealing, and I need to ask him how he got away with it without being a member-"
As he turned around to enter the portal, it closed shut and disappeared with a wisp of purple smoke.
"Oh." All three said together.
"That, Mister Noob, was a time traveling portal. I have never actually seen one before, but I've heard about them before. Only a truly powerful force can create one, a force like Saradomin or-"
"Ha, it was just me." A womans voice came from the doorway. A blonde woman in dragon armor walked into the room, looking at Mr. Noob with mild curiosity. "Mr. Noob, I never ever thought I'd see you ever again. Do you remember me?"
"Hm...." Mr. Noob looked at the woman. Her face looked familiar, but that could be because everyone in this world has the exact same face. But her eyes, there was something about the twinkling in her eyes that flickered in Noobs mind.
"I was the first person you asked for gold, because you barely had a bronze dagger to your name."
"SamanthaTheSlayer123??"
"Yes!" Samantha jumped for joy, and hugged Mr. Noob.
"I don't know how to hug, is there an emote for that?"
"Oh, you dummy, I missed you!"
Gilden and Randell watched the two of them reminisce with utter shock and awe.
"So, I'm sorry, you said your name was SamanthaTheSlayer123?" Gilden asked.
"Yes, that's been my username since 2003."
"And, Samantha, how did YOU summon that portal?"
"It helps having level 120 in magic, to start with." Samantha said, showing off her skill cape.
Gilden became speechless. Before this moment, he thought he was one of the most knowledgeable magic users in all of Gielinor.
"You can't get level 120." Mr. Noob remarked.

19-Nov-2022 19:10:32

Monotone_Sql
Nov Member 2023

Monotone_Sql

Posts: 4 Bronze Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
"Noob, you have so much to learn." Samantha said with a warm smile.
"I'm assuming there's a reason you brought this hero here to us?" Randell asked, sitting down in a chair.
"Yes, there is..." Samantha closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "My Runescape boyfriend has gone missing."
"BOYFRIEND?" Noob yelled, looking daggers at Samantha. "I thought I WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND."
"Noob, I have standards. I would never date someone in bronze armor. Anyways, his name is PenguinMaster3 and I need your help finding him."
Gilden pondered for a moment as Randell fletched some oak logs into arrow shafts. Noob, however, was still upset about the falsehoods he had uncovered.
"I thought... this whole time..." Noob sobbed into his rusty bronze gloves. "You were my... Samantha Ookie Pookie Bear."
"Yeah, Noob, we were never that. We were just friends and I don't know why you're acting like we ever were anything? But please, I need all of your help with this. I have a fear he was kidnapped by a cult of dark wizards. The only thing I have left of him is his lucky Rune longsword..."
Gilden gave Samantha a hard glare, looking into the two dark blots of eyes she had, sapphire tears streaming down her face. Randell stopped fletching, getting up on his feet.
"I'm up for a quest, what do you say brother? Like old times?"
Gilden smiled, nodding his head. They all looked at Noob, who was still crying.
"I gave you my lucky pair of wool socks... how could you do this to me?
"Noob, please will you help? I can't do it without you. You're the hero I need."
Noob stopped crying and suddenly the tears dried up. His expression turned to sparking happiness.
"Did you just call me a hero?"
"Yes."
"Alright, I'm in! Let's get this quest going guys!"
So, Mr. Noob, Gilden, Randell and Samantha accepted to go on a quest to find Penguinmaster3. And maybe, just maybe, Samantha would realize her stupidity and get back with Mr. Noob.

19-Nov-2022 19:26:37

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