forums.rs

Forums

The Legend of the Slayers

Quick find code: 49-50-339-60877327

of 2
Darlantan

Darlantan

Posts: 3,189 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I intend no offence toward Jagex as a whole or the individuals who work for it. Now, without further ado...
THE LEGEND OF THE SLAYER
He began simply, much like most do. Once thing was different, however: with his first step onto Gielinor, he was a troll, through and through. He began as a simple troll, claiming to dance for money but never actually dancing when paid. Time passed; he found more creative ways to troll, smithing a full set of iron armour, finding a group of low leveled players, claiming to be giving away free armour and actually giving one of them the set, watching their hopes and dreams rise as they saw this one actually gave away free armour, relishing the feel of their hopes in his hands, and crushing them as he ran away, laughing. More time passed; he found the forums. He became an official forum troll, trolling the rants forum when least expected to. He continued along, gaining power as a troll. He annoyed people as much as possible, stealing kills, spamming forums, tricking newer players into giving him their prescious tinderboxes. Time passed, and he found the ultimate form of trolling: assaulting the roleplaying forums. Little did he know, he had gone too far. It happened in Varrock in the orange light of dusk. He was walking out of the city with his newest set of stolen items when it happened. He encountered a goldcrown. The goldcrown knew who he was, knew him well. He had been tracking him for some time now. They engaged in battle, but the troll was no match for the goldcrown. As the goldcrown dealt the final blow, he felt merciful toward the troll. Instead of killing him, he returned him to his original state, but with a curse. Any who saw the troll would recognize him for what he was, so his trolling would always fail, no matter how elaborate. The troll awoke in Lumbridge, starting his trolling career anew...

26-Apr-2010 00:52:32 - Last edited on 26-Apr-2010 02:20:55 by Darlantan

Darlantan

Darlantan

Posts: 3,189 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
He found, however, that no matter what he did, he was recognized as a troll and ignored. He traveled across the land, attempting to find some way to troll, but unable. He began to become dispirited when he found it impossible. It was then that he ran into another troll. The troll recognized him as a troll immedianlty and began praising him, for he knew of the troll's previous accomplishments. That was how his following began. The curse became a blessing: with its power coursing through him, he was able to assemble an unheard of number of trolls. With his mastery of trolling, he was able to direct them, creating the most elaborate forms of trolling ever made. The silvercrowns learned of this, but were unable to thwart him, for the trolls were crafty. More time passed. The troll's power grew, until he eventually organized the ultimate assault. Basing in the mountains north of Burthrope, the troll unleashed his army, spreading a flame war all across Gielinor. The people suffered. Everywhere they went, there would be arguments composed of @@@@@s, random yelling and insulting, and ascii phats. Gielinor was consumed. All hope seemed to be lost. But Gielinor would not end so easily. Word of the flame war reached the goldcrowns' towers. It was then that the goldcrown who had cursed the troll told the others of his deed. Determined to right his wrong, the goldcrown set out against the trolls, beating back the flame war. Much time passed; eventually, the goldcrown reached his first destination: the sacred temple set deep underneath the mountains. The goldcrown entered, coming to the central chamber, a great door set in the wall. He walked toward it, the words of Rick Astley coming from his lips. With the song sung, the great door opened, revealing the temple's final chamber.

26-Apr-2010 01:31:26 - Last edited on 26-Apr-2010 02:21:29 by Darlantan

Darlantan

Darlantan

Posts: 3,189 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The goldcrown entered the chamber and faced the assembled persons. Six sages stood around the center of the chamber: Andrew, of the cabbage; Paul, of the lava monsters; Mod, of the Calm; Crow, defender of the forums; Craddock, of the epic names; Pauprsen, of the false. The seventh sage stood before the goldcrown: Gerhard, lord of the Towers. He spoke.
"We sages guard the sacred weapon. Why do you seek it?"
"I require it to right a past wrong," the goldcrown replied.
"What makes you worthy of its power?"
"I am not, none can be, but I require its assistance to save Gielinor."
"What is your favorite color?"
"Blue."
"You may pass," replied the seventh sage, stepping aside.
The goldcrown approached the sacred weapon in the center of the chamber. He strode up to it, and raised in his hand, the sacred Banhammer, the only weapon capable of defeating the Trolllord. The goldcrown left the temple, Banhammer in hand, finding a small group assembled at the entrance. They were the Slayers, masters of Slaying. They had spent their entire life training to follow whomever would find the Banhammer. So the goldcrown continued his fight against the troll army, the legendary Slayers by his side. The trolls fled before them, fearing the sacred Banhammer's wrath. The flame war was ended, Gielinor had a chance yet again. The trolls were not yet defeated, however. They had retreated to their stronghold, rallying behind their leader. The goldcrown came to the stronghold and challenged the Trolllord. They fought, while the Slayers held off the horde of trolls, whom knew the Banhammer would not be used against them.

26-Apr-2010 02:00:32

Darlantan

Darlantan

Posts: 3,189 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The Trolllord was powerful. Far more powerful than he had been, for the curse had strengthened him over the years. The goldcrown swung the Banhammer, but the Trolllord blocked its blow with his mighty Can of Spam. A swing. A dodge. Another swing. A block. The battle continued in such a fashion. Days passed as the goldcrown fought the Trolllord while the Slayers continued to hold off the relentless assault of the troll horde. They seemed to be at a stalemate, but the goldcrown pushed on, slowly bringing down the Trolllord. It was over a month later when the goldcrown came to land the final blow. The Banhammer flashed as the goldcrown brought it down on the Trolllord's skull. Unfortunately, the curse was too powerful: the Trolllord could not be killed, merely imprisoned in another realm. With their leader defeated, the troll horde fled in terror. The Slayers cheered and came to congratulate the goldcrown, but were dismayed at what they found, for the Trolllord's defeat had come at a terrible price. As they opened their mouths to speak, they found themselves saying not what they intentended, but instead "'Ello, and what are you after then?" They found that no matter what they did, this was the only way they could greet each other. This was how they found the source of the Trolllord's power: any greeting other than the one they were now limited to gave the Trolllord power. With the Trolllord imprisoned, the goldcrown's task was done. He returned the sacred Banhammer to its temple, where it would remain for the next one needy of its power to wield. The goldcrown returned to the towers, where he was recieved with cheers. The Slayers meanwhile disbanded to teach their art to others. However, they did not forget their battle against the Trolllord, and to this day assign others to Slay them. So remember this the next time you are assigned trolls as a task: you aid the fight against the Trolllord, preventing his escape from his prison.

26-Apr-2010 02:20:36

LovelyMelons

LovelyMelons

Posts: 1,086 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
This story was pretty funny. :D Me, being a harsh critic, actually enjoyed this, unlike multiple amateurish stories I've rated and critiqued in the past. Pretty much flawless, and a story of this nature doesn't have to truly be descriptive because of it's humor. One flaw though: Jagex Moderators cannot fight or trade on runescape, just thought I'd point that out to ya. :P Overall, a humorous story, I'll have to give it a 4/5, good job mate :)

27-Apr-2010 01:18:43

The contents of this message have been hidden.

16-Jul-2010 09:55:47

Quick find code: 49-50-339-60877327 Back to Top