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Asimato
Jul Member 2006

Asimato

Posts: 271 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Pink Skirt Bandits
By Asimato and Juelexi

It was a low wall, one that could easily be jumped. But it was all that separated the small town of Edgeville from the dangerous lands to the north, the Wilderness, or as my friends and I soon began to call it, the Wildy.
With a spread of dark and mangled trees the Wilderness certainly lived up to it’s name. It was a foreboding place that had no laws, a place for the rejects of society, for outlaws and for monsters!
I wasn’t sure why those monsters never crossed over into the small town to plunder and kill but they never did. Oh but the human kind came into town often enough, to lure and scam innocent people into the Wildy, where others would be waiting, waiting to relieve them of their hard earned cash or items. However, no killing ever took place in town. It seemed some higher law that even murderers had to respect, bound killing to the wildys.
To be honest, some were quite good at the ruthless, evil game they played. Many even had admirers and were known across the land. Despite being infamous, they were still famous.
It was for this reason I found myself here in this sadly underpopulated town of Edgeville, sitting on that low wall dangling a foot over. It was Sunday, a good day to be at the beach fishing, I thought, but for the last week I had been here thinking, thinking hard. Pondering how I could teach some of these infamous out-laws a lesson.
I had been coming to the wall every day hoping to spot one particular guy. He was well known among the town and had quite the reputation with the girls. I guess being undeniably handsome with a devil-may-care attitude was the perfect combination for attracting girls. My younger sister Ana had the misfortune of being one of them.
“I’d stay away from that guy if I was you,” a pleasant voice suddenly interrupted my train of thoughts.
Startled, I turned my eyes to the speaker. She was young, about 15 summers.

11-Dec-2014 00:46:07 - Last edited on 11-Dec-2014 00:55:09 by Asimato

Asimato
Jul Member 2006

Asimato

Posts: 271 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
She stood on the wall next to me with a smirk on her lips as she pointed into the Wildy with a long menacing looking knife. “That guy is bad news!*
I turned back quickly to where she was pointing hoping to spot him. I met his gaze across the distance and a chill ran down my spine. It was the guy I was looking for and he was smiling at me.
“He’s been watching you for awhile,” the girl said attracting my attention again, “I figured I’d better come wake you up before he got any ideas.” She cast out a hand as she flopped down onto the wall beside me, “My name’s Kakistos,” she said with a smile.
A sheepish grin came across my face, “I’m Asimato,” I said shaking her hand. She looked familiar to me suddenly and I frowned, “I think I might know you, have we met before?”
A mischievous smile lit up her eyes and she nodded. “I was fishing in Catherby a few months back, with you and some others,” “My friends call me Kakis, just incase you had forgotten.”
I laughed and started to slide down off the wall but reaching out a hand she grabbed my arm.
*Not that side sweetie,” she nodded back in the direction of the guy*****. Pker over there has had his eye on you. Go down on that side of the wall and you’re in the Wilderness and fair game to any of the thugs who live there.”
I laughed, “Thanks, I just wasn’t thinking. He wouldn’t attack me this close to Edgeville though, would he?” I frowned as I surveyed the tree line, “I mean, doesn’t he do most of his attacking deeper north?”
Kakis nodded casually, “Yup, but believe me he’ll have his thugs waiting to pick the bones of any who wander in,” she smiled, “or fall in. Now come on get down off that wall before you give me a heart attack.”
I laughed and slid down the wall, this time on the right side.
As we walked away from the wall I wondered; Kakis had been fun to fish with, but how much did I really know about her? Could I trust her?
*Have I suddenly grown two heads?” Kakis asked looking over her shoulder at me

11-Dec-2014 00:46:22 - Last edited on 11-Dec-2014 00:59:31 by Asimato

Asimato
Jul Member 2006

Asimato

Posts: 271 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
in mock horror. Her green eyes danced, “Why are you staring at me so intently?”
“Sorry,” I shook my head. “I did*’t mean to stare,” Embarrassed, I laughed, “I’m working on a plan and I’m wondering if I should recruit you. It might be dangerous, but it’s going to be a lot of fun and might also teach some bad people a bit of a lesson. Can I trust you Kakis?”
“Hey if it’s fun and dangerous then please count me in!” A wicked grin sprang to her lips, “I hope you can trust me! To be honest, I’m pretty awful most of the time but I kinda like you Asi, and if you need my help I would love to join you in whatever you are going to be doing.”
“Ok good,” I nodded, my mind made up. “Meet me tonight on the outskirts of Varrock. You know the Jolly Boar Inn pub?”
“Sure do!” Kakis laughed.
“Great!” I smiled, “I’ll let you know what we will be doing when we meet up. Come alone though, don’t bring a crowd, okay?”
She nodded her eyes alight with curiosity. *What time should I show?”
“Nine I think,* I said. “It’ll be fun, but come prepared for adventure.”
She saluted. “Oh yeah! I’m excited! Life was getting a little dull, glad I ran into you!”


The moon was peeking through the trees as night settled in.
I squinted, searching the surrounding darkness. The place was so quiet and eerie at night. I was sure it had to be past nine by now.
I glanced over to the large pub some distance away, suddenly thankful for the small gleam of light from the windows. I was nervous at first that someone might see us gathering all suspiciously in the dark...near the wall to the Wilderness...but at that moment I was just pleased to see a bit of light!
“Hahaha.. you don’t say?* the sound trailed off as the door to the Jolly Boar Inn closed. I frowned, seemed the pub was doing very well.
“Hey,” I heard a voice say and I instantly crouched low, someone was standing outside the pub leaning on the rails. *what ya doing out here all by yourself?” the voice slurred.
“Oh go away Martin, I’m waiting

11-Dec-2014 00:46:40 - Last edited on 11-Dec-2014 01:20:27 by Asimato

Asimato
Jul Member 2006

Asimato

Posts: 271 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
for a friend,” someone answered.
The voice was familiar and I realized that it was Kakis! What was she doing waiting for me IN the pub? I rolled my eyes; she had probably been waiting in there for me the whole time.
The door opened and closed again as the man, Martin, went back inside. I quietly made my way to the pub.
“Kakis,” I couldn’t help but snicker, “I did*’t mean we would meet in the pub!”
She looked at me, startled with wide eyes, “Gah! Asi, you scared me to death!”
I laughed again, “Come on, over here where it’s dark.”
She eyed my dark attire and smirked, “This is really going to be a fun night!”

“So, who are we waiting for now?* Kakis asked as we both now stood in the darkness.
“A friend of mine,” I smiled eyeing the darkness, “she should be here soon, her name is Juelexi.”
“There is someone coming,” Kakis whispered pointing off down toward where Varrock would be, “maybe it’s her?*
The dark shape bobbed up and down as it got closer. Whoever it was, they were obviously in a hurry. Stopping near one of the pub windows the figure bent over with her hands on her knees gasping for air. It was definitely Juelz.
“Juelz,” I whispered loudly, “Juelz!”
She turned toward us and sighed in great relief.
“You did*’t leave me!” she exclaimed trotting over to us with arms out stretched.
“Shhhh!,” said Kakis with a finger to her lips.

Juelexi smiled happily as she hugged me tightly, “I was sure you would of left by now! I’m sorry I’m so late! I ran all the way here when I saw the time.” She smiled now as she hiked up her backpack.
Kakis frowned at her, “You are going like that?”
Juelz looked at her as if only seeing her then, “Oh, hello, are you going too?”
Kakis nodded, “Name is Kakistos,” she motioned a hand over what Juelz was wearing, “You are going to go into the Wildness like that?”
Juelz frowned, “Well I did*’t have time to change...”
“That’s fine,” I said motioning them both over behind a tree, “I got you both some clothes to wear.”

11-Dec-2014 00:47:09 - Last edited on 11-Dec-2014 01:24:51 by Asimato

Asimato
Jul Member 2006

Asimato

Posts: 271 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Kakis rolled her eyes and Juelexi smiled.
“So, we are all going to look like bandits?” Kakis asked with a smirk, “who are we robbing?”
I smiled wickedly, “We are going to rob the robbers!”

“So we are heading straight into the leaders camp? To what, rob them?” Juelexi asked as she followed close on my heels.
Kakis took up the rear keeping an ever-watchful eye out. I was so relieved to have her help!
“Well, yeah,” I answered hesitantly, “that’s really all I had planned.”
“Isn’t that going to be... hard?”
Kakis laughed, “It will be near impossible, to be honest. They have their camps pretty well guarded, so it might be good to do some scouting of the area first.*
I nodded with an excited smile, “Yeah, we can just scout for now to get a better idea of what we have in store for us.”
“WOW!” Juelz exclaimed, and I saw right away the horde of monsters gathered below us some distance away. We all quickly crouched, Juelz covering her mouth to keep from crying out again.
*Those are Skellys,” Kakis whispered to me, “they are pretty dumb but they can hit hard, we should try to avoid them if we can.”
I marveled at the sheer number. I had seen my share of Skeletons in my adventuring and questing but not quite to this extent!
They all clanked around bashing their swords into their shields making a loud ruckus! Their dusty off white bones seemed to glimmer in the moonlight.
I shuddered.
Kakis took the lead then motioning for us to follow her, “Stay close,” she whispered, *When we see Skellys it’s not long after that we see ghosts, goblins and probably a few Pkers.”

Juelexi and I followed Kakis, all of us staying as low as we could. A couple skeletons spotted us and with a few gasping skeleton wails they plodded after us.
Kakis did*’t seem too concerned and soon we had circled around them and were back among some tall, shabby dead trees with them behind us.

“Woooot!” Juelexi exclaimed pumping her fist into the night sky, *That was so scary! Wow! What fun!”

11-Dec-2014 00:47:22 - Last edited on 11-Dec-2014 01:34:03 by Asimato

Asimato
Jul Member 2006

Asimato

Posts: 271 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“SHHHH!” Kakis gave her a deadly look, “This is not a safe place! We need to be quiet.”
Juelz covered her mouth again with a look of horror, “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“It’s ok, Juelz,” I said patting her shoulder, “Just remember this place belongs to the Pkers.”
She nodded.
Without a sound, Kakis searched the surrounding area. She paused and pointed to one of the mangled trees. “Here, help me climb this so I can take a look around.”
Juelexi and I quickly helped Kakis up the tree and she surveyed the area.
“I see something over there,” Kakis motioned her hands in the general direction, “looks like a body.”
“A dead body?” Juelz asked nervously and then shuddered, “Zombies are the worst!”
Kakis jumped from the tree with ease and then started after the body.
“Hummmm, hmmmmdee, I’ve never seen a purple cow...”
We all froze in an instant as the faint sound of someone singing came into earshot.
“Quick,” I whispered, “hide!”
With each of us hiding behind a dead tree or a studded shrub, we waited with abated breath as the singer came into view.

**“Ooooooh! I’ve never seen a purple cow! LALALALA,
I never! hope! to see one!” Whistling,
“But I can tell you thisssss! my friiiiend!!
I’d rather see!! than be one!!!”**

The singer was a young woman; she was casually dressed in some studded ranging armor with a standard crossbow secured to her back. She was smiling, almost skipping, as she made her way toward us. Her vibrant purple hair tied up in two loose pigtails, bounced on either side of her face.
It was an odd thing to see.
The purple haired, cow singing girl, stopped a few steps away from where Kakis was hiding behind a tree and spreading her arms out she glanced around.

“Go ahead and come on out” she laughed lightly, “I know you are there!”
Juelz popped her head out from behind a tall shrub, “Blofu?” she whispered to the girl.
Blofu laughed as she eyed Juelexi, “I thought I heard your voice!”

11-Dec-2014 00:47:37 - Last edited on 11-Dec-2014 01:38:03 by Asimato

Asimato
Jul Member 2006

Asimato

Posts: 271 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Kakis and I also popped our heads out, our worry fading to confusion.
Juelz was laughing now as she quickly made her way toward her friend.
*What a small world!” Juelz was saying as she gave Blofu a playful smack on the back.
“Nah, not so small, I saw you running through Varrock and thought I’d see what you were up to.” the girl smiled, “I never thought you’d end up in the Wildy though,” she in turn gave Juelz a nudge. “Way to go doing some real exploring!”
Juelexi rolled her eyes and then seemed to notice the other two people waiting patiently to be introduced.
“Oh! Blofu this is my buddy Asimato and her friend Kakistos.” She looked at me and gestured at Blofu excitedly, *Asi, this is Blofu! We use to *own’ Varrock, the two of us. We would literally spend hours harassing people at the town square...” she smiled in memory “ah, the good ol’ days!”
Blofu laughed and said hello to us and with the pleasantries done the 3, now made 4, continued our trek toward the mysterious body.

It was indeed somebody. The poor guy was lying out on the ground with his helmed head looking towards the night sky.
Kakis was excited as she quickly dropped to a knee to inspect the body.
“Look at this!” she pointed at all the items laid out next to him. “This guy seems to have just died, doesn’t look like someone killed him.” She pulled off one of the mans armored gloves to reveal red and badly swollen hand.
“Ah” she said knowingly.
*What is it?” I asked.
“He was bit by a deadly red spider,” Kakis said placing the hand to the ground and standing back up. “We must be near a spider lair so you all be watchful.”
“Spiders!?” Juelz looked nervous.
“He couldn’t have died to long ago seeing as the body hasn’t been looted,” Blofu pointed out.
Kakis smiled wickedly, “I have an idea!” she bent quickly to grab at the dead man’s helm. “Here, help me take his clothes off!”
We all blinked at her.
She eyed us with impatience, *Oh come on, we are going to take his stuff!”

11-Dec-2014 00:47:55 - Last edited on 11-Dec-2014 01:39:40 by Asimato

Asimato
Jul Member 2006

Asimato

Posts: 271 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Juelz and Blofu started on the guy’s abandoned backpack, the prospect of gold too much to contain them.
I looked around suddenly feeling exposed, “It’s one thing to steal from those dirty, Wildy crooks but I don’t feel right robbing a corpse.”
Kakis pulled the helm off the man and then started on his armored legs, “This guy was probably a Wildy crook himself,” she smiled giving the legs a tug. “And besides, if we don’t take it you know Mr Pker will.”
I sighed, *Yeah, guess you’re right.”
Kakis laid the armor out on the ground to inspect it, *Not bad,” she smiled, “I think it might be Rune.”
I bent down to rub at a smudge on the arm of the breastplate, “Hmm, odd, won’t come off,” I murmured.
Kakis ran a hand over it and then smiled, “It’s not dirt,” she pulled the arm bit up to better see it, “see, it’s a mark.” She tapped the symbol with glee, “It’s a PKer mark. This guy was definitely one of his thugs.”
A groan interrupted her and with gasps of surprise we all moved back.
*He- he’s not dead!” Julez exclaimed and then sighed, “Is it awful of me to say? But I really wanted his loot!”

Laughing I rummaged in my backpack, “No don’t be sad Juelz, this is way better and it will fit in nicely with my plan.”
I finally found what I was looking for just as the guy’s eyes flickered open.
“Here,” I reached under his head and, with a gentle hand, raised it up so he could sip some of the purple liquid I had in a small vial. He hesitated, he was in a lot of pain and still groggy.
“Its ok,” I assured him, “this is a pain potion it’ll take your pain away.*
Gratefully he took a sip then another. Sighing he relaxed, his eyes closing in sleep.
“Wow!” bending down Blofu looked at the guy, *What is that stuff, it worked so fast!”
“My secret.” I laughed, “Now Juelz, go on and finish your looting.”
“I don't know,” she hesitated, “It seems mean to take his things when he is sick and sleeping.”

11-Dec-2014 00:48:04 - Last edited on 11-Dec-2014 01:42:11 by Asimato

Asimato
Jul Member 2006

Asimato

Posts: 271 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“Look, Juelz,” Kakis finished collecting the armour, tying it all together she slung it over her shoulder. “This guy isn't nice, if he was awake and able, he would knock you out and loot you. So don't waste pity on him. He deserves this.”
She looked around, “We need to hurry and do what we are gonna do and leave, it’ll be morning soon.”
Turning she looked at me, “So what are your plans Asi? What are we going to do?”
“Well tonight, all I had wanted to do was to check out the pk’ers hide out, but we have wasted our time here…” I trailed off as I watched Juelz trying to cram a gold bar into her backpack.
Blofu rolled her eyes, “You came into the Wildy with a full backpack?* she accused.
Juelexi smiled with embarrassment, *I did*’t really know what we were going to do... I wanted to be prepared!”
“Juelz!?” Blofu rolled her eyes again as she lifted out a pink skirts from Juelexi’s sack. *What situation would this be needed in?”
“You never know“ Juelz laughed, “anyhow it’s no big deal, we can just leave some of my items behind to make more room for the gold.”
Blofu was suddenly super giddy, “I have an awesome idea,” she said as she held out the skirt in front of her. She smirked and then looked from us to the man lying on the ground.
“You know...” she held up the skirt and again eyed the stripped sleeping man curiously, “It won*t be long before they find this guy and realize he’s been looted.” She smiled wickedly, “Let’s leave them a message!*
“Oh please, let me have the honor.” Reaching out Kakis took the skirt from Blofu. “Haha,” she giggled. “This dude is in for some surprise when he wakes up!” She bent down and began putting the pink skirt on the man. When she finished we all stepped back a bit to take a look.
He was laid out with his hands folded over his bare chest and the pink skirt around his waist.
“Hmm,” I said, “seems to be missing something.”
“Oh I know!” Juelz exclaimed and then began digging back through her pack,

11-Dec-2014 00:48:34 - Last edited on 11-Dec-2014 01:44:05 by Asimato

Asimato
Jul Member 2006

Asimato

Posts: 271 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“Here,” she bent over and placed a tiara neatly on his head.
Kakis laughed and I smiled in satisfaction.
“We should probably get going,” Blofu said with a nervous look around, *I think we’ve used up our Wildy welcome. But first,” reaching into her backpack she pulled out a pencil and a dirty piece of note paper. *What shall we say?”
Giggling Juelexi rubbed her hands together. “Be careful who you mess with! With regards…the Pink Skirt Bandits”
I laughed and Blofu began to scribble. Placing the note under the crossed hands of the man we giggled again, clasping hands over our mouths so we wouldn't make to much noise we turned and ran back toward Varrock.

Thus ended the first adventure of the gang known as the “Pink Skirt Bandits” The gang became a well-known name through out Varrock. And many a well known P.k.’er woke up in the middle of the Wildys wearing only a pink skirt and a tiara.
They hunted far and wide for the ones known as the Pink Skirts, but no one ever discovered who they were.

So… shhhh, don’t tell any one, this will be our little secret! :)


**The Purple Cow by Gelett Burgesses

11-Dec-2014 01:47:06

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